Tainted Glass
by chickfly317
Summary: Kirsty's nightmare is about to be exposed. How far will Warren go to protect himself, and at what cost? How will she cope when the ED find out what she's been hiding and who will be there to pick up the pieces?
1. Chapter 1

In the pit of my stomach I felt it. I knew what was coming. I'd tried so hard to stop it happening again but even doing everything I possibly could it still wasn't going to make a difference. I couldn't stop it. I was getting worse at hiding it.

I've always been good at keeping secrets whether they were my own or someone else's. I've always been proud that I could be relied on and trusted to keep them but now my ability seems to be fading. Normally people never found out well not till several years ago. That was when the first person noticed. I had no idea what to do. I couldn't believe that someone actually knew. That they had seen through my web of lies and there they were in front of me telling me everything would be alright all I had to do was leave. Like it was that easy and the thought had just never popped into my head I even had to question myself did I really look that stupid. That was the first time we moved. Ever since then I've got worse with each new place it's taken less and less time for them to figure it out. The only thing that made me regret moving all those times was Nita. One day we'd just get up and leave, she'd have to leave her school and her friends and we never gave her a proper explanation. She probably thinks were on the run or something but that's not far from the truth; and just like everything your on the run from eventually it catches up with you. At every hospital I've been at I've been good at my job. I specials in mental health and people often question me on how I get though to those type of people. I guess they meant the type of people who don't want to listen who are realistic and know we can't really help them. Little did they know I was one of those people so I would just smile and shrug appearing modest. It always took months if not a year for people to start noticing something was wrong then after accident after accident I'd be put under "surveillance" and they would catch on. I'd get the same speech the same looks of pity and sympathy and then the next morning we would be gone. But here it's difference. Here I've got friends; here I've got Adam. Here I can't leave.

Holby city hospital, most people would only go if they were sick of visiting someone who was sick. For me holby city hospital is my haven a place where I feel safe, where I'm away from him; a place where it's ok for me to be with Adam.

I see every stolen glance. A glance that most people would love to receive but my stolen glances, well these were different. There not the glances filled with love or lust but instead with worry and what felt a lot like pity but I knew Adam to well for that. He was concerned. It had been building for week's maybe even months and when someone starts watching you like hawk they notice the little things which normally go unnoticed.

It's driving me crazy. I don't know how I would cope if he found out. If he knew I was that weak but I know he's getting closer to it every day that's if he doesn't already know, I know he suspects something. Sometimes I think it would be a relief if he knew but then I remember the others who have found out. I couldn't bare to hear that speech from Adam to see him look at me the way all the others have. I like it here I don't want to have to move, not again. I don't want to up root Nita's life again just because I can't keep it a secret. I know Adam would help me if I asked him but I couldn't if I ever left warren we'd have to run and Nita would hate me for it she would never understand. Off course I would never want her to but sometime, sometimes I let myself think about telling her, just so I can pretend she would take my side and tell me how much she loved me but I know truth I know she's a daddy's girl and I come a lowly second. To her I'm the evil in this family the one who's always so mean to her dad. The one who makes him upset. At least I know he would never raise a hand to her not his beloved daughter. He loves her too much.

I was snapped out of my thought by a loud crash behind me. I jumped bringing my hand up to my heart in relief when I realised I was in the ED and not at home. Then I saw them those warm brown, caring eyes studding me from across the desk. I knew he saw the relief on my face he knew something wasn't right but yet I couldn't tare my eyes away from his. I looked ashamed and frightened even though I hid it well. I couldn't hide it from him, I could hide it from everyone, everyone but him he could see straight though me. He could see it and didn't bother hiding that he could or what he was feeling-worry. All I had to do was stay way from him no texts no phone calls and definitely no kissing. Before I even knew it Adam had take the several strides between us and stood just centimetres away from me his worried look still plastered all over his face. I grabbed my notes and pivoted quickly hoping to get away with out talking to him but it was too late his hand was on my arm and I had to stop and face him.

"Hey," I tried to sound light hearted and even had a fake smile to go with it.

"Kirst," was all he managed to say before I butted in.

"I've got to get these done otherwise I'll have Ruth and Tess out for my blood."

"Okay," he put his hands up as a sign of defeat. I sighed it had never been this hard before.

It was the end of another shift and I had to go back to him I sat on the bus emotionally and physically drained and wondered what he would have in store for me tonight. Which Warren would he be? I knew the answer but I still wished that the old one would be there. His appearances were getting less and less. It had been weeks since I'd had seen his good natured side. Of course I saw it all the time but it was never directed at me, he saved that side of him for anyone but her. In short it had been weeks since she had seen his good natured side when they were alone together. He was like a switch the second Nita left the room he would change.

It was easier to cope with in small batches when he would be kind and caring in-between the beatings but now all I ever got was the beatings the accusations and then the silent's. Now he never apologised and sometimes I swear I see Warren looking at my bruises with a smirk on his face and I have to fight the urge to throw up. He had never been like this, well not this bad anyway. The first time he ever hit me Nita was just a couple of weeks old after I told him not to wake her. I was horrified but she was 16 with a new born and a family that had disowned me the second they front out about my pregnancy they didn't want to know me and I knew I could never go back so I stayed what else could I do. When it first started he had been so sorry and filled with empty promises and I allowed myself to believe that he meant it and it would never happen again but after the third or fourth time I realised that it wasn't going to stop but I stayed after all I had nowhere to go and after listening to his begging I realised I couldn't leave even if I wanted to he would never let me so in the end I stayed and just learned to live with it and moving on whenever anybody got too close for comfort.

She turned her key in the lock inhaling deeply before opening the door with caution.

"I'm home," Kristy's shaky voice filtered though the silent house.


	2. Chapter 2

I let out a small groan everything hurt. I opened my eyes slowly to find I was yet again waking up on the kitchen floor, the cold hard tiles harshly supporting my exhausted body. This is what my life had turned into. The only time when I got sleep was when I was unable to stand the pain any longer and fell into unconsciousness.

I just lay on the kitchen floor resting; taking stock of the new injuries I had acquired with the events of last night flashing thought my mind. Great the kettle again, there goes my morning coffee I think as I remember Warren grabbing it and launching it at me. I move my hand unconsciously up to my head to touch the spot were it had connected with my head. Flinching as I pulled my hand away sharply and saw that it was covered in partly dried blood.

Gritting my teeth I pushed my arms underneath me and managed to sit up. I closed my eyes trying to stop the room spinning around me. When the feeling finally settled I opened my eyes again and this time able to take in the state of the kitchen. The table was over turned with the chairs lying like bowling pins around it and everything that was on top of the surfaces was now scattered over the floor some of it covered in blood and the events of last night flashed through my mind. Then I realised I had no idea what the time was and glanced nervously at the clock its time showing 5:07. I sighed in relief realising I had a couple of hours until I would have to face Nita and Warren. Knowing I had to get the kitchen cleaned so that Nita would never see it or me in that state I grabbed on to the kitchen counter and pulled my aching body into action.

I stood in the shower; the warm water burning and soothing my body. I watched the red water run down my body then swirl into drain. I always tried not to look at the angry bruises that were scattered over me but I had to examine my ribs this morning. In his fury warren had landed a couple of powerful strikes there and I was pretty sure had had broken at least one, if not more of my ribs. Another more memorable blow was a kick just inside my left hip. The bruise had spread from my belly button across my hip and onto my side. With the additional bruise across my arms and thighs I look like a bunching bag, which I didn't want to admit I actually was.

A couple of hours later and I was cooking breakfast after making the kitchen spotless and showering and pulling on the right shaped clothes to cover my bruises. I just hoped I could hide the gash just behind my hair line where the kettle had hit me. It was open and kept bleeding on and of. I knew it really need stitches but how the hell was I going to explain it with out drawing even more suspicion from Adam. I couldn't so I would hope that I would stay hidden. I was stood over the frying pan when Nita troughed down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Morning mum," I smiled my baby was never one for mornings.

"Morning Darling," I replied setting a plate of scrambled eggs down in front of her and turned to plate the other half up for Warren.

"What's the occasion?" Nita asked gesturing to her plate. Kirsty shifted nervously under her daughter's gaze.

"I, I was up early and had some extra time on my hands but now I've got to go and for once I might not me late," I gave my daughter a smile and kissed her forehead then headed upstairs to give Warren his breakfast.

"Morning, I brought you some breakfast." I said as confidently as I could manage placing the plate on his bedside table.

"I've got to get to work now, I'll be home for tea." I bent over and kissed his forehead but he grabbed my top stopping me from getting up.

"Make sure your on time." He whispered angrily in to my face his fowl breathe clinging to my face.

I raced out of the front door not because I was late but because I wanted to get away. The cold January air hit my body. I shivered, causing jolts of pain to flow though my body. At the end of the road I stopped and took a deep breath ignoring the pain racing long my ribs. The air was so refreshing and I felt free. It was an amazing feeling and I stood for a minuet savouring it.

I arrived at work on time thank god; I really didn't want to be in Tess's back book today. I didn't think I could handle it. I knew I look awful and had to shake of a couple of worried colleagues before I even made it to the staff room. I tried my hardest to stay on task but everything seemed too much. My head had been bleeding on and off and I had given up on trying to hid it and just let the blood seep into my hair. Luckily nobody had noticed. I was so tiered and my mind kept wandering back to the day when I had collapsed in the shower. I cursed my self for being so stupid but the moments which kept replaying were when Adam sat with me in the on-call room waiting for me to fall asleep and promising not to leave until I did so. I didn't realise how safe I could feel until I was there with him holding my hand. He was being so kind to me and after all that I had done I could barely believe it. I had tricked him into prescribing drugs which I had taken. He could have lost his job because of this, because of me and still he was being kind to me.

I'd been getting worried glances all day and not just from Adam. This was not new behaviour for Adam but I knew today I looked a lot worse than normal but the amount of times I caught Adam looking at me in concern was seriously getting on my nerves. I knew if he watched me any longer he would see the long pauses I was taking trying to clear my head or the blood seeping though my hair. My shift couldn't go fast enough and it had barely begun.

Once again my head was spinning and everything blurred over. I was getting more and more frustrated with myself as I once again tried to clear my head and do my job. I had paused in reception and held onto the counter to keep my balance. I was swaying slightly when Jay rushed over to me putting his arm around my waist to steady me.

"That's it. I want to know what's wrong." Jay looked down at me sternly searching my eyes for an answer.

"I'm fine," I say twisting in his arms to look away, "honestly."

"No Kirsty, you not," he gently pulled me back around so he could look into my eyes again, "please let me in."

"Uurrmmm, I've just got a bit of a headache, it's nothing really. I'm just going to take two minuets," I replied quickly moving out of his grasp and into the staff room but I'd moved too fast to get to the staffroom and after quickly shut the door behind me I half sat half fell onto the floor resting my back against the door, my head flopping to one side, too heavy for me to hold up any longer. That's when I realised my mistake,

"Kirsty," Adam rushed to my side. "Can you hear me?"

I nodded slowly, "I'm just tiered; I just want to sleep."

"Oh Kirsty," he pulled me into a hug and I immediately felt safe in his arms. I relaxed into the hug letting my head resting on his chest and breathing in his scent.

"Come with me." with out hesitating I let Adam lift me up and lead me to the on-call room.

"I can't, I'm meant to be working." I say as I try lousily to make my way to cubicles. Adam didn't even bother to reply; he just opened the door and guided me inside. I couldn't believe it Adam was looking after me again. I was lying down my aching head resting on the soft pillow with Adam's warm and comforting hand in mine. We were in the same position we had been just a week ago. I felt safe I could sleep while Adam was here. He's the only one who I could sleep around. I was just about to drift off although I kept opening my eyes to make sure I was actually there and it wasn't a dream when I remembered Warren.

"Adam," I mumbled.

"Kirsty, I'm not going anywhere," he spoke softly.

"I can't be late," was all I managed to say before exhaustion took over.


	3. Chapter 3

I was standing in reception going over some patient notes when Kirsty arrived. Jay was stood beside me and noticed her first and strode over to greet her. At first I didn't see her, Jay blocked my view but when he moved he revealed someone who resembled Kirsty, but it couldn't be her. She looked exhausted and she was very pale and instead of walking with her usual bounce she was just about managing to place one foot in front of the other.

Kirsty avoided me most of the morning, not letting me get with in a meter or so of her but she couldn't stop me watching and worrying about her. She defiantly wasn't her usual self; apart from her appearance she was working at a fraction of her normal pace and she kept pausing and staring off into space.

I wanted desperately to know what was wrong. It was eating me up. I couldn't concentrate on anything but Kirsty and by mid-morning I already needed to clear my head.

I was staring at the boiled kettle when the staffroom door swung open suddenly. I spun round wondering what on earth was going on only to see Kirsty almost past out on the floor.

Kirsty was finally sleeping. She looked so peaceful. Her hand was cold in mine and I massaged my thumb into her palm. Her skin was soft but also kind of clammy. That's when I hoped that she was just poorly and this was nothing more than a virus; but I know something's wrong. I just don't know how to get her to open up to me. She always has such a strong wall up but I've found crakes in it. I don't think anybody else has, well not until this morning when she arrived for her shift looking more than a little worse of wear. Luckily Tess wasn't in today otherwise she would have been sent straight home and I wouldn't have got to look after her, to hold her hand in mine whilst she slept.

As I sat there staring down at her beauty all the feelings I've been trying to fight flooded over me. I know she's married and I know it's wrong but I love her. I'd do anything for her. She said to me that working with me is the only part of her day that she looks forward to but for me working with her is the only thing keeping me here. I could never leave whilst she was here. I can never wait to see her rushing in late grinning mischievously if she wasn't caught. Sometimes I think I want her to get away with it more than she does just so I can see that grin.

She scared me so much last week; the sight of her unconscious on the shower floor is one that haunts me. The thought that I nearly lost her is too much. I could see how tiered she was that day and I should have realised what the Retilin was for. When I look back on that day I'm angry with myself for not realising what she had done but I'm also angry at Kirsty for not coming to me but the anger is clouded by terror and relief for when finally she woke-up and then when we sat in the on-call room I was worried. She had to keep opening her eyes to check if I was still there. She was actually scared to go to sleep. Today she looked a lot worse than a week ago and she still wasn't sleeping. At least she is now. It's something she can't seem to do at home. Realising I had to get back to my shift I leant over and gently place a kiss to her temple before returning to my job.

My break was coming up and once again all I could think about was Kirsty. All I wanted to do was go and check on her, to sit beside her and watch her sleep peacefully.

Not being able to resist the temptation any longer I snuck off five minuets early. I was being careful not to wake her. I opened the door slowly and quietly closed it behind me. The room was dimly lit, the light clinging to her soft features; she looked breath taking. I moved closer aiming to sit on the chair still positioned by her bed unable to take my eyes off of her.

Blood. I panicked. Her pillow was covered in blood, the deep crimson colour contrasting with her pale skin.

"Kirsty," I was panicking. This couldn't be happening I couldn't lose her. How had I not noticed something more was wrong? I shook her, desperately needing a reaction but I didn't get one.


	4. Chapter 4

** Adam**

"Kirsty," I was panicking. This couldn't be happening I couldn't lose her. How had I not noticed something more was wrong? I shook her, desperately needing a reaction but I didn't get one and then her eyes fluttered. I was so thankful when her eyes eventually flickered open. The feeling didn't last long as I saw the terror in her eyes.

"What's the time?" she demanded shakily.

"Just after two." I replied confused by her reaction. She'd obviously lost a lot of blood and must be in pain but she was asking me what the time was. She'd relaxed at my words and allowed her self to sag back onto the bed with out making any indications to her injury.

"Kirst, are you ok," I ask trying to bring up the fact she was lying in her own blood and hadn't even noticed.

"Fine, just tiered," she answered a puzzled look crossing her face.

I didn't know what to say, how to tell her. So I just sat on the edge of the bed clasping my hands together looking down at them and probably looking rather nervous. Then my luck kicked in. She'd reached up and touched the side of her face and immediately felt the sticky substance on the side of her forehead and pulled her hand down unsteadily to look at it. Seeing that it was covered in blood she turned rapidly to look at the pillow behind her and then up to me in horror, tears quickly threatening to fall.

At first neither of us moved and just sat there almost trying to avoid the situation we where in but we both knew that it couldn't be avoided.

I spoke first. It had been a couple of minuets and it was clear that Kirsty wasn't going to try and explain.

"Can I take a look," I say not wanting to push her so that she ran. She nodded but didn't move her gaze from the door. I moved towards her cautiously.

It wasn't just the side of her face that was covered in blood it was also matted into her hair and I wonder just how much blood she had lost and how she was still managing to sit in front of me awake and calm. I started to part her hair but she flinched from my touch. She then took my hand in hers and guided it up to her fore hair just passed her hairline indicating where the cut was.

It defiantly needed stitches but I knew that I would not be able to persuade Kirsty to move to cubicles to get it seen to.

"Can you do it in here, please," she sounded so vulnerable and still hadn't taken her eyes off the door. I just wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be ok but first I needed to stitch her cut. It was still bleeding slightly and I was getting more and more worried about the amount of blood she was losing.

"Ok, don't move," I was unsure if she even heard me.

"Kirsty?"

"I won't," she whispered. I looked unconvincingly at her and with out even looking at me she replied, "promise."

She hadn't moved. I'd returned stitched her cut and the whole time we were in silents and she didn't move a muscle. She was so unlike the Kirsty I had grown to love. She seemed defeated and I thought over and over again I just wanted her to open up to me to tell me what was wrong how she had got hurt and then for me to hold her comfort her and do the best I could possibly do to help her but still we sat in silent's, her too lost in thoughts and me too scared to ask. What if she didn't trust me enough to tell me? What would I do? It didn't matter what I would do I had to try.

"Kirsty talk to me. What happened?" I asked softly moving around to sit in front of her on the bed.

**Kirsty**

What was I going to tell him? What could I make up that he would believe? I sat trying desperately to think of some kind of excuse or story as to how I got my injuries but nothing came to me. Everything thing I thought of sounded ridiculous and they was no way I was telling him the truth. I didn't want him to know. I didn't want to move and I certainly didn't want to be away from him. I should have called in sick but I couldn't stand to be in the house any longer. I just had to think of the right thing to say. I couldn't blame this one on Nita.

I could always reel of lies like the time when Adam noticed the bruises on my arm. Straight away there it was Nita and theme park. This time though all I could think was that a cupboard shelf fell on me. It was lame. If it was that simple why didn't I just get it seen to? I was willing my self to think but nothing came and then Adam spoke.

"Kirsty talk to me. What happened?" He asked calmly as he sat in front of me on the bed.

My time was up and I hadn't got anything to give him. So I did the only thing I could.

"Please can you take me home?" He looked hurt and I couldn't do that to him. "I'll explain; just not now. I'm tiered, really really tiered. I just want my bed." I closed my eyes I really was very tiered but wanting to go home to my bed was far from the truth. I wanted to stay here with Adam. Have him hold me, kiss me but I knew that could never be.

"Ok," he seemed hesitant, "I've got a couple of things to sort out but I'll be back in about ten."

"Thank you," I sighed giving him a small smile before flopping back down on the bed and closing my eyes.

When I didn't hear the door open and shut I opened them again to find Adam hovering over me looking at my tummy. I followed his gaze filling with dread as I saw that my top had risen up slightly exposing my now deep purple and blue stomach, hip and side. It looked like a child had painted it on. Tugging down my top I rolled over to stare at the plain blue wall.

Eventually Adam gave up and left. Finally realising that I wasn't going to share and he wasn't going to push me to. After hearing the door click closed I got of the bed and ran some warmish water into the mini sink and looked into the mirror above it. Blood covered the right side of my face and was matted into my hair. Underneath it my face was pale and dull and had a greyish tint to it. Not the best look I'd ever had. I thought and smiled a little to my self. After washing the majority of the blood from my hair and face I stripped of the bed. The blood had soaked through the pillow case and onto the pillow so I placed it in the bin. When Adam came back I was ready to go.

He was a bit taken back that I had cleaned up and was ready and waiting to go and just held the door open for me to exit but before I even got to the door my head felt light and I swayed on my feet. My eyes had clouded and for a second I was sure that I was falling but then there was Adam with his strong, warm arms holding me up.

Adam kept his arm around my waist bearing almost all of my weight as we made our way through the hospital we got a couple of strange looks from co-workers but none of them stopped us. Finally we were at his car and I was allowed to relax into the seat.

"Kirsty, I don't think I can take you home." I turn to look at him in disbelief, "I mean look at you, you should stay here where you can get prober medical help. Where I can help you, I'm sure Warren and Nita would want you to look after your self."

"No, please I'm fine. It's nothing a little sleep won't cure." I tried to sound light hearted but he looked unconvinced.

"Does Warren know; about the bruises?" This almost made me laugh. I wanted to scream of course me bloody knows, he caused them but I held it in and shook my head and looked down at my hands not wanting to lie to him.

"Don't you think he should?" Again I shook my head.

"I think we should go back inside and get you probably looked at." He said touching my arm as comfort but I shook it of.

"No please, please just take me home. Warren will take care of me." I was at the point I was ready to beg and it showed clearly in my voice. This wasn't I lie Warren would take care of me just not in the way that Adam thought he would.

Adam nodded but was clearly not happy with the decision but still he pulled of and headed in the direction of my house.

"Adam," I didn't quite know what to say. How could I ask him to make it look like Tess forced him to take me home with out him being suspicious? "Warren doesn't like me hanging around with guys too much." I paused gathering my thoughts to carry on, "could you say that Tess told you to bring me home because I'm not well." We pulled up out side my house and he turn to look into my eyes.

"Okkay," Adam drew out the word to show his confusion but he still turned and slipped out of the car and around to the passenger door will out a word.

We hobbled up the front steps, Adam knocked on the door and we waited for Warren to open the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Kirsty **

Warren opened the door. He glanced quickly back and forth between me, Adam and his arm holding me steady before taking in my appearance and the presents of Adam.

"Kirsty, are you ok?" he step towards me putting his hand under my chin and lifting my face to the light.

"You look pale. Lets get you inside." He stood back allowing Adam and I into the house but I felt my self slip, my head becoming heavy. I was unable to hold my self up any longer. My legs fell out from underneath me and I leant into Adam for support. My head was spinning, everything blurred but I managed to stumble, with help, over to the sofa. I lay down looking up into Warren's eyes. He was sat next to me with one of his hands resting on my head with his thumb stroking my cheek to anyone this was a loving act from a husband to his wife but not to me. I gave him a small smile never taking my eyes from his then closed them willing sleep to take over. It did almost immediately.

**Adam**

We had just about made it into the hall before Kirsty lost all her strength and I basically carried her over to the sofa. To me it seemed amazing that she had made it this far but then again I shouldn't be, when Kirsty sets her mind to something it gets done. I was worrying, firstly about her injuries and then about the fact she was completely close of and refused to talk about how she got them but I had brought her home. The place where she so desperately wanted to be and to see how much Warren loved and cared for Kirsty was over whelming.

I wanted to be the one who was there for her but if I couldn't be then I was comforted by the fact she had Warren; He obviously loved her very much and would take good care of her. I always thought something was amiss with Kirsty's home life because she was always tired but just now she had fallen straight to sleep not even looking away from Warren before closing her eyes. I was so unlike last week when I had sat with her whilst she fell asleep. Then she seemed scared to close her eyes and kept opening them to check I was still there. That was the day I first met Warren.

It was only a week ago but I had thought about this meeting a lot. I thought something wasn't right between the pair. I've spent ever spare second trying to work out what was wrong and why she looked to scared and vulnerable sometimes but now sat in her house drinking coffee with her husband and daughter while she sleeps soundly on the sofa in the next room I can see her life is not far from perfect.

Her daughter had arrived home from school about half an hour ago bouncing in telling us all about her day. The three of us sat around the table drinking tea and munching on biscuits telling funny stories about school. Warren told us some great ones about Kirsty it seems she hasn't changed much since then and it was wonderful to hear because it made me feel like I knew her that little bit more. Then my mind wondered back to what Kirsty had said in the car. The whole journey in between here and the hospital had been silent apart from her one request.

"Nita why don't you go up stairs and get started on your homework." Warren instructed Nita. She agreed reluctantly and kissed her mum before heading up the stairs.

Warren then turned to me. All hints of our earlier light hearted conversation gone and in its place was concern.

"What happened? To Kirsty I mean, she was fine this morning before she left for work."

"Well, I'm not initially sure, to tell you the truth." I paused remembering Kirsty's earlier request, "She had a nasty cut on her head which needed stitches. Tess told me to bring her home because she wasn't well enough to make it by her self, which she wasn't. What ever happen she hasn't told anyone and it's got everyone worried."

"But she's ok. She'll be alright. She'll talk to me. She will won't she?" He was seriously worried and I couldn't help thinking how sweet it was. It was good to know she had someone else looking out for her, someone else who cared for her as much as I did and that he would be there for her when I couldn't be he would look after her at home and I would look after her at work.

Warren was staring at me. I was so sure that he could see the love in my eyes. I looked down at my watch.

"Well I better be of. Got a date with the girl friend and don't want to be late." I don't know why I said it, but I was so sure he could see straight though my words into my heart that I just had to cover it with something.

Before either of us could act on what I'd just said we heard whimpering coming from the living room. Warren was up and at Kirsty's side before I even realised the noises where made by her.

He was leaning over her stroking her arm whilst whispering comforting words into her ear when I made it to the door.

"Is she ok?" I asked concernedly. Kirsty was still asleep, but she looked distressed. She was whimpering, saying no repeatedly and her head was moving erratically. Warren was reacting like this was all normal. He didn't look concerned or worried he just comforted her like this happened regularly.

"Yer, it's just a dream."

"That's one hell on a dream,"

"She's had them as long as I've known her; but they've been more frequent recently."

"What are they about?"

He paused looking down at Kirsty as if deciding whether to tell me or not.

"When she was five; she witnessed her parent's murder."

I just looked at them both in shock. What are you meant to say to that?

Then the dream took a turn for the worse. Kirsty started screaming and bolted up-right sweat beading on her forehead. Warren swiftly pulled her into a hug rocking them both back and forth still whispering to her while she cried freely into his chest.

I felt like I was imposing on a private moment between the two of them and looked around nervously. Spying Nita sitting at the top of the stairs I went to join her.

She looked up-set.

"You alright?" I asked taking a seat beside her.

"Yer, just don't like seeing mum like this."

"I'm sorry, does it happen a lot?" I couldn't help but find out more. I wanted to know everything about her, especially after this latest revelation. I wanted to know her every bit of her.

I looked across at Nita she had gone quiet. She looked so much like her mother I could help but feel like I knew her a little too. It made me want to help her she looked so sad. Warren hadn't looked like this about Kirsty's nightmare. Maybe they tried to protect Nita from it so she never saw her mother like this.

"It's ok; you don't have to say anything about it. We can just sit." We could still hear the crying coming from the lounge. The door was open and I could see Warren and Kirsty. Kirsty was shaking and struggling to stop her sobs probably aware that Nita was home. It was breaking my heart. My stomach was tied in knots, I was jealous. I wanted to be the one comforting her and holding her.

"Is my mum going to be ok?" she looked up at me her soft brown eyes mimicking the same expression as worried Kirsty.

"It's just been a rough day for her. After some sleep she'll be a lot better." We sat in silents for about a minuet.

"She doesn't sleep. She thinks I don't know but she gets so cranky, especially towards dad. He's tried to explain but it doesn't make it alright."

Kirsty, cranky, that's defiantly not a word I would have ever described her as. I've never seen Kirsty anything like cranky. She's feisty, bubbly, caring sometimes even a force of nature but never cranky but I didn't want to admit I didn't know Kirsty that well after all.

After that we fell into silents. We sat side by side at the top of the stairs both thinking are separate thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Nita**

Why had dad just lied to Adam? Why had he said something so appalling? Adam wasn't just never going to ask mum about it. I barely even believe what I heard; I must have heard wrong. My dad couldn't have just said that. Why would he say that? What about mum she had to see Adam everyday. How was mum going react when she found out what dad had just said to her friend? She's going to be mad. Dad must have had a reason for saying what he did. He wouldn't just make it up if he didn't have a reason.

I tried to keep telling myself that there must be a reason for what my dad had said to Adam but every time I thought about it there was never a good enough excuse for what he said.

Mum had finally drifted back off to sleep after Adam had left. She had been sleeping deeply now all evening and all the way though the night. I was now getting ready for school and she showed no signs of waking yet. Dad had stayed up late last night watching over her and had fallen sleep behind her on the sofa his arms wrapped around her waist holding her close. It's so nice to see them like this. Normally mum is sniping at dad but this is what it must be like when they sleep or are in their room together. Grabbing my backpack I kissed both my parents, pulled the blanket to cover their exposed arms and headed to school.

**Kirsty **

I woke to find I was on the sofa. I could feel Warrens warm body pressed up against mine. I was relaxed. For the first time in ages I was actually relaxed with Warren next to me and even touching me. It was like old times and I let my self believe he had never done all those things to me. He loved me, he was my husband and I was his wife and everything was perfect. We had Nita I had my job and even Warren "illness" didn't stop us being happy and perfect. I snuggle into Warren letting my dream continue. Maybe everything would change now. He would apologise and be sorry and it would never happen again.

Of course I knew better but this moment was everything I'd wished for. I always longed for affection from him. Although I didn't want to admit it, I was always wanting him to tell me he loved me but most of the time I was scared to touch him. Scared how he would reach to my touch and scared if I didn't touch him enough. Either way could end up being punished. I must have drifted back of because the next thing I knew I felt warren's arms tighten around me and him plant a kiss just behind my ear.

"Mornin, how you feeling?" He was the old Warren again, at least for now.

"Better thanks. Do you want a coffee?"

"No, you're resting, I'll get them." I smiled, he cared, he really cared. Warren climbed over me and walked into the kitchen. I popped the telly on as he came back holding two orange juices.

"Sorry I haven't brought a new kettle yet," he looked ashamed. It was the only bit of remorse I'd seen from him since we moved here and my heart nearly broke.

"It's perfect," I smiled and patted the space next to me on the sofa. Maybe thing were going to be better after all.

We spent the morning huddled under the blanket on the sofa watching day time telly mostly loose women. It was pretty awful and defiantly not something I would choose to watch but I was just glad to be laying in my husbands arms his head resting on mine. It was so far from our normal life and I was savouring every second of it. I still wasn't convinced it was real.

Again I fell to sleep and when I woke again I was alone. The house was dark and silent. I was wrapped in a blanket and there was a pillow under my head. Then I thought of the mornings events and they played though my mind. I was unsure if it was a dream or not. I stood carefully noticing how weak I felt and headed towards the kitchen. I was surprised to see Warren had cleared up from tea with the remains drying next to the sink. He never cleaned. I looked up at the clock it was two am. Time for bed, even after sleeping most of the day I was still tiered and couldn't wait to get into bed. I was a little apprehensive at first but then remembered the way Warren had been with me today and crawled carefully under the covers to join him.

**Nita**

The next couple of days were wonderful. We spent the weekend together as a family. Mum and dad didn't fight once. I got to hear stories from before I was born and when I was little. The whole time we chatted mum and dad were smiling and laughing about the good old times. They were the happiest I'd seen them in a long time.

Before I knew it, it was Sunday evening and the weekend was over. Mum still wasn't well, she had spent most of the weekend drifting in and out of sleep either on the sofa or in bed. Even though it had been a great weekend I was worried. When mum got ill she would pull out her hoodie and joggers and still be up and about in the house doing chores and cooking meals but dad was doing that now. He even went out especially to get chocolate cake for pudding.

This time was different though, she was exhausted and yet all she seemed to be doing was sleeping and I still hadn't had chance to talk to mum or dad about what dad had said to Adam and it kept playing on my mind. It couldn't be true but I had never meet mum's family and she never talked about them but she had confided in me one time telling me that they had disowned her the second they found out she was pregnant with me. She told me how hard it had been on her with her family turning their back on her like that but she wouldn't have changed it for the world because it gave her me and dad and we were her life.

**Adam**

I'd been thinking of Kirsty most of the weekend. I knew we both had the time off and I couldn't help thinking how she was spending hers. My thoughts also drifted to the events of last week and pacifically what warren had told me. No wonder Kirsty found it difficult to sleep. I did after Harry's death but she was only five when she witnesses her parent's murder. Where as Harry's death was an accident. It was sad to think that Kirsty couldn't share that part of her life with me. My thoughts were interrupted by my pager going off. Seems I wasn't going to get my full weekend to my self after all, probably for the best. I would only spend it thinking of Kirsty and what she was doing.

The ED was crazy. Probably the busiest I've ever seen it. Tess had even tried phoning Kirsty to come in but she hadn't answered. I explained that she really wasn't well and that she probably wouldn't be in for a couple more days. She looked suspicious but went with it anyway.

**Nita **

I woke to find my mum sitting crossed legged behind me on my bed, her back leaning against the wall.

"Hey sweetheart, sleep well?" she looked tiered and was still pale even for my mum.

"Yer," I sat up and gave her a hug and she smiled, holding on to me tightly.

"I love you darling."

"I love you too mum. How are you feeling?"

"Better, a lot better. We better get moving or we'll be late." I looked at her, she couldn't be serious. That's when I noticed the deep purple bruising on her cheek. I hadn't seen it before because it was on the cheek furthest from me and was covered in make-up.

"What happened?" I asked anxiously, moving my hand up to touch her swollen cheek. She winced away from my tough.

"I just got dizzy last night and caught it on one of the kitchen chairs." I looked at her. She still wasn't at all well, "its nothing, really." She added.

"You not going to work today are you?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be and if I'm not careful I'll be late and so will you." I just looked at her in disbelieve. I knew there was no point in trying to talk her out of it she had her mind made up.

**How did Kirsty bruise her cheek? Accident? I think not. How's Kirsty going to explain to Adam? Will he finally get the truth from her? **

**Thank to anyone who's reviewed. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Kirsty**

"Don't you like chocolate cake anymore?" I whipped round to face Warren - which made me feel dizzy - his face filled with anger and hate.

I didn't know what to do. I was frozen, knowing that whatever I did it was going to end the same way; but still I couldn't help looking for the little loop hole that would magically calm Warren down, knowing full well it didn't exist. My mind raced what do I do? but nothing seemed to be the right option. I could only hope for the best. Not to answer or fight back just let it happen and it will be over quicker. Hopefully this way he would be less brutal.

"I asked you a question." He spat. I started shaking as he strode closer to me leaning over me menacingly wait for a reply.

"I-I- I'm still not feeling great. I'm sorry." I whimpered, hearing just how pathetic I sounded.

Smack my head hit the kitchen tiles. Warren had kicked my legs out from underneath me and drove on top of me pinning my arms to my sides and me to the floor. Struggling furiously I tried to break free from his hold but it was useless I felt frail and tiered he was too strong for me even when I was at my best.

He fist crashed into my cheek first, immediately bringing tears to my eyes. They quickly fell and were replaced by more as the burning pain spread though my skin, deep into the bone. My mouth was open gasping for air, my vision blurred with tears. Then he started stuffing something in my mouth. I tried to spit it out but he cruelly but his hand over my mouth forcing me to swallow. The second I swallowed there was more in my mouth hastily followed by his hand forcing me to swallow. This was repeated until the whole slice of cake was gone.

He got up. Standing over me he glared down, his piercing eyes surveying the damage. Spit flew down at me and I heard the kitchen door close. I was relieved it was over. I was alone. Gagging I raced to the bin reaching just in time as I threw-up. I felt discussing. My stomach was long empty but I was still gagging I couldn't help it; it repulsed me to think of how he had forced me to eat.

I curled up on the kitchen floor not being able to go up-stairs and be close to Warren and finally sleep took me.

I woke again on the kitchen floor. In some ways I was glad, my body wasn't throbbing in pain (there was my cheek but that was nothing, not really) only the slight whispering of old injuries and if I woke up down here then I knew I hadn't been touched. Well not in some ways anyway. But then I recalled what had taken place. Warren had never treated me in that particular way before. It seemed some kind of new low. It was so humiliating being fed that way. I always expect to be hit and I can't say I was surprised when he started forcing himself on me, after all I am his wife but this was different I expected those but using food made me feel like a helpless child. I can't even explain what made this so bad after all it was only food, nothing like the pain of getting laid into. I'd lost control of another part of my life. I couldn't even control what I ate now. If he wasn't happy he would just make me eat whatever he wanted. All I wanted to do was curl up in the corner and never come out again but of course I couldn't Nita would be up for school soon and there was no way I was sticking around the house.

**Adam**

Surprised was an understatement of what I was feeling when I saw Kirsty walk through the ED doors. She was back at work already. She should still be resting however I couldn't help being pleased to see her. She looked a lot better than a couple of days ago the bounce was back in her step and the colour back in her cheeks. I stood smiling foolishly in her direction hoping that she would glance in my direction, if only for a second.

I had no doubts that Kirsty did have feelings for me although I didn't know how far these feelings went. I loved her but did she love me back. I had no-one else to love or to love me, she has a husband and daughter to love and who love her very deeply. After glimpsing into her life I knew I couldn't be the one to destroy their family. They love each other and are happy.

Kirsty confides in Warren, she feels safe with him and is able to open up to him and share a part of her self she won't share with me. I know she feels safe with me but it's not the same. I saw the way she went to sleep with warren compared to the way she went to sleep with me. She didn't trust me as much as him.

Just then the ED doors burst open bringing in a mother and her 4 month old baby.

"Please you've got to help him." She stood helplessly in front of me holding out her child desperately wanting me to save him. I took the baby from her noticing immediately that he wasn't breathing. I panicked a little as images of Harry flashed though my mine. Pulling my self together I rush into rhesus with the baby's mother following just millimetres behind me.

I put him down carefully and started compressions. Jay raced over with the baby resuscitation kit (Sorry don't know what it's actually called) and we quickly got him breathing on his own. The mother was crying with relief.

"What happened?" I asked rapidly, turning to face her.

"I don't know. I just found him like this. He's going to be alright?"

"We're going to run some tests but I looks like we got to him just in time but I am sorry I do have to warn you that because he went with out oxygen for a while he might have suffered some brain damage but we will have to wait and see what the scans show up." The worst part was watching the relief drain from her and the worry take over.

I needed a break. Little James had brought back too many unwanted and suppressed memories. I literally felt like my heart was breaking. It was so difficult to think about him. Imagine what he would be like now, what he would do when he grew up, who he would look more like me or Jess. I couldn't think those things. Those things were the ones that made me want to crawl into bed and never get out again. Kirsty was my saviour. She didn't know it, nor did anyone else. She lit up my life. When she had started working here I was in a bad place, although I was managing to drag my self out of bed every morning my life was empty. Jess and the kids had left a huge black hole behind and nothing seemed to fill it. Then there was Kirsty. At first I don't think she even noticed me. She was so passionate about her job and getting into it with Tess but eventually we became friends and I even managed to persuade her to come out for a drink with me. That night did not go as planned.

I was woken from my thoughts by the staffroom door opening.

We sat together on the sofa nursing our coffees. I looked at Kirsty. She was sat on my right and I could clearly see the bruise on her cheek which was tying to hide under her make-up. I'd been looking at it all day wondering how it got there. It was the catalyst which made me think of her other injuries and I'm sure she had more that she was hiding better than the ones I knew about. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I needed her to talk to me. I had to help her and there was only one place I could think to start.

"Kirsty, I know." She turned to look at me in shock and fear.

"How?" was all she could whisper.

"Warren told me." her scared look was joined by confusion, her brow crinkling slightly.

"He told you." She asked unconvincingly.

"Don't be mad at him. He was just worried. He wants to help you, so do I."

"I can't leave. Nita, I'm doing it all for Nita. She deserves a family." She paused as if only now taking in what I had said. "What; your not going to tell me to leave him. What did he tell you?"

"Kirsty of course I don't want you to leave Warren. I know he betrayed your trust but he only did it to help you. I mean have you even spoken to any one about what happened? It such a traumatic thing to go though and you obviously haven't dealt with it yet. I know it's not quite the same but when Harry died I had to work though a lot of things and I'm still coming to terms with it now." My eyes filled with tears as I remember Harry. James had been too much like him and now I couldn't stop the memories flooding my thoughts.

Two small hands took mine, holding them firmly giving me comfort. I couldn't hold it in any longer and the tears reluctantly fell over my face and into the tangle of hands below. I was looking down not really at anything. When her soft hand reached up and delicately brushed a stray tear.

I looked up my eyes finding hers. They looked so sad. I could still feel her cool hand resting on my hot cheek. She looked like she was going to cry as well. The moment took me, I was wrapped in loss and loneliness but most of all love, suppressed love, I didn't think I just leaned in.

**Thanks for reviewing. So what do you thing kiss or no kiss? **


	8. Chapter 8

**Adam**

She didn't pull back as I pressed my lips gently against hers, lingering for a moment. Our lips were touching, hers were soft and warm and I never wanted them to leave mine. I tried to memorize the feeling before they parted savouring every precious second. Her hand had moved to my face cupping it lovingly. Mine had moved around her waist and pulled her closer to me. She was like a drug I couldn't get enough of her, every touch left me wanting more.

Kirsty was the one to deepen the kiss, our lips and tongues caressing one another giving each other exactly what the other wanted. We lost our self in each other. It was perfect.

Kirsty was also the one to pull away from the kiss first and for a second we just gazed into each others eyes, everything else in the world forgotten. That was before Jay walked though the door reminding us that our break was long over.

**Kirsty**

I'd been home two minuets before Warren appeared at the kitchen door. He didn't look happy but I carried on preparing dinner because Nita was home and they would both want feeding.

"Have a good day?" he asked leaning in the doorway.

"Busy, you?" I asked with my back to him getting the sauce out of the fridge to top the pasta.

"Are you too busy to even talk to me now?"

"Warren please Nita will want her tea soon."

"She's staying at her friends for tea. You really don't care do you? She told you this morning but you didn't even listen to her. You ignore our daughter like she's nothing to you. Your job is more important than her. You're an awful mother, no wonder she say what she does about you."

"No, of course it's not I love Nita of course I do she's my daughter." I try to defend my self but I knew he was right. I'm a bad mother it's not that I don't try I really do but it's just never enough. There aren't enough hours in the day to fit everything in and I admit she does fall by the wayside. But he's wrong I do care I love her more than anything that's why I stay. So she can have a family. A punch hitting my stomach broke me from my thoughts and I doubled over in pain.

Punch after punch crashed into me all of them blurring together. I could feel my battered body bruising further, several of them erupting on top of old ones. The pain becoming too much I felt myself slipping away. He stopped. Grabbing me by my hair he pulled me up off the floor towards him, his eyes dancing with anger. He let go of my hair, one of his arm wrapped around my waist holding me tightly up against him. With his free hand moved the cooking pasta of the hob. As he did so he spilt some water out of the pan and steam burst upwards as it hit the scolding hot metal circle.

"Please don't do this." I pleaded with him realising where he was going from here. He just sneered at me enjoying my fear. I managed to break free but only for a second. My arm was in his hand like a piece of wood trapped in a vice before I'd even taken a step. Pulling away was useless his fingers just dug in deeper. I knew it would bruise but that was the last thing on my mind. I stopped struggling. I stood as far from him as our two arm lengths would allow. He knew I couldn't get away and he loved it.

We stood looking into each others faces, his sneering he knew he had all the power and mine terrified knowing I had none. I knew what he was going to do and I couldn't stop him. I was almost crying, silent sobs echoing though my body he could feel me shaking under his grip giving him exactly what he wanted and it just made him cackle at me.

Making his move he pulled my arm towards him. I tried to plant my heels in but me efforts were unrewarded as my arm was thrust onto hob. At first the pain didn't hit me but as soon as it did it was unbearable. I was screaming and struggling with everything I had left but still he didn't release me.

I woke yet again on the kitchen floor. This was happening more regularly than not. The burning pain speeded up my arm driving me insane. I couldn't think the pain was too much. The smell of burning flesh hung thickly in the air. I grabbed the bin empty heaving into it. I hadn't eaten since the incident with Warren and the chocolate cake two days ago. It's not that I hadn't tried but every time I thought of food the images replayed in my mind and I couldn't face it. I wasn't a big eater anyway. I barely found time at work and when I got home there were chores, Warren and Nita to tend to.

I looked down at my arm I knew I had to get seen to. The burn was a semi circle covering the outside of my right fore arm. It looked deep most likely a second degree burn and the pain was immense, which made me dizzy and I knew I had to get it seen to so that it wouldn't get infected. I stood up my feet weak underneath me. I looked at the clock I had a couple of hours till I had to be at work. I crept up stairs not wanting to wake anyone and found my first aid kit in the bathroom cupboard. I pulled out a roll of bandaging and wound it around my arm breathing heavily though the pain.

After a quick change of clothes I was in the car heading towards the hospital. The traffic was awful great I was going to be late again and I wondered about turning around.

**Adam**

It was a quiet day in ED nothing much had happened. We'd had the usual in but nothing major. Kirsty was late as usual but it was ten minuets into her shift so I was expecting her to sneak though the doors anytime now.

Jorden burst though the doors

"Meeting in the staffroom for everybody, now," he said urgently.

We filed in speculating about what was going on. I glanced around the staffroom, still no Kirsty.

"We have major incoming; a bomb has gone off at St James and all emergency patients will be directed here. We will also be receiving most of their more urgent patients whilst those who are fit to travel are going to other hospital further away. We will also be taking on their staff to help with the increased number of patients so I hope you will make them feel welcome and help them find their bearings. It will be a tuff shift but I trust you will all conducted your selves in a professional manner. That is all."

It was the quiet before the storm. Beds had been cleared and we stood waiting out side for the ambulances to arrive.

It had been over three hours since the first of the bomb blast patients had come crashing though the doors. They were followed by wave after wave and there seemed to be no end. The fire service had finally reached the more injured patients which where trapped in the rubble of St James's and they were coming in slowly one by one. They were more injured than the others and most were directed straight into rhesus apparently there was only one more patient left to be brought over. They were the one who was nearest to the blast and who had survived but were thought to be in bad shape.

I'd heard vivid descriptions all morning about the wreckage. Exactly how much of the hospital had been destroyed and dozens of guesses of how many people had died. The blast had blown though a whole ward killing everyone in there. It then spread though neighbouring wards killing most of the patients and staff in those wards as well. After the explosion was over walls, floors and ceilings collapsed leaving a pile of rubble where the hospital once stood.

The ED doors flung open revealing a blood and dust covered nurse walking long side a gurney with two paramedic, who I'd never seen before.

"This is Kirsty Willow. Trapped in the wreckage for almost four hours she's a fighter, suspected wrist fractures and deep laceration to the lower right abdomen also treatment for a pneumothorax."

"Ok straight though to rhesus," I say leading the way.

I directed the gurney into a bay and was about to do OBs when the young nurse pulled me to one side.

"Kirsty's a domestic abuse case. She won't admit it but she's been in about a dozen times in the last six months with injures all connected to someone beating the crap out of her but today was different someone actually held her arm onto an electric hob. It's getting worse and I'm scared if we let her slip though the net again then she'll be going straight down stairs next time we see her."

I looked over at her still body, immediately feeling sorry for this woman.

"Hi Kirsty I'm doctor Trueman, can you… Kirsty." I stopped surely my eyes where playing a cruel trick on me this wasn't my Kirsty laying in front of me. It couldn't be. Abused no it's not her I would have known but I couldn't deny it, it was her.

"Do you know her?" I turned to the nurse my eyes welling with tears. I nodded then some how managed to find my voice.

"She's a nurse here; her names Kirsty Clements." She looked shocked. Jay came in ready to order tests and stopped in his tracks upon hearing this last sentence.

"No, it can't be you've got it wrong. It's not her. Why would she be a St James's? She's meant to be here on shift now."

I couldn't lose her so set about saving her life with Jay's help. News quickly spread though the ED and we were soon joined by Tess and Jordan. I'd asked the nurse if she would keep quiet about the suspected abuse but I knew it was true. I'd seen the bruises. I'd witnessed her fear but one thing that didn't add up was she didn't seem to be scared around Warren. Maybe it was all for show and she was that good at hiding it but something made me doubt it. I'd seen them together and I couldn't see that as a possibility. I would have known if it was him. I'm a doctor but I'm also her friend and I would just know.

"How's she doing?" Tess's voice came from behind me.

"It's not looking good." I turned not believing what Jordan had just said.

"She's going to be fine." I spoke rather aggressively but there was no other option she just had to be. I couldn't lose her.

**Is Kirsty going to be ok? How far will Adam go to find out who Kirsty's abuser is? What will Warren do when faced with all the accusations? Thanks for reviewing it's great to hear that your liking it. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Kirsty **

I sat in the car out side St James's wondering whether to go in. I'd been here so many times since we moved here, there was this one nurse her name was Emily who was watching out for me. She knew what was going on. She had guessed and every time I was in she was there trying to get me to open up. She wanted me to leave, to get away from whoever was hurting me and she wanted me to press charges. She had no idea that I was married or that I had a daughter because I gave her my maiden name Willow.

I ditched my wedding rings, leaving them in the glove box, took a couple of breath to steady my self and walked into St James's.

"Kirsty," great! I turn to face Emily. She stood in front of me in her light blue scrubs her sleek honey coloured hair pulled into a tidy pony tail. She studied me worriedly wondering what I'm in for this time. I smile nervously.

"I had an accident with the hob. It's alright, I was just wondering if you could take a quick look." She looked sceptical.

"Follow me." she said sadly leading the way to cubicles. I sighed and followed her checking my watch, an hour till I had to be at work. I sat up on the bed and removed my jacket to reveal my makeshift bandage. It was still burning intensely and I sharply pulled my arm back when Emily went to touch it. Taking more deep breaths I unwound the bandage from my arm and revealed my injury to her.

She looked shocked and I couldn't help shifting nervously under her disapproving gaze. She could see that this was no accident and I couldn't be bothered to make up a story so I sat, looking at the floor in silents waiting for her to act. I'd had patients like me before. They were the ones you wanted to shake some sense into. I knew what I was, she felt sorry for me because I wasn't strong enough to leave but really she didn't understand she had never been in my situation. She'd never met the wrong side of Warren. She didn't have a daughter to think of.

I was becoming restless I had to be a work in 20 minuets and Emily still hadn't come back to dress my arm. Giving up I gathered up my things deciding to just do it myself in holby.

"Where are you going?"

"Emily, I've got to get to work I can't be late." I say still moving to wards the door.

"Kirsty please, let me dress it at least and then you can go. If it gets infected." I cut across her knowing exactly what she was going to say.

"Yes I know, please can we make it quick."

"Ok, but I want you to come back after work so I can take a prober look at you."

"I'm fine it's just the arm." I kept my voice steady even though I wanted to scream. I looked at her not wanting to commit to anything.

"I-I can't. I've got stuff to do." I said earning a disappointed look. I sigh, I felt bad I didn't want to put this on her she was just trying to help me but I couldn't leave and I defiantly couldn't have anybody know. She led me back to cubicles, mine was on the far wall furthest from the exit. Probably so it's harder for me to slip out.

"Do you have anyone to talk to? At work or a family member."

"Talk to about what. I'm fine my, life is fine, everything is fine. Can you just drop it?" I snap not meaning to and immediately feeling guilty. I slump my shoulder and try and hold in the tears.

"I'm sorry," I mumble looking into my lap. She sat down beside me talking my hands in hers.

"Don't be. I know you don't want to admit it, not yet anyway but someone's hurting you and you need help even if it's just somebody to listen to you."

"Please stop, I know all of it. I've heard it all before. Talking never helps its not going to change anything. I can't just up and leave he would never let me. I came to terms with that fourteen years ago I just wish other people would as well."

"Fourteen years! come on Kirsty you can't let this carry on. It's getting worse I've seen it and I'm sure you have to."

"Can you just fix my arm up please." I cut my self off. This conversation was only hurting me it would do no good.

She sighed, stood up and reached for the cream and protective plastic to stop my arm becoming infected.

**Emily**

Kirsty was back again. She had showed me her arm but kept the rest of her body concealed. I wasn't stupid I knew if I looked I would find all kinds of bruises and scars covering her but I knew she wouldn't let me. Whenever she came in she was always very tight lipped, only ever really giving her name.

Today was worse, whoever it was hurting her had held her arm onto the hob giving her second degree burns. What worried me most was the way she acted, she was so calmly about it, it made me want to shake her until she came to her senses. I knew I didn't have much of a chance of getting though to her but I had to try. Her injures were getting worse every time she came in and I was scared that one day soon I would see her heading straight down stairs to the morgue.

I thought I was getting somewhere but I had pushed her too far and she had firmly put her guard in place. I wish there was more I could do but she wouldn't let me so I sighed and went to treat her arm.

The ground shook underneath us. We heard the explosion as it rippled around us. Kirsty grabbed me and roughly shoved me crouching into the corner pushing the bed against the wall covering my head. This took all of a second and I was so shocked I didn't have time to react. Then the ceiling caved in sending rubble and dust flying everywhere.

There was a moment of silents and stillness before the sound of screams could be heard around me. There was dust everywhere filling my lungs leaving me sputtering for breath. Kirsty, I scrambled out from under the bed and was met by the ceiling. It was connected from the top of one of the wall I was against but instead of being held in place by another wall it was now on the floor trapping me. I looked around panicked I was trapped. Rubble had fallen all around and created nothing more than a little air bubble which if I tried to get out could collapse at anytime.

I heard a small raspy intake of breath before a weak cough filled the bubble, Kirsty. I navigated my way over the rubble towards her she was buried but I could make out her head and arm, both were covered in blood and dirt.

"Kirsty, its ok I'm here can you hear me?" my voice was shaky and I took her hand in one of mine then stroked her hair with the other trying to comfort the woman who had probably just saved my life.

"Emily?" she questioned rather than knowing it was me.

"Yes hunny, I'm here where does it hurt?" She gave a little smile to this question.

"It would be easier for you to ask me where it doesn't hurt." She said making an effort to sit up. It then truck me just how strong she was. She was probably seriously injured and she was getting up like nothing had happened. How much violence was she met with at home?

"I'm trapped." She panicked her shallow breathing becoming unsteady as she started pulling at the debris on top of her.

"Calm down, its ok, help will be coming soon." I talk to her as I start moving the fallen hospital off her. There where two beams pinning her down, luckily they weren't too heavy. The larger one was on top of her left arm whilst the smaller one was across her torso. No wonder her breathing was shallow. I tried to move the beam off her torso but it was too heavy so I started looking around for something to use as a leaver. Kirsty's legs where still buried so I started shifting what was on top of them looking for something I could use. Finally I found another piece of wood that was big enough that it wouldn't break.

It worked and Kirsty managed to wriggle out from underneath it. God knows how. Her arm was still trapped I was sure she has broken ribs and I noticed a deep gash on her lower abdomen that was bleeding freely. I pulled off my scrub top and used it to try and stop the bleeding.

"Hold this." I instructed. She did as she was told and held the top tightly to her wound. I then went to free her arm. This beam was quiet a bit heaver than the last one and as much as I tried I could move it.

"It's ok, just leave it. Are you ok." Her breathing was still short and laboured.

"Kirsty you saved my life. I haven't got a scratch on me." She smiled again.

"Good, you're a good person."

"So are you no matter what anybody tells you. I'm living proof of it. Most people wouldn't have done what you did today."

"You don't know me; I'm not a good person." I stopped her there. It was heart breaking to hear her talk that way about herself and I was trying to hold back the tears.

"I know enough. You're amazing, you protect someone who hurts you everyday. You're incredibly strong and annoyingly loyal and stubborn."

"Stop please." She was obviously uncomfortable with compliments so I did.

"Emily, tell me about your life?" This could be a good way to get though to her.

"Ok but I want to know about yours in return." I didn't wait for a reply, "I live with my flat mate Jenny. I started nursing about ten years ago. I love it I never wanted to do anything else. Ever since I was three I wanted to be a nurse. We were both smiling. I used to go everywhere in my nurses costume. Most of my childhood photos are of me dressed as a nurse."

"I never had that drive or direction when I was little. It drove my parents mad especially when it came to picking my GCSE's I was hopeless, no idea what I wanted to do. I spent my time handing cutting classes and hanging around with boys."

"How'd that turn out for you?"

"Not bad, I've got a career I love. My parents disowned me for dropping out of school and haven't spoken to me since but I've got a long term boyfriend."

"I just spilt from my long term boyfriend John. We been going out for three years when I found out he was cheating on me, but that's nothing compared to fourteen years." I'd found my way in and I wasn't going to let to go.

"Emily, I'm not feeling good."

"It's ok, help will be here soon." I had no idea how long it was going to take for help to arrive I didn't know what state the rest of the hospital was in. It could be hours before they reached us. If they even knew we were alive.

Kirsty was falling in and out of consciousness despite my best efforts to keep her awake. She was unconscious when I heard movement coming from out side our bubble. The screams had long since gone and we had been left in silents. I had tried calling out but after what seemed like hours of no reply I had given up.

"HELP, WE'RE IN HERE." I screamed as loud as I could manage.

"WE'RE GETTING TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE BUT IT'S TAKING A WHILE TO MOVE ALL THE RUBBLE." A male voice yelled back.

"I'M GOING TO NEED A FIRST AID KIT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. MY FRIEND IS BADLY INJURED."

"WE'LL SEE AS ONE IS READY."

"THANKS." After that I listened to the noises of them moving rubble. They where getting closer and closer. I kept checking Kirsty's pulse. Even though I could see her chest moving up and down I was checking to see if it was holding steady, which it seemed to be doing. Thank god.

Finally they reached us, shortly followed by paramedics. We were given hard hats to wear. They removed the beam from Kirsty's arm then moved her onto a stretcher. It was wonderful to feel the bitter wind tearing at my face and I took a second to be thankful for my freedom and my life before climbing into the back of the ambulance which Kirsty was in.

**This turned out longer than I thought. Thank you so much for reviewing. Hope you like it. I'm going to see if I can bring Jessica back in a couple of chapter's time. Any other suggestions are welcome. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Adam **

"Could some one call Warren, her husband, please?" I hated to admit Kirsty was not looking good.

"She has a husband?" Emily questioned.

"Yes and a daughter. They both love her very much just like she loves them."

"I'm sure," she sounded sceptical I knew why and it really got to me.

"Its not him." It sounded harsher than it was meant to.

"Have you seen her? There's no way he doesn't know. She covered in bruises, scars and now there's the burn. She couldn't hide it from him, no way."

"You haven't seen them together. She completely trusts him."

"Really, if she completely trusted him why hasn't she told him and if she has then why hasn't it stopped?" The more I listened to Emily the more I thought it was Warren. She was right there was no way he could miss her injures. I hadn't and I didn't live with her but all I could think about was Warren holding Kirsty after her nightmare.

"She's had it tuff; did she tell you about her parents?"

"Yes she did but that's got nothing to do with this."

"Watching your parent's murder would affect every part of your life."

"Wait did you just say parents murder? Her parents weren't murdered they disowned her when she dropped out of school. I'm guessing because she was pregnant."

"What, Kirsty told you that?"

"Yes, who told you that her parents were murdered? Actually I can guess, it was her husband wasn't it." She was telling me rather than questioning me. I was shocked. He couldn't have made that up, could he?

The more I spoke to Emily the more I questioned Warren. The more I considered him the more it seemed to fit, in most parts anyway.

Now it had been a couple of hours since Emily brought Kirsty in. Kirsty was now stable and but had been sedated. She hadn't spoken the whole time she had been awake just stared up at the ceiling and I wondered if she was even ware of what was going on around her. We had all spoke to her trying to get her to speak but no one had got so much as one word from her.

**Kirsty **

They knew, they all knew. Warren was going to kill me and that was an understatement. Normally we would be moving right this second but I was stuck, unable to move, unable to warn him. But I felt so guilty, I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay here. Nita had great friends here and so did I. It was something I'd never had before not even as a child. I was a lonely only-child with only my imaginary friend Daisy for company. I didn't want that for Nita. I wanted her to have lots of friends, have a home and a loving stable family. Now that family I'd fought so hard to keep for her was slipping though my fingers.

"Kirsty." I heard my name but made no attempt to answer.

"She's been like this ever since we brought her in. She hasn't said a word were not even sure if she can hear us." Adam's voice.

"Kirsty, darling it's me Warren. Talk to me what happened?" Warren was standing beside me. He had both of his hands resting on the bed but made no attempt to touch me. Knowing I wasn't going to reply Adam stepped in.

"She was at St James's getting some of her injures seen to when a Bomb went of on one of the wards. She was buried in rubble for a couple of hours, when they finally freed her they brought her here."

"Is she going to be ok?"

"Were keeping a close eye on her but none off her injures seem life threatening at the moment." He paused for a second like he was trying to find the best way to tell him. "There is one concern we have though. Kirsty has a lot of other injuries that occurred before this morning." Warren turned taking his gaze of me and onto Adam.

"What do you mean other injuries?" Warren was calm and collected and for a split second I believed him.

"I'm sure you've noticed." Wow, Adam sounded angry, angrier than I've ever heard him before. "Bruising, scaring a massive semi-circle second degree burn, ring any bells." I could imagine Warren's face looking dumb struck and worried. He turned again to face me and studied my body taking in my injures as if for the first time.

"No you're wrong, she's cheating on me, having an affair, not this I would have noticed this. Your lying, it's not true Kirsty wouldn't, she would tell me," and then came the water works. I could see his figure beside me fighting for control over the Oscar winning sobs of "realisation". He'd had this speech ready for sometime I could tell.

"She won't come near me. She doesn't love me anymore. She comes home late all the time but I never say anything. I love her and Nita too much," and with that he couldn't 'control' himself any longer and let out his flood of tears.

I could see that Adam felt sorry for him. He believed him which meant that maybe we could stay. I was going to have so many questions to answer. How the hell was I going to explain the state of my body? I really couldn't so I stayed silent.

**Warren **

Adam made my blood boil. Who was he to talk to me like that? I had managed to control my self from punching his lights out then and there but I don't know how. I knew how bad it would look and it would do nothing to prove my innocents but he made me so angry it would have been worth it. Lucky I had seen all of Kirsty's colleagues examining me and put on the best performance of my life. I knew they were still watching but I'm sure I had managed to remove most of the guilt off me and onto some random stranger. Hopefully now they were watching me with pity. Stupid fools.

Finally Adam left leaving me and Kirsty alone. I sat in the chair beside her, taking her plastered hand in mine. She was still staring at the ceiling and made no attempt to acknowledge me. She had no choice now but to do everything I said.

**Kirsty **

"Finally were alone." He whispered so only I could hear him he was facing away from the door and windows so nobody could tell if he was talking or not.

"Were both going to play our parts, we've got an audience. You're not going to speak to anyone not me, not Nita and defiantly not to Adam. You're traumatised and will only let me comfort you," He then raised his voice and acted like he was just starting to speak.

"Kirsty, will you talk to me?" I carried on staring at the ceiling. "I want to know who did this to you. Why didn't you tell me, I could have helped you, stopped it." He paused for a second lacing his fingers in-between mine. "Please Kirsty talk to me." Still I remained silent playing along to his game. We sat in silents for a couple of minuets before he spoke again.

"I'm going to take Nita down to the cafeteria for a snack I'll be back soon, I promise," and with that he stood up placed a loving kiss on my forehead and turned to leave.

With all my strength I sat up quickly and I reached my throbbing plastered arm out to touch his, making him turn to face me. I had tears in my eyes from the pain but I could make out Tess, Emily, Jay and Adam watching me from the window. Warren swept me into a hug and before I realised what was happening I found my self crying into his arms.

From my side of the glass this was all just for show nothing was real. I didn't know Warren cared. If he wanted to be hugging me or he found me repulsive and that he had to do it to get my friends on his side. But the glass was tainted because when they looked thought it they saw nothing of what my life was really like, what Warren was really like. They saw a loving husband comforting his stupid and weak wife. I didn't know which was worst them knowing that it was him or them thinking that I'd let some random person do this to me and push my husband away. My brain hurt, my body hurt, my heart hurt it was too much, I just cried and cried letting my emotion dance freely into the wind not caring who saw.

I'd work my self up. I couldn't control myself and eventually someone came and took control for me. I was relieved to feel the sedative working taking me away from everything. I welcomed to feeling of peace and drifted of into a medicated sleep.

**Warren**

"Hi, I need a favour. I'll be over in ten. Yes, it's about Kirsty." I flipped my phone closed, found Nita, started the car and left the hospital car park.

**So what's Warren's plan? Who was on the other end of the phone? Thanks for reviewing. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Emily**

"See, there's no way it's him." Adam said as we stood out side Kirsty's window watching the scene between her and her husband unfold.

"Yer but if it's not him, then who is it?" Tess said sounding concerned for her nurse.

"That's it. You've decided it's not him so who else could it be. You've seen her injuries all the x-rays it's been going on years. I would stake my life on it being him."

My point of view didn't go down well. They were all dead set on it not being him but something was amiss. Kirsty's strong, probably the strongest person I know. She always picked up the pieces glued them together the best she could and moved on no thought of herself, she just carried on. I never understood how she managed to do it but when I found out she had a family it all made sense. She had to carry on for her daughter and maybe even her husband.

Kirsty's so strong that her behaviour bewildered me. It was unsettling to watch her like this, silent and vacant. Even in the circumstances I always met Kirsty in she still had a cheeky glint in her eyes, now those eyes where dull and empty and it just seemed so wrong. I'd seen battered women before and Kirsty would kill me for calling her that but none of them where like her. None I'd seen had managed to survive quiet like her, even though she'd slipped slightly over the last couple of months. She was still so ready to smile and have a joke I must have treated her five or six times before I clocked on.

She had an amazing game face and I'm sure that her friends didn't give her enough credit for it. I knew it could easily be her husband. I'd seen her game face up close and personal, and it was amazing. Some of the stories that came so readily to her were astonishing. She was a hard person not to believe; even when you were sure she was lying to you, her game face gave you doubts.

**Adam**

I'd had to sedate Kirsty a couple of hours ago now. She had finally let out her emotions but seemed unable to regain control. She was still weak and her breathing was sharp and laboured. She always gave the impression of being in control which made it even harder for everyone to see her like this. She was acting nothing like the Kirsty we knew, but did we really know her at all.

I'd advised Warren to take Nita go home, eat, sleep and come back refreshed in twelve hours when the sedative wore off. He'd agreed reluctantly knowing he couldn't neglect his daughter. Nita just seemed scared. From the moment she had walked though the doors holding her dad's hand she was quiet and looked close to tears. I tried to reassure her but my words seemed to fall on deaf ears. She was too scared to touch her mum so she just looked at her worriedly from afar.

Warren had also tried to comfort his daughter, after trying to get Kirsty to open up and finding out the devastating truth about what she'd been living though for years, but in the end they left in silents his arm around her shoulders.

**Nita**

I couldn't believe it when dad came and got me out of school. I knew she hadn't looked right this morning I should have made her stay home. I spent the whole journey to the hospital worrying about what has wrong with her, would she be ok? When could she come home? I knew it was bad otherwise dad wouldn't have come and got me, he would have wait till after school.

By the time we arrived I could barely speak. I was so scared, was my mum going to die? When I saw her it just made me feel worse she looked dead. Her eyes where open but they looked dead and I had to keep looking at the heart monitor telling me her heart was still beating. How had so much changed in a few hours? I'd spent my morning in double maths and she'd spent hers fighting for her life. I didn't know why she had been at St James's and no one was willing to tell me.

There had been an explosion she had been trapped. She was stable for now but not out of the woods. I wasn't sure what that meant. Would she be ok? What was I supposed to do? Was I meant to talk to her or pray for her? In the end dad took the decision out of my hands saying that we were going home and would be back before mum woke again.

Something was wrong I could feel it. Everyone was acting weird. Nobody would tell me what mum was doing at St James's in the first place, why she wasn't speaking and why dad was on edge. It didn't make sense I'd only met Adam a couple of times and even I could tell he was acting strangely. What are they keeping from me?

Dad and I got in the car and drove out of the hospital car park. We turned left when we hit the main road. Where were we going?

"I thought we were going home." I asked innocently.

"Your grandma wants to see how your doing." He replied concentrating on the road ahead.

"Grandma, what about mum? I want to go back and sit with her. She needs us with her. Please dad."

"That's enough were going to see Grandma and that's final." He almost shouted in an angry tone. I went rigged in my seat. Dad never spoke to me like that, ever. The only person I'd ever heard him speak to like that was mum after she came in late, tiered and moody, with out bothering to say anything.

He worried about her. I guess everybody did, after seeing them all today hovering outside her door speaking in hushed tones I knew they cared but why where they so worried. Most people were around mum. I presumed she just had something about her. I know sometimes I just want to look after her. Mostly over the past couple of days when she's been zonked out on the sofa. There have been plenty of other times too, she always seemed to have something wrong with her but this weekend had been the worst I'd ever seen and it scared me. She looked so frail and I wondered how she found the strength to get up and go to work today. She had barely touched her food all weekend. I don't think she even noticed. She'd got a lot skinnier over the past couple of weeks maybe a couple of months. She hides it well under baggy clothing but when I hug her I feel the difference. Now, I at fourteen was bigger than my mum. I wasn't fat or anywhere near it, it just she's got so skinny.

We pulled up out side Grandma and Grandpa's house. It was nothing like our house, it was huge, stately home like huge. Apparently we use to live here when I was very little but I don't remember. It was old fashioned but still seemed stylish and elegant at the same time.

Dad lifted the handle of the brass lion knocker and let it fall heavily back into place. Grandma opened the door only a couple of seconds later and smiled concernedly at us both before standing aside and letting us in. We were ushered into the kitchen at the back of the house where I was given a packed of fancy biscuits and left to amuse myself while they disappeared into another part of the house.

**Kirsty**

I jolted awake drenched in a mixture of sweat and tears but kept my eyes closed. I was in bed, I'd managed to fall asleep next to Warren and sleep peacefully up until now. Then my senses kicked in. I wasn't in my bed and there was beeping, a heart monitor, my heart monitor.

I remembered what happened. Shit how was I getting out of this one. I could kill myself for being so stupid, why did I go to St James's? Well I knew why but it didn't stop me from being mad at myself. I opened my eyes to find an anxious Adam studying me from the armchair on my left. I tried to roll over to turn my back to him but was hit with jolts of pain thrashing my body. I gasped deeply then felt that mistake too. I clutched my ribs trying to take small quicker breaths instead.

Adam took my hand and administered more morphine into my drip. I looked up into his warm and comforting eyes, they were full of concern so full I felt the urge to hit and tell him he was being soft but I couldn't. I let out a small sigh and I relaxed a little as the drug took effect. Adam had long since let go of my hand but I was holding on to the feeling of it against mine. I closed my eyes hoping to keep it there for as long a possible but it was no use and eventually I gave up and opened my eyes to the real world. Adam had left and now the chair beside my bed lay empty. I could see Zoe, Emily and Jay on the other side of the room tending to other patients. Wait why was Emily working here? But there was no one to answer my question and even if there was I couldn't ask it, Warren had made that very clear.

The doors burst open causing me to look up from my thoughts to see who had entered.

"Hey little sis. How's it going?" His enthusiastic and energetic voice totally inappropriate for where he was but he wouldn't notice that. I couldn't hide the shock of seeing him. My eyes were wide, what the hell was David doing here?

**So why is David visiting? Is it a concerned visit about his younger 'sister' or has he got something more sinister planed?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Jay**

Kirsty was as shocked as us to see her visitor striding towards her. He seemed unnaturally chirpy for visiting his sick sister in hospital, maybe he hadn't been told the full extent of her injuries. I looked from him to Kirsty and back again trying to work out what kind of relationship they had. I had never heard her talk about her brother before, come to think about it I never heard her talk about any of her family before. In the circumstances it seemed natural that she would want to keep the two very separate, that way there was no conferring behind her back and she couldn't be tripped up by either side. Maybe it was him, I started looking at the pair more deeply, scrutinising every move they made looking for, however tiny, hints that might give the game away relieving it to be him.

She looked nervous but it was the same look she had been supporting since she arrived. Just like everyone else she made no attempt to talk to him and ignored all the questions he asked. He gave up in the end and resolved to sit in the empty arm chair beside her bed and just stare at her.

Zoe and Emily had been having a silent conversation whilst I was studying the pair and I caught the end of it. They had obviously been watching the pair as well but had caught on quicker than me. They gestured for me to follow them out of the room and I followed wondering how we were going to prove it was him.

"What do you think?" Zoe questioned as we came to a halt beside the reception desk.

"What do you think about what?" we were joined by Adam and Tess who had both undoubtedly been talking about Kirsty.

"Kirsty's brother, he just walked in." I explained.

**Nita **

At some point during the last four hours I had fallen asleep on my folded arms at the kitchen table. It hadn't been a deep sleep and was plagued with imaged of mum and death, the last one being so terrifying that I'd jolted out of my slumber unsure whether it was real or a nightmare. I'd never really had a nightmare before, well I'd had bad dreams when I was a child but they were never that scary, not compared to this one. It had been in a league of its own and had brought my fear from my subconscious into my consciousness. I thought back to the nightmare mum had had on the sofa when Adam was at ours and how dad had held her in his arms rocking her and telling her everything was going to be ok. I however was sat in a dark, cold kitchen on a hard wooden chair by myself.

A shiver scurried up my spine, the memories of my dream lingering. A tear escaped my eye and slid down my cheek creating a path for the other tears to follow. This would be a time when my mum would curl up next to me enveloping me into her warmth and safeness but now she was nowhere to be seen. I wanted her so badly, for her I hug me and tell me everything was going to be fine but she couldn't. She wouldn't even speak to me if she was here.

More and more tears where flowing. There was nobody here to see them so I just let them fall. I never cried; it was a strange kind of release. Something I'd never experienced before I never thought you could get that feeling from crying but then again I always held my tears in afraid that if I let them fall somebody would see and judge me as weak. I don't know why that bothered me so much they were only tears after all but I could feel strong if I hadn't cried. When they finally slowed I felt better. I whipped my face with the cuff of my school jumper then gave the table a quick wipe before venturing out of the kitchen to see what was taking dad so long.

**Adam**

Kirsty still hadn't uttered as much as a word to anyone. I was worried, I could never imagine her looking so lost and damaged but there she was in front of me and a little part of me wouldn't believe it. Her left arm was in a plaster cast while the right was bandaged in clear plastic trying to stop the newly infected burn becoming more infected and to stop the infection spreading. The covers were pulled up to her waist but under them her legs where covered in cuts and bruises old and new. The gash on her lower abdomen had been stitched and dressed. Her beauty now sat below a big purple bruise across her cheek. It was fading green around the edges and defiantly happened before she arrived at St James's but I hadn't noticed it when she first came in, probably hidden under make-up. She also had more minor scrapes over her face which had been cleaned and some had butterfly stitches on them. She looked awful like one more touch and she'd shatter into a million pieces.

She jerked suddenly in her sleep and I could see tears leaking out of her closed eyes and sweat beading on her forehead. I wanted to touch her to comfort her but Kirsty didn't need those implications now so I lean back in the arm chair fighting the desperate urge to reach out and hold her hand.

She had escaped her little world and was now taking in everything which was happening around her. She'd tried to cut me off as soon as she saw me. She'd opened her eyes and saw me watching over her and tried to roll over putting her back to me just like the last time we had been in the on-call room when I'd seen the bruising over her hip. I'd seen more of her injuries than most, probably more than Warren judging by his reaction. I should have pressed her into telling me more I could have prevented this.

She'd grimaced in pain, her body to battered to obey her instructions. I gave her some more morphine and she closed her eyes attempting to sleep. Once she was aware of her surrounding it brought on another round of attempts to get her to speak.

After a couple of hours I sat at my desk my head in my hands wondering who to try next. I'd sent in everyone I could think of and they all returned with glum faces not needing to tell me they had failed. The last person I enrolled was Charlie. I'd called him up especially to see her hoping that she wasn't immune to him. I'd watched in anticipation through the window as he tried everything he could think of to get through to her. I could see it wasn't working, I'd sighed deeply, turned and headed to my office.

I could hear the hustle and bustle going on out side and wondered if I'd ever see Kirsty's happy and smiling face among it again but I wasn't going to give up that easily, I couldn't think like that. Of course she was going to get through this. There was a quiet knock at the door and I lifted my head to find Tess loitering in the doorway. I had never seen Tess loiter before and something about it seem amusing.

"Hey, come in."

"Any luck?" She questioned, her face still filled with hope. I shook my head and removing my eyes from hers not wanting to see it fade.

"What's next? What do we do?" Two questions I would give almost anything to answer but I couldn't.

"Just keep trying. She has to talk eventually."

"Coffee?" She asked.

"Would be great." I said following her out of my office and in the direction of the staffroom.

"What do you think?" I heard Zoe's voice and spotted her talking to Jay and Emily.

"What do you think about what?" I asked as Tess and I joined the conversation knowing it was probably about Kirsty.

"Kirsty's brother, he just walked in." Jay said looking rather nervous. I looked from Jay over to the window which framed Kirsty's bed. The screens had been pulled around. I felt like someone had just shackled me to a ball and chain. I made a full speed run at the doors but still I couldn't go fast enough. Something was wrong I could feel it like a cannon ball dropping in my stomach.


	13. Chapter 13

**Adam**

He was stood over her, his eyes menacing. He was speaking in an angry whisper but I couldn't catch what he was saying. She looked petrified. She was visibly shaking and she was trying to move out of his reach. From that second onwards I was convinced that it had been him. Her reaction had said it all. I stood shocked staring at the scene in front of me.

"Excuse me what do you think you are doing?" Tess's strong voice broke into the moment. He looked like he had been caught trying to kill her and he took a couple of seconds to recover. He reached out yanking Kirsty up of the bed and into his arms. She didn't even try to get away or break free of his grip this time, she had already given up. He stood daring us to advance on him while he held one arm around Kirsty's neck and the other around her waist, letting us know how easily he could hurt her and he was. He had removed her oxygen mask and had ripped the drip out of her hand. Her blood ran down the back of her hand weaving between her fingers before collecting at the tip to finally fall to the floor in big droplets.

Kirsty breathing was uneven, she was in pain. She moved her hands up to his arm smearing it in blood as she tried to pull it away from her neck but had trouble because one arm was in a plaster cast and the other was supporting an infected second degree burn. Her breathing was becoming small gasps and it looked like her legs weren't supporting her any longer.

"Ok ok calm down. Let Kirsty go, she has very serious injuries which you are making worst. This isn't going to solve anything." He just sneered and shook her like a rag doll.

"I will do whatever I want and there nothing you or anybody else can do to stop me." I was desperate, Kirsty looked about to collapse, Jay had gone for security, Tess was trying to tell Kirsty it was going to be ok and I stood there over whelmed. I didn't know how to hoax him down, Kirsty was best at that. Kirsty would have known what to do. She was amazing with Simone I don't know how she did it. Maybe if I knew I could help Kirsty in the same way. Her reaction to Simone's mother makes more sense now. She went to hit her to lash out like the way he was always lashing out at her. She was appalled at herself; I'd seen it in her reaction. She desperately didn't want to become him or anything like him.

I looked at her she was looking at me for reassurance and help but all I did was stand there unable to move.

"Security's on its way." Jay came back into the room, "She can't breathe. You're holding her too tight." But he was cut short.

"I'm holding her exactly the way I want to." And with that he rubbed his hand suggestively slowly cross her stomach. It made me feel sick; he hadn't just been laying into her. Wasn't he supposed to be her brother; I didn't want to think about it. Kirsty had been through much more than we had first thought.

Kirsty passed out and David loosened his grip around her. She hung limply in his arms.

"Right then were off," he said casually as he scooped Kirsty up into his arms and headed for the door in between us. We were all stunned. Not one of us attempted to move into his path until he got to the door and then I realised there was a possibility of us loosing her, again and only a couple of hours apart from last time. She wasn't stable enough to last with out treatment for long. I had to stop him.

"Stop." I shouted catching the unwanted attention of the whole ED.

"David, what are you doing?" Warren appeared in front of David. He seemed confused not mad. Did he really have no idea? When David didn't respond he turned to me with a questioning look.

"Bring Kirsty back inside she is seriously ill and needs treatment." I say in a voice that is much calmer than I'm feeling.

"Me and your wife are just going to go for a little drive." He gloated to Warren.

"You bastard, it's you. How could you, I trusted you, she trusted you. You're my brother; she's your sister in law." He was ready to lunge but was very aware that David was clutching Kirsty to him, who was still lifeless in his arms. The whole ED was in silent, gawping at what was taking place.

**Emily**

I'd been so sure it was her husband I never stopped to consider it being anyone else and now that person stood gloating in front of everyone and putting Kirsty's life at risk. She was still limp in his arms her head lulled against his chest with her burnt arm hanging loosely from her body. Her hand, which once supported her drip, now leaving a bread crumb trail of blood over the floor.

"David you're seriously endangering Kirsty's life if you take her out of the hospital." I say desperately trying to get him to give up and return her to get the help she urgently needed. He paid no attention and continued his staring match with Warren which was getting nobody anywhere.

Security arrived blocking the exit and abruptly stopped the staring. David started to panic, his eyes darting around the ED frantically looking for a way out. I saw the open lift behind him and prayed that it shut before he noticed. My prayers were left unanswered as he backed into the lift grinning evilly as the doors closed in front of him. Adam, Jay and security made a dash for the stairs trying to cut him off before he got out.

We stood staring at the closed lift door no one knowing what to do or say about what just happened. Warren was in tears and was being comforted by a nurse I didn't know.

"Everyone back to work." Tess instructed. Wow just another day at holby city ED. I thought it was impossible there was no way that an ED could be as bad as this. I never thought it could be as bad as all the papers made out but from what I'd just seen it was. Nobody around me seemed that shocked about what had just taken place. Tess ferried everyone back to work and within a couple of minuets it was like nothing had happened.

I stood still not quiet believing what just happened when Adam and Jay rushed back down the stairs. Not good they haven't found her yet.

"Has he come back this way?" Adam directed his question at me because I was the only one still stood in the same spot. I shook my head and his face fell a little.

"We've lost them," he stated event though he didn't need to, whilst he brought both hands up to his head brushing them thought his short hair. I look into his eyes they were hurting so much and that's when I realise, he loves her.

"Oh Adam," I say empathetically reaching out a putting my hand on his arm. He shrugged away from my touch scared that he'd been so transparent. "I won't tell anyone." I try to reassure him.

"Thanks," he looked up from the floor, "I've got to go and check with security."

"Go, go." I say bringing I a more light hearted atmosphere and with that he was off, racing down the hall with Jay hot on his heels.

**Zoe**

My mobile rang seconds after David had disappeared into the lift with Kirsty. I didn't even bother to check who was calling I just answered. I was too shocked to take in much of anything. I didn't even know who I had spoken to on the phone. It was a woman but that was about all I got. I hung up the phone when I heard the dialling tone ring out meaning that they had hung up. Tess had instructed everybody to get back to work but Emily stood in front of me in the same spot enable to move.

Warren had been moved to the relative's room but didn't know what to do with himself. He paced awkwardly backwards and forwards limping slightly on one leg. I'd heard that he had M.E. but it didn't strike me until now that that he wouldn't be able to do everything for himself and the person who's shoulders it would fall onto would be Kirsty's. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her she was so young yet had so much responsibility. I at her age I would be out getting hammered almost every night and she, she already had a teenage daughter was a career for her husband whilst his brother took advantage of her.

I thought back to when Kirsty knew about me not being pregnant. She had tried to help me, to warn me that if I didn't straighten out my lies then I would loss Nick. I didn't listen to her and instead lied to her. She had kept that secret for me. I had added to her already enormous burden and never once thanked her.

I looked out of the relative's room window to see Emily still stood in the same place. I opened the door and went to talk to her. She saw me approaching her and spoke first.

"They lost them. They don't know whether they are still in the hospital or not." She looked on the verge of tears.

"Hey, come here." I brought her into a hug, "its ok they will find her. She's strong she will get through this."

"I'm not so sure she looked so broken this morning." I sighed she was right she really did look broken with out the twinkle in her eye.

"We will all be around to help her get through this and she will because we all love her." I was being sentimental, scary! My phone rang again interrupting our conversation. I looked at the caller ID and was surprised to see who was calling me.

"Hi Jess what's up."

**Thanks for reviewing. This one's for Dudeybob, sararah and Katiehannahxx I suck at being patient too. Your reviews made writing this chapter so much fun:D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Zoe**

I hung up the phone.

"Zoe come on lets get you a cup of coffee." I turned my mouth still hanging open to see Emily's motherly nature taking over. I nodded and closed my mouth realising how stupid I must look.

"They will find her and she will be fine." She didn't sound like she fully believed it herself but the thought was there, but that wasn't the reason for my state of shock. Jess had just phoned me to tell me that she was flying back to England tomorrow with the kids. It's so out of the blue she hasn't even spoken to me since she upped and left months ago to go to America with the kids and her friend. I didn't really know how to react especially with everything that was going on here today.

While I was thinking Emily had put her arm around my shoulders and guided me into the staffroom. I sat on the edge of the sofa while Emily put the kettle on. I was sat opposite Kirsty's locker and a tear escaped my eye as I remembered her lying unconscious battered and bruised in rhesus. How had we not noticed?

**Nita**

"What do you mean he's gone? He wouldn't leave me here. He's taking me to see mum." She had to be lying. Dad wouldn't leave me here whilst he saw mum, so that I wouldn't get to see her.

"Nita, I'm sorry love but you dad thought it was for the best. It's very distressing for you to see her like that."

"What about mum, she'd want to see me."

"Your mum isn't well, there not even sure if she's aware of what's going on around her. Come on let's go and get some tea," and with that she frog marched me back to the kitchen like a two year old to start cooking.

Grandma ordered me around the kitchen retrieving items for our meal for her like a dog. I did it all with out complaining knowing that it would get me nowhere. To say I was glad we didn't live here anymore was an understatement and I wondered how mum had put up with it for so long. Even on our short visits here I was always eager to leave. I think mum is as well but she never lets on to dad.

Grandma put the gross looking stew in the oven and set the timer. I hate stew but I would be made to eat every last mouthful with out mum here to back my corner. Grandma thinks mum spoils me, she's old fashioned and thinks that if you don't clear your plate then you shouldn't get anything else to eat before you do. Even if you have to have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner before you finish.

The thought of mum still lying in a hospital bed brought a lump to my throat but there was no way I was going to cry in front of Grandma I had more pride than that. She would have probably told me of for being stupid. She can be so cold so unlike the way mum describes her mum. I'd loved to have met her or even to met her because I don't think she's dead despite what dad said to Adam, I still don't know why he said that but I haven't had chance to ask yet but I will. She sound's like the type of Grandma who would bake cookies with you and wrap you in a warm loving cuddle if you were sad but I got stuck with this Grandma, cold, hard and always buying me off with stupid presents that were always awful. I don't know how dad managed to grow up so normally. Between my Grandma and my Grandpa I'm sure he rarely saw love.

They didn't show it not to each other or to their children or grandchildren but he shows it to me and mum. They never laugh, when we sit down to tea at their table it's filled with boring small talk which is so unlike home. Our table is filled with chit chatter and laughter although it's mostly between me and dad because mum too busy doing something. When I look at my childhood compared to his I feel blessed both my dad and my mum have worked very hard to give me everything they wanted to. Even if mum does come home cranky, I know she goes to work to put a roof over our heads and with dad's M.E. it means she has to.

**Kirsty**

I woke immediately feeling my body screaming in pain. My vision was blurry, dotted with black spots not allowing me to see anything clearly, I could only make out darkness with blobs of light.

"Morning sleepy head," my stomach sank I stayed lying on the floor knowing how much more it was going to hurt if I tried to move. A loose curl lay across my face resting gently on my nose. All I wanted to do was tuck it behind my ear but I didn't too afraid that I would find I didn't have the energy to lift my hand to my face let alone be able to walk, run or fight, three things which would be extremely valuable to be able to do right now.

"David, why are you doing this? You are going to be blamed for everything and you haven't done anything."

"Yet,"

"Huh?" everything was still muffled so I couldn't make out what he had said.

"I haven't done anything yet." Not having the energy in me to fight anymore I just lay still hoping that they would find me soon, I didn't know how long I could hold on. My sense of smell was the next thing to return to me. I could smell that hospital smell. I blinked several times making my sight become clear. I was still in the hospital but not a part I'd ever been in before. It was gloomily with the only light coming from an old dull light above my head. It created big dark shadows everywhere and gave the room a creepy feel like in a horror movie when everybody is about to be killed of one by one and I had this sinking feeling that I was going to be the first to go. David sat in one of these shadows, his face submerged in darkness - the sinister silhouette always responsible for the brutal deaths which occur. I could only just make out his outline but I could tell that he was sat up against the door leaving me no chance of escaping.

He sat smoking quietly blowing clouds of smoke in my direction. I lay motionless my bruised cheek pressed against the cold concrete floor not daring to move. What was he going to do? I knew Warren was behind this David had never been particular nice to me but he was always civil and never showed me aggression. Warren was covering his tracks but this was taking it too far. David could be in serious trouble and there's no way I'm going to let him go down for something he didn't do. That's if they find me in time.

I wasn't sure what was wrong with me. I had a lot of cuts and bruises along with a broken arm the plaster gave that away but I didn't know whether my burn was infected. Something told me it probably was and my ribs they were broken for sure they had been for about a week but were they worse? They defiantly felt it. My breathing was shallow and I could feel the build up of fluid on my lungs weighing down every breath. It was not a good sign.

I wanted to see my daughter to tell her how much I loved her. I had to be strong there's no way I could leave her with him what if he started on her. I had always believed that he would never touch his daughter in that way but now I wasn't so sure. He was going to let me die. He probably didn't care, but what about Nita. How could he do this to her? Is he letting her sit in the ED now worrying about me while he knows exactly where I am? I had to survive for my daughter. I had to survive so that I could take her and run. If he could do this to me I wasn't so sure that he wouldn't touch her and I could never live with myself if that ever happened. I wouldn't let it happen I was going to be there to make sure that it didn't. The second I was better we were getting out of here, away from him forever. She would hate me at first but in time she would learn to live with it maybe even come around to seeing that it was the best thing to do, maybe? It didn't matter I could live with her hate as long as I knew she was safe.

** I want to thank Hannah Louise16x for the amazing idea to bring Jessica back, more will unravel in a couple of chapter's time. Reviews are much appreciated. Any ideas on what to do with David? Should he get away, prison or something else? Thanks for reading. Hope you're enjoying it.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Adam**

There was no sign of them anywhere. We checked and double checked the security tapes and they had just vanished into thin air. We'd searched the hospital, all the wards, store rooms and offices and still there was nothing. I paced back and forth the tiny security office waiting while one of the tapes rewound. It smelt of smoke and crisp packets littered the desks. The security guard was plumb, his small slit eyes scrutinising the screen in front of him. I looked down at the top of his bold head watching the light reflect of it as I moved around the room. My attention then returned to the screens. They showed different scenes from around the hospital normal people getting on with their lives. They had no idea mine had just stopped.

I didn't want to think about what he was doing to her but I couldn't push the thoughts out of my mind. She was helpless, I'm not even sure she would have regain consciousness yet and even if she had she wouldn't be able to fight, her injuries would prevent her from doing so. She had no chance unless we found her and every minuet that past it was getting more and more unlikely that we wouldn't.

Would that really be the last time I saw her, broken with out the sparkle in her eyes. So weak that she couldn't fight back.

"I found them." The security man said jumping heavily from his seat and pointing at the screen. They had gone in the direction of the east stairs. I rushed out of the small office not even bothering to thank him. Jay and I had been given radios so that we could keep in contact with security whilst we searched. I tugged mine out of my scrub pocket and directed everyone in the same direction as me.

The east stairs where the only staircase in the hospital which lead to the roof and made me dread even more what I was going to find when I found her. I raced up the stairs Jay joining me on the third level; we gave each other apprehensive looks but didn't slow down. We reached the door labelled roof access. Jay stood back as I opened it slowly quickly glancing at what I could see. I found only an empty roof with nothing but a couple of pigeons to keep it company. I ran my finger though my hair trying not to show my disappointment. Jay patted me on my back showing that he too was finding this hard.

"Come on." He sighed taking the lead back down the stairs, I followed. We walked down the stairs in silence, the sound of our foot steps keeping us company.

**Nita **

If you had asked me this time yesterday I would have told you about my life and my family and about our lives together but now I'm unsure. Had it all been a lie? If you asked me now, I wouldn't know what to say. Over night my views have changed, my eyes have been opened, my blinkers removed and I've seen what I could never imagine, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I would never ever have believed it to be true. Now my views of my life and of my family are very different; changed forever.

I lay awake that night, unable to sleep, I told myself well into the early hours that I imagined what I saw or that it was a bad dream, that when I'd woken to the screams they weren't real; they were just echoes from a nightmare, one I couldn't remember. But I couldn't tell that to myself any longer. I thought I'd expelled that night from my memories forever but it seems the memories have refused to budge, lurking in the back ground waiting. I had been able to push then to the back of my mind forgotten from the morning after it happened but now something had triggered my memory. I had remembered something. Just that one small detail replayed in my mind, I'd heard those screams before, I just couldn't remember where and when and then inevitably that evening which I'd banished from my memory all came flooding back.

_Screaming, ear piercing screaming was coming from down stairs. I pushed back the covers and padded my five year old bare foot self across my bedroom and onto the landing. I was terrified I'd never heard anyone scream like that before. I wanted to run down stairs, help my mum. Stop whatever was happening to her but I couldn't, her screams kept me away. I perched a couple of steps from the top of the stairs grasping both of my small shaking hands onto the banister. _

_Amongst the screams I could hear an angry male voice. Telling me her to shut up and sneering at her pain. The smell of burning filled my nostrils. The kitchen door was open just a crack and I could see my mum struggling with everything she had to free herself. I gasped quickly covering my mouth with my hand hoping no one had heard me and I could stay hidden. The person who was torturing my mum - who I thought to be a burglar - was no other than my dad. I felt sick I could clearly see him pouring boiling water from the kettle onto her. The burning smell was her flesh. I gagged reaching the toilet just in time as I threw up. After I'd finished I ran back into my room curling up under the covers cuddling my favourite stuffed dog, spot. I cried quietly into my pillow, the duvet pulled up over my head. I was terrified at what I'd just seen. _

I wasn't even meant to be home last night, I'd been staying at Hannah's but we'd had a massive fight so I'd snuck in not wanting to talk about it. I remembered; I knew what had happened last night. Is this what happened every time I wasn't home?

I knew the truth, I'd seen the truth and now I couldn't pretend it had never happened like mum could. I would not let her go though anything like that again. I was not going to run from it. I'd seen some of the bruises and now I knew how she really got them. Had it been happening this whole time? I've got no doubts that it has. I thought back cringing realising how much I'd missed. All the cuts and bruises, broken house hold items and trinkets.

It's most defiantly been going on all these years, I sighed. How could I not have seen what was going on? How could I have been so blind? Why had she put up with it? I would have been on her side if she'd told me. I would and will make her leave and I'm going with her there no way I'm letting my dad do any thing else to my mum. He always blamed her for her bad moods and sullen looks. I always thought she was being nasty to him but it was the other way around. I'd always taken his side not questioning whether it was the right one or not. Now I knew that it was the wrong one, no wonder she never told me. She probably thought I would take his side if I knew. Maybe I would have believed it was her fault if I hadn't seen what I had. She probably though if she left then she would loss me, she couldn't have been more wrong. How could she think that? I've always been a daddy girl and she's known it. I've always thought she didn't care about me as much as dad. He was always there while she was off at work too busy to bother about me. When really she was working for the money we needed and to escape him, if only for a while.

I've been so mean to her sometimes, coming down on his side when really she hadn't done anything. I'd made her cry and thought she deserved to, maybe I was as bad as him.

**Warren**

He was meant to wait till she was doing better but he had just waded in and taken her. I don't want her to die. I just don't want to be blamed. She wasn't well enough yet anyone could see that. I needed to get her back and soon, I didn't want to lose her. I'd asked the nurse to be straight with me how long she could go without medical care. The answer wasn't good. I'd tried phoning him but his phone was switched off. Surely he could see that she wasn't well enough to be with him. I didn't even know where they were. Were they still in the hospital? I excused myself making my way out of the double doors and into the cool winter air.

The phone rang and rang going to voicemail. I angrily hit the red button knowing that every minuet I was closer to losing her. I scrolled though the numbers on my phone and hit the call button on the number I wanted.

"Hi." Nita spoke somewhat reluctantly.

"Pass me onto your Grandma now." I knew I sounded harsh but I didn't have time to worry about that now. The phone went quiet for a little while.

"Warren, I trust everything is going well."

"No, he has to bring her back now. She wasn't ready; she's going to die if she doesn't get medical attention straight away. He was meant to wait until I said. What happened?"

"Warren calm down I'll phone him, she's not going to die."

"His phone is off mom, what am I going to do. This is not what I wanted. I don't want to loss her."

"You won't,"

"No mom, you didn't see her today. She was shattered. I've crushed her. She's not herself anymore; I don't think she was even acting in the hospital this morning." I stopped unable to go on tears filling my eyes and a train sized lump stuck in my throat.

I love my wife but I know what she's like. I know she's a flirt and that she's cheated on me with that doctor. It hurts so much to know my wife doesn't love me like that anymore. That she stays with me only for our daughter, if it wasn't for Nita she would have left me years ago and now with my M.E. I depend on her and she resents me for it. She stays at work later these days always 'losing' track of time. She won't even admit to me that she's been with him. I'd thought that up until today but if she had been with him then he would have noticed the bruises. He would know it was me but he doesn't. Maybe she has been faithful to me this whole time. He would have made her tell him if he'd seen them and she would have finally caved.

"Warren, you still there?"

"Yer."

"They will find her. Go back inside and take you part. I'll try and phone him again. Bye," and with that she hung up leaving me feeling worse than I had before I phoned her. Please Kirsty fight, fight for me, for Nita for our family. I need you.

**Thank you to anyone who reviewed. Quick question what do you think to Jay and Emily cute couple? I am getting to Adam and Jessica just this day seems to have dragged out and is going to carry on for a couple more chapters and she has to put in an appearance just at the right time. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Emily**

I watched Warren from across the car park the bitter wind which cut into me having no effect on him or his phone conversation. I couldn't hear what he was saying but he looked extremely distressed. The other person hung up on him and he checked the screen of his phone before pocketing it and returning inside. I sighed this must be so hard on him.

"It's freezing out here come back inside and I'll make you a hot drink." Tess said putting her arm around me as we walked towards the door. At all the time I've worked at St James's not one member of staff, that wasn't a friend, had treated me this kindly. They really were like a family unit. A smile crept onto my lips as I walked thought the department watching each member of their 'family'. Tess was undoubtedly the mother with Charlie as Father, Big Mac the friendly uncle and Jordon the unfriendly one. Jay, Noel and Lenny the jokey brother's, Zoe and Adam the older sibling and finally Kirsty she seemed like the baby of their family. They all wanted to protect her but she would insist she was strong enough to protect herself even if she wasn't.

Every member of their team had there own place there own role to fill and they all seemed to fit perfectly together. Tess handed me the steaming tea with a strained smile. She sat carefully beside me in the staffroom and placed her hand comfortingly on my arm.

"How many times did you see her?" I could tell it was hard for her to talk about it. She had missed all the signs which she had been trained to see.

"Over a dozen." She sighed and sunk back into the sofa. I turned to her, "I started recognising her and taking over from other nurses when she came in. I didn't clock on for a while, maybe the fifth or sixth time I saw her, that's when I realised. She was so good at hiding it, it was scary. She was always bubbly and chatty whenever I saw her. Never letting on she had a care in the world every time apart from this last one. She was so quiet, she refused to talk to me or even look at me. We were so rushed off our feet I didn't get back to her for a while, I caught her trying to sneak out. She said she was late for work but I needed to dress her arm and that's when the bomb went off. While she was trapped we talked. She didn't tell me she was married and always gave me her maiden name but this has been going on for over fourteen years." She tore her gaze of her lap sharply looking at me hoping she had just misheard me.

"Fourteen years." She whispered in disbelieve more to herself than me.

"I'm sorry." I didn't know what else I could say so we fell into silence. After a couple of minuets the door open and Zoe flopped onto the sofa on my other side letting out a loud sigh.

"You alright?" I asked and then kicked myself, of course she wasn't. I looked across at her. Tears swelling in her eyes but she didn't let them fall. I put my tea on the floor at my feet then I reached over and pulled her into a hug unable to see her upset and not do anything. We were soon joined by Tess. I sat hugging these two people who I barely knew, not knowing how unlike them it was to be hugging me back and showing their vulnerable side.

I hadn't left Holby in over twenty four hours, my colleagues having long since left but I couldn't bring myself to leave. I felt a strong bond towards Kirsty and I didn't want to leave until I knew that she was going to be ok. I'd only met her a few times but I felt like I'd known her for so much longer. In fact I was becoming connected with everybody around here. They were all so kind. They were looking out for me even though we had only just met. At St James's I hadn't seen this kindness in the whole time I'd worked there and I'd been here one day. Everyone had stayed taking it in turns to nap in the staffroom and on-call room. Leaning on each other for encouragement and support, it was heart warming to see. Tears fell over my cheeks with out me realising that they had threatened to fall.

Slowly they pulled back and I released my hold on them. Tess quickly wiped a fallen tear from her cheek looking slightly embarrassed that I'd seen. I smiled and wiped the cuff of Kirsty's Holby hoodie across my cheeks mopping my tears. I caught her scent on it and regretted accepting it and her clean scrubs after I showered the dust and her blood off me. My hair was still damp and hung in a mass of messy curls from my bobble, soaking the hood of her hoodie.

I'm sure if Kirsty had walked in on us like that she would have laughed at us. She wouldn't think she deserved people to care about her and would have laughed it off nervously. I've fought to find out everything I could about her since I realised what was happening. I know she has a very low opinion of herself, feeling that she doesn't deserve to have people care about her and I would bet on it that she felt responsible for what he does to her. Although she puts up a front, appearing confidant and ballsy, behind it all I think she feels worthless and she can't except compliments but still she does everything she can to help others to the best of her abilities.

**Kirsty **

I knew I had to do something. I'd just been lying on the floor silent for what seemed like an eternity and I'd only gotten weaker. My breathing was more rapid and uneven; I fought to keep it steady but it was a battle I was losing.

"David," I rasped still lying motionless on the concrete, "I'm guna die." There was no point in beating around the bush, I knew the truth; I was a nurse of course I knew what was happening to me. He looked up at me, I guessed studying me before deciding I didn't look that bad and returning to something I couldn't see which he held in his hands. He didn't even bother to speak to me. One look that was what my life rested on. One look, one which I didn't pass and that in that moment - when I stole his attention from whatever it was in his lap that was more important than my life - he decided that I looked ok and went back to whatever he was doing and ignored me. That was the moment he signed my death certificate and I knew I could not count on him for help.

I had to move there was no other way. I wasn't sure whether David was simply waiting for me to die but I wasn't going to wait around to find out. I had to try, for my daughter. To protect her.

**Nita **

I'd been at Grandma's now for hours. I'd sat though her stupid dinner with her small talk in which she avoided all of my questions and stayed well away from anything to do with mum and dad. I'd eaten every mouth full of her disgusting cooking just for a bit of peace and quiet. She'd left me sulking over the huge mound of washing up. Who'd have thought one meal could have created so much. I was in no hurry to finish, its not like there was something to do afterwards. I stood at her sink using my wet rubber gloved hand to tuck a fallen strand of hair behind my ear. I felt useless I wanted to be with my mum, not here being my Grandma's slave.

Why the hell had dad left me here? If he didn't want me to see mum like that I could have stayed at a friend's. At least I knew mum would be safe at the hospital. Dad would never try anything in front of people, after all he never tried anything in front of me but I couldn't shake of the bad feeling I'd had since I remembered what happened. It was most likely the reason why she was at St James's in the first place. My life was going to be turned up side down. Scratch that I was going to turn my life upside down as soon as mum was well enough we were leaving. If she wasn't going to protect herself I was going to do it for her, that or make her do it herself. I should never have left her at the hospital. I should be there with her.

That's it I've had enough if he isn't going to come back and take me to see her I'll just go by myself. I grabbed my coat of the back of a kitchen chair and headed for the door. I'd only gotten a couple of steps when she appeared in the doorway.

"Where do you think your going?" She asked her wrinkled face crunched up into a frown with her hands on her hips. Great.

"I just wanted some fresh air. Why is something wrong?" I knew exactly what I was doing with my, I'm so innocent I could never do anything wrong, face looking up at her. She looked down at me as if trying to decide whether to believe me or not. Everyone always believed me why was she having such a hard time with it.

"No nothings wrong," she finally replied coyly, "but I am glad you want some fresh air. My flower bed looking rather over grown and could do with a good sorting out," when I didn't make an offer to do it for her she spoke again, "it would be so kind of you to do it for me." She said giving me no choice but to collect her gardening tools and head into her back garden. Ughhh, just what I wanted to be doing.

**Tess**

I pulled back trying to discreetly wipe a tear from my cheek but I caught Emily watching me her big blue eyes filled with tears. She brushed her tears away with her sleeve. I felt for her, this was all new to her. We all knew each other but she only knew Kirsty. I could tell she was kind and sweet it showed. Zoe had also pulled back and we sat looking at each other before we all let out a little laugh. What did we look like?

It had been hours now since that moment on the sofa and even longer since David had taken Kirsty from rhesus and tempers were running high. Nobody knew what had happened to them where they had gone and if Kirsty was still alive. Everyone was on edge, knowing that it was getting more and more unlikely that she wasn't going to make it back alive. Adam and Jay were still of gallivanting around the hospital checking every nuke and cranny they could think of and correlating with security and the police as the search was widen out of the hospital grounds but there was still no sign of them anywhere. They had popped down a couple of times now to check up on us and to see how we were holding up. We'd broken the four hour rule several times today but no one seemed to care I certainly didn't blame them, although I still wanted to keep the ED running smoothly. Nobody had gone home, just catching the odd hour to catch up on sleep either in the staffroom or on-call room. Everybody was just living off coffee resulting in the coffee jar in the staffroom needing a desperate refill.

In came Charlie shopping bags at the ready, I smiled, perfect timing. They were filled with coffee, milk, sandwiches and other snake foods including my favourite biscuits. For a couple of minuets the staffroom was heaving as everybody dove into the bags choosing a sandwich or making a hot drink. I stood bag smiling at the chaos a couple of bags of shopping were causing. Charlie was also stood back smiling not at everyone else but at me. I mouthed "thank you" silently over the bedlam to him.

"Anytime," came his silent answer.

After everybody was fed and watered the atmosphere changed for the better, we started focusing more on the patients and moving them along quickly. We were getting twice the number of patients with everyone in the near area coming to one hospital instead of two and all of the St James's staff had already gone home so to say the ED was hectic was an understatement.

**Adam**

The police had asked for the hospital blue prints. They wanted to check they had covered every exit to make sure they hadn't missed anything. From what I knew every exit out of the hospital had CCTV covering it making it impossible for them to escape with out being seen. People had been trawling though hours of CCTV tapes for hours now and nothing had been found. I was certain they were still in the hospital I just couldn't figure out where and why. He could have left and got away so why did he stay?

I was stood beside two police officers who where studying the blue prints crossing off places they'd already checked. I'd already checked the whole hospital with Jay and security and thought this was a waste of time but I didn't have any better ideas so I stayed to listen, hoping there would be news soon. The blue prints were spread out over the work surfaces in order of floors. They were working from the top down and the roof and the whole top floor had been covered showing on signs. I sighed removing my stethoscope from around my neck and then replacing it the other way around. I looked around at the floor plans trying to find a place that we had missed but we'd covered every ward, office and store cupboard finding only her absence and my worry growing.

I wouldn't give up, Kirsty was counting on me to find her so I would. They had last been seen heading toward the east staircase that lead downwards onto the first floor cafeteria and upwards onto the roof. So they must have got off some where in-between. After drawing my conclusion I knew we would have seen them of they had each exit of those stairs was covered by CCTV. It was a dead end. Frustration got the better of me and I lashed out kicking a plastic chair across the room. The officers looked up at me for a second before returning to their job. I had to get out I needed to find her and found me feet walking to the last place the CCTV had seen them. I pushed open the double doors leading onto the stairs still not in the best of moods. My feet lead me down and I took the stairs one and a time looking for something anything no matter how small that I could use to place her here. I found nothing, I didn't even know they had come this way. As I got nearer the ground floor the hustle and bustle of the cafeteria came into ear shot growing louder the closer I got. I stood a couple of steps from the bottom staring though the little glass window in the door watching the people on the other side eating their food. My heart sank I'd really lost her.

Slowly a door opened I hadn't seen it before; it was hidden in the wall behind the stairs. Blood there was so much blood covering trembling hands, arms and front.

"No," I pushed past him not caring at this point if he got away, all I could see was a dimly lit passage blood smearing the floor and wall. My eyes then settled on a small blood soaked body sprawled across it, a mass of unruly curls telling me.

"Kirsty."

**Sorry couldn't resist the cliff hanger! I think I've made this part too long and dragged it out but it should all become clear in the next chapter. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Kirsty **

I looked around for something, anything that could help me. My eyes rested on a disused and rusty trolley. After looking around the rest of the dark room it was the only thing I could see that would move; it would have to do. I looked over at David he was still occupied by whatever was in his hands. It took almost everything I had to get up silently. I tugged heavily on a near by cupboard levering myself off the floor and into a painful standing position. I never once took my eyes off David. My head swam viciously threatening to take me from consciousness and away from this nightmare but I struggled to hold on, determined to make it back to my daughter even if it was just to tell her how much I loved her. I somehow I managing to stay upright but I couldn't control my heavily laboured breathing. I was exhausted from simply standing. My breathing only got worse as I tried to keep it quiet but in the end I was gasping for air like I'd just run all the way here from my house but I'd only moved from the floor. I started to worry, how was I going to find the strength to but my plan into action? I didn't have any more time to think.

David looked up stunned to see I was standing. His strong masculine features giving way his shock. Momentarily his bulky muscular build was relaxed before he sprung into action. This gave me the couple of seconds I needed to wheel the trolley in-between us before he could reach me but it wasn't enough to stop him lunging at me his arms frantically reaching out trying to seize me. He ran at me not caring that the trolley was in-between us making them both fly at me. It came crashing into me tearing the stitches holding my tummy together. I doubled over in pain; tears falling rapidly over my cheeks. My hands, which were clutching my tummy becoming sticky with my blood, I looked down at them watching them tremble as I smelled my blood. David was moving around the trolley his wild eyes piercing into me, desperate for me not to escape. I looked at him, his face alive with rage and for a moment he looked just like Warren. I froze for a split second before I realised I had to fight for my life. With one push of the trolley he was up against the wall leaving the door open for my escape.

I staggered out of the door into the equally dark corridor. My right hand pressed firmly cross my tummy trying to stop the blood which was quickly exiting my body. I used my left hand to steady myself holding tightly onto the door frame, which way left or right? I turned left in my rush to get away having no idea whether it was the right way or not. I had no idea where I was, I only knew that I had to put as much distance between me and this room and David as I possibly could.

Staggering down the dingy hallway I used the wall as a crutch leaving a trail of bloody hand prints on the white wall, although I didn't turn around to look at it. My vision was blurry and my legs shook under my weight but I struggled on desperate to get some where safe. Blood was trickling down my legs, my bare feet padding along the cold floor. I was losing too much blood; I had to get to safety and fast.

My legs gave out forcing me onto the floor. I could hear snarling coming from behind me and I scrambled clumsily over the ground franticly trying to put more distance between me and him.

I've no idea how far I got before a large hand grabbed me from behind pulling me up onto my unwilling feet. I was begging while he looked at me in horror. I couldn't imagine what I looked like, I didn't need too look to know I was covered in blood, I'd have been horrified looking at myself as well but I needed him to help me. He needed to get a grip and safe my life.

Realising how doubtful it was that he was suddenly going to help me I started struggling in his grip trying to make my way further down the corridor but he held me tightly by my shoulders baring most of my weight. Then his grip slackened and I fell onto my feet. At first I was shocked, firstly by the fact he'd let me go and secondly because I could only just feel my feet, what was happening to me? I made to run for it, only to stumble and fall just a few paces from where I'd started. I collided mercilessly with the concrete under foot, blackness taking control of my body.

Buzzing filled my ears; it was soft and didn't seem to becoming from anywhere impartial. I lifted the lead weight that was my head only to see nothing but blackness. I blinked a couple of times and when nothing came into focus I went to look for my hands. Both of my hands where positioned above my head and I didn't have the strength to move them. It was cold underneath me, stealing the heat from my body. I couldn't move or call out. I couldn't do anything. There was water under my body making me question just where I was, how did I get here? I couldn't remember anything.

There were muffles, I could hear muffles coming from somewhere near. They over powered the buzzing but I still couldn't make out what was making them. Then a pair of strong hands lifted me. They turned me over and pulled me into their owners lap. Everything was still in darkness, who was this stranger? They smelt familiar but I couldn't place the smell or link it to anyone. They were rocking me whispering softly into my ear but still I couldn't grasp onto the words and they pasted over me not understood. They held my body close and I could hear the fear in their voice. I couldn't respond. Was I dying?

Then he left me, alone and cold. He put me back onto the floor into the cold puddle. Then he was gone his foot steps becoming quieter and quieter and my hope becoming smaller and smaller. I was so cold, I couldn't feel my body and I struggled to flicker my eyes open one last time before they closed eagerly, my heavy eye lids staying tightly closed. Was I dead?

My name, I heard my name. I smiled it was a bad dream. Adam was beside me saying my name shaking me awake but something was not right in his voice. It was filled with fear and panic. I couldn't respond to him, I tried but my eyes were welled shut and my body not responding to commands. He was cradling me stroking my hair, pressing my tummy. I could feel his warmth against me and I fed of it, willing him to draw me closer to him.

**Adam**

_Slowly a door opened I hadn't seen it before; it was hidden in the wall behind the stairs. Blood there was so much blood covering trembling hands, arms and front. _

_ "No," I pushed past him not caring at this point if he got away, all I could see was a dimly lit passage blood smearing the floor. A small blood soaked body sprawled across it, a mass of unruly curls telling me. _

_ "Kirsty."_

I dropped to my knees beside her, surveying the damage. She was lying in a pool of her own blood, it seeping out from underneath her. I looked around, there was blood smeared over the floor and bloody hand prints along the wall, she'd fought. Just knowing that gave me strength. She was breathing, just about. I pulled her into my arms trying to locate the source of the bleeding. For a second I thought I saw a small smile creep though her lips but it was gone almost immediately and I questioned whether it was ever there at all. It was her stomach and I quickly pressed my hand to the wound to stent the blood flow. I checked her pulse, it was basically none existent. I pulled her closer to me and for a moment I just sat with her in my arms stroking her hair.

"Kirsty, wake up its Adam. You've got to wake up, for me." I shook her gently needing a response. I didn't get one.

What am I doing? I stood quickly taking Kirsty with me nearly throwing her in the air because of her none existence weight. I hadn't expected her to be so light and it scared me. I knew she was slim but this was way beyond slim. Giving myself no more time to think about it I rushed out of the corridor heading directly for help. I refused to loss her.

**I especially want to thank Dudeybob for all the reviews and anyone else who has reviewed or been following this fic it means a lot. I don't really know anything about Jessica so any helpful hints would be a great help. Thanks for reading. I would love to hear what you think. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Zoe **

"You have to tell him. You can't just turn up and expect everything to be ok. He was shattered after you left and it's taken him a long time to get to the point he is at now. A long time has passed since then you can't expect nothing to have changed."

"I know, but I really need to see him," her voice sounded deflated.

"I know you do, but at least give him some warning. Give him a couple of days to adjust to the idea before you go and see him." How was I going to explain what was going on here and how Adam was going to need more than a couple of days before he was ready to hear from her let alone see her.

"Ok I'll phone him first, thanks for everything Zoe. We still on for this evening?"

"Yer, see you later, bye," I just about managed to finish talking to Jess as I watched Adam carry Kirsty into the ED.

**Warren**

Shock, I stood like a statue with wide eyes as Adam ran in the ED with my blood soaked wife in his arms. I didn't even care that he was holding her; I just wanted her to live. She looked dead, so pale compared to the deep crimson of her blood. He went straight though some double door and started hooking her up to machines. Still I didn't move. I watched as she crashed and as her colleges tried desperately to save her their faces telling me they didn't expect her to make it. I watched as again and again her body jerked from the electric pulses sent though it by the defibrillator. I stood praying and promising. I promised if she made it I would never lay another finger on her ever again but still there was nothing, she was too far gone. I knew it and they knew it too. I saw them one by one giving up on her life till there was only Adam left. He was still trying to bring her back unable to accept that she was gone.

I'd killed her. I'd killed Kirsty the only woman I've ever loved, the mother of my daughter. She was gone and it was entirely my fault. I collapsed on the ground unable to take the truth any longer as deep guilt ridden sobs shook my body**.**

**Nita **

I'd been at it for ages, weeding her stupid flower bed. It was winter who cared. My mind wasn't on the job though and she kept coming out to check on me, cupping her tea in her hands. She hadn't even offered to make me one. I kept thinking about mum and dad and what they were doing now. Was mum awake yet? Was she talking? Where they sitting in the hospital with mum demanding to go home? I knew that she would hate being held up in the hospital and would be battling against everyone in the small chance that they would let her recuperate at home. From what I'd seen though they wouldn't. She'd really scared them today and they wouldn't want her out of their sight just yet.

I smiled about the thought of mum trying to talk Adam and Tess into letting her go home and wondered how they were going to convince her stay put. It worried me slightly that she might not get all the care that she needed for her recovery but dad and I would take really good care of her at home.

She'd had to stay in hospital over night once when I was about eight. I can remember going to visit her. Dad and I stopped at the gift shop to buy her flowers before we went up to see her. She had pretty much demanded to go home the whole time we were there. I'd thought she was scared to stay in hospital which was weird because she worked there but now I realise she didn't want to be there because of dad. She was scared of them finding out. He'd put her in there; I'm sure of it. I can remember asking her about what happened to her that day, her answer was vague. She'd decided to take a short cut home, it was dark and someone had tried to steal her bag. That was all she remembered.

It never made sense to me because she came home from work that evening and gave me tea but now it does. It was him. I don't know what to think of him. Am I meant to hate him? He's my dad and I'm not sure that I do, even after everything he's done to mum. I hate what he's done but he's never acted that way towards me. Maybe it's her fault maybe she does something wrong, something I don't know about. Really I know there's no excuse that's good enough for what he's done to her but part of me hopes that there is and we could still be a family. There's not though, so I have to stop it. If last night was anything to go by he'd probably end up seriously injuring maybe even killing her next time and there's no way I could live with the fact I knew it was going on and did nothing about it.

Snatching the watering can from beside me I got up and headed around the side of the house to fill it up. The tap was positioned right beside the gate and I took one last look down the side of the house, towards the back garden. Seeing no sign of my Grandma I slid open the bolt and darted down the drive and onto the street. I was free, for now. Wrapping my coat more tightly around me, I headed in the direction of the hospital.

The wind cut at my cheeks. It was getting dark out. The sun was below the horizon, lighting the dark and moody, grey clouds from underneath. A shiver crawled up my spin. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach something was wrong. I walked into the ED and joined the dense atmosphere. I slowly took steps further towards where I last saw mum. I can't explain the feeling of dread I felt taking those couple of steps but somehow I knew.

The first thing I saw was my dad sobbing uncontrollably in a heap on the floor. Tess was trying to comfort him but he wasn't listening to anything she was saying and just carried on babbling about it not being true, that everyone was lying to him. I stood meters away watching my dad and Tess sitting on the floor in front of me.

"She's not dead," he shouted in denial.

"I'm sorry there was nothing more we could do." Tess said trying to pull my dad into her arms.

"No," I whispered but it was loud enough to gain there attention.

"Nita," my dad sobbed my name from his position on the floor, holding his arms open, waiting for me to run into them. But I couldn't, I was paralysed. I started shaking my head back and forth trying to take in what they had just said. It couldn't be true.

I could see the tears in Tess's eyes to and with a quick look around I saw most of my mum's colleagues stood watching either crying or trying not to. The woman who had brought in my mum from the other hospital came up to me enveloping me into a hug. I rested my head on her chest, not crying just silent. I took a deep breath, I could smell my mum. She was wearing my mum's hoodie. I pulled away from her sharply looking evilly into her eyes.

"Take it off," I demanded childishly not caring how she felt. She looked at me not realising what I meant.

"It's hers. Take it off now," my voice erupted into a shout. She quickly pulled off the hoodie and placed it into my hands. Tears fell over her cheeks and she apologised sincerely, making me feel bad. I hugged the hoodie to me breathing in her scent. I wanted my dad. I turned looking for him and found him still in the same position and toddled towards him collapsing in his arms. He pulled me closer and I held the hoodie against my cheek in-between us. I still didn't cry; we just sat holding each other; dad was weeping freely. I buried my head in his shoulder but did not let a tear fall.

**You might really hate me for this but it needed to be done. Thank you to anyone who helped me out with information on Jess it will be used the chapter after next. Looking forward to your flames :P **


	19. Chapter 19

**Warren **

I sat holding my daughter on the ED floor bearing the worst news of my life but it was nothing more than I deserved. It should have been me who died, not her. She would never have been at St James's if it wasn't for me. If I had never phoned mom and asked for her help David would never have taken her. It was my fault and the guilt I found myself feeling was too much to live with. I had to live with it though; I couldn't leave Nita, not after I'd taken her mother from her. I wept not trying to hide any of the emotions I was feeling.

I was so confused. I'd been so angry at Kirsty all this time for always thinking she knew best and my opinion meant nothing. I've never spent the time to be happy with her and now she was gone and I never would be able to. She was a slut, she was. That's why she deserved everything she got. She cheated on me, with Adam. I thought that was true I would have bet my life on it. It seems I was wrong, he obviously fancy's her but if she'd have cheated he would have seen what was going on, not just found out this morning from some nosey nurse. Had she been faithful to me this whole time?

It made me feel worse. Now I couldn't justify to myself why everything had happened. There was no reason. Nita pulled away from me. She hadn't cried.

"This is all your fault. You did this to her, how could you do it. She's never done anything."

"Nita that's enough. This isn't your dad's fault. I know it's hard but you can't blame him he's all you've got left." I didn't even look to see who had spoke. How long had she known? She knew which meant that she hated me. I'd lost everything and it wouldn't be long until she told everyone the truth. She didn't have her mum to loss now, she was angry and hurting, she was going to make me pay. She knew it was my fault. She knew more than I thought she did maybe even for years. Why had Kirsty not protected her more? I bet she told her just to get one over on me. Rage filled me. How could Kirsty care so little about our daughter? Why would she want her to know what had been going on? So that she would like her more than she liked me. Nita's always been and daddy's girl and even if she has known for ages she has still been one. Maybe she didn't realise how much she loved Kirsty until now just like me.

People were staring at me wondering what I was going to do next. I was still sat looking up at Nita.

"Baby, please." I stood moving towards my daughter knowing that anything I did now would never make up for what I'd done.

**Adam**

She was strong, she'd fought to get away there was no way she was giving up now, so there was no way I was giving up now.

"Charging three sixty, stand clear," and she jumped the pulse shooting though her but there was still nothing. Tess had left, Emily had left, Zoe had left, everyone had left until it was only Jay and I left fighting to bring her back to us.

"Adam, it's been too long. We have to stop, she's gone." Jay had given up too.

"No, no she's not just one more time. She's not going to leave us. She fought; she fought to get away from him, to get to us. She wants to live, we can't give up."

"One last time that is it."

It didn't work. She did not come back to us. Her body jumped; then she lay still. The monitors let out the usual droning, continuous bleep showing no change in her heart beat. Jay checked her pulse and shook his head solemnly.

"I'm sorry. We all tried Adam; there was nothing more we could do." He spoke sadly with all of his hope gone. I bent down my face hovering just centimetres above hers and I whispered.

"I love you," I then kissed her forehead not caring who was looking. I drew back, hit the button on the defibrillator and shocked her one last time.

Beep, beep, beep, beep. I stared in shock at the screen. Her heart was beating. (you didn't actually think I would kill her did you)

"She's back," I said to Jay and reeled of a list of tests which needed to be done. I didn't stop to think that everybody apart from Jay and I thought she was dead; we just busied our self making sure she would stay with us and she seemed to be. I was so relieved. I actually felt a weight lift off my chest. She came back to me.

**Jay **

I couldn't believe it when I heard the beeping sound of Kirsty's heart monitor. I thought that I wanted to hear it to beep so badly that my mind was playing a very cruel trick on me but Adam heard it as well. It took us a second to believe that it had actually happened before we jumped into action.

"Need some help in here," I called joyously though the doors. I smiled as I saw the faces turn from grief to the understanding that she was still with us. Soon Kirsty's bedside was jam-packed with everyone trying to work together to make sure we didn't loss her again.

Several hours later Kirsty was stable, most people had gone home to get some much needed sleep but some of us couldn't bring our selves to leave. I was one of them. Kirsty was still unconscious and Warren and Nita hadn't left her bed side, they had also been joined by Warren's mother. I couldn't imagine Kirsty and her getting on, she was just too snooty to be Kirsty's type of person and Nita didn't seem to get on with her either. Nita reminded me so much of Kirsty, she was just at stubborn and strong. I'd been told by Emily how she had impressively held in her tears after finding out about her mum. She obviously shared her mum's trait of not letting people see her cry, show weakness or vulnerability.

I watched over the family from the doorway. She'd scared the hell out of us today and everyone was going to be watching her carefully for a while and I knew she would hate it. To say it was difficult to come to terms with the fact she was being abused right under our noses and we didn't notice was an understatement. It was hard to believe that it had ever happened to her. She always bounced into work smiling and joking leaving no hints of the torment she was going though and it seems like she did the same thing at home.

I'd dropped the ball just like everybody else. Last week when she had come into work looking dreadful I'd tried to get her to open up to me, I suspected something was wrong but I'd been caught up in a busy shift and forgotten to go back and ask her about it. She had disappeared for the rest of the shift I wasn't surprised I just thought she had come to her senses and gone home but later I saw Adam helping her though the ED and into his car. She looked worst now and could barely stand on her own. I'd completely forgotten about it by the next time I saw her.

I feel so guilty for not following her making sure she was ok. Maybe I could have gotten her to open up to me and she wouldn't have had to go to St James's today.

"Penny for your thoughts." I turned to see Emily standing on the other side of the doorway looking up at me with her amazing sea blue eyes.

"I missed this. I might have been able to make her open up to me a week ago." I said guiltily.

"No way, I've been trying for months. She was determined to make sure nobody ever found out. Stop being so hard on yourself, you saved her life today, that's enough for now. If you really feel that guilty then you could always spend your life inventing a time machine," she smiled playfully at me waiting for my reaction.

"That's a great idea I'll just go and get started." Her smile widened showing her white teeth. I smiled back not able to look away from her captivating smile. She then glanced over to Kirsty and her smile faded.

"Hey, come here." I said stepping towards her and wrapping her up in my arms. She laid her head on my chest and I breathed in the smell of her hair, coconut. We stayed in that position for a while before we pulled apart.

"Coffee?" I questioned.

"That would be lovely," and we walked of in the direction of the staffroom.

**Adam **

Kirsty was moved up to a ward some time during the early morning. After that I could find no reason to stick around so I headed home. I'd been home just over an hour and I'd already phoned the hospital twice to check on her. She was stable and doing well. Now that I was sure she was ok I crawled under the covers of my bed. It had never been more comfortable and I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

I was jolted awake by the sound of my doorbell ringing.

"Just coming," I shouted hauling myself out of bed.

I opened the front door and was astonished to see who was stood in front of me.

"Jess," was all I managed to say.

"Hey, I tried phoning but there was no answer." I had no answer for her. She had left me and now she was stood on my door step after one of the worst days of my life with a wary smile on her face. It soon faded as I stood staring at her and didn't gesture for her to come in.

"You going to invite me in?" I stood aside with out a word and she walked though into the kitchen.

**Kirsty's alive yayayayay. It's not very realistic but my evilness wouldn't work if it was! Warren's gone WAY out of character compared to the show but I wanted people to see the good side of him, the side that loves Kirsty, as well and the frothing at the mouth mental one. **

**I added the Warren bit for Dudeybob because I wanted to show that he was feeling guilt but he also realises how much he loved her and that he doesn't want to loss her. **

**Sararah- hope you like it he brought her back! I really couldn't kill her, she really does need to be with Adam. **

**Hannah louise16x- thank you for all the info on Jess. I'm glad you felt sorry for Warren. It's what I was going for even though he's drowning in self pity in this chapter. I really don't know how Adam will react when seeing Jess I'm just going to see what comes to me at the time!**

**Lisa95- sorry I love Kirsty too much to kill her off in my fic hopefully it's still heating up. **

**If you want to give me any pointers they would be greatly received. Next chapter Jess returns!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Adam**

"How are you?" I asked as we sat at my kitchen table, both cupping our freshly made coffee's. It was the first thing I had said since she'd stepped into the house.

"Better, a lot better. Adam, I'm sorry for leaving, I truly am but I was in a bad place I needed to clear my head. I couldn't cope here with you and everything that reminded me so much of him. It was too painful. I couldn't cope, I'm sorry," and with that a tear rolled down her cheek. I leaned forward wiping it away with the pad of my thumb. It was something I'd done many times but the feel of her soft cheek under my thumb brought a lump to my throat. She'd come back, maybe even for me. It was still hard though. I loved her and the kids so much and when they left me I felt cold and empty. I didn't know what to do with myself at first. There was this big hole and nobody to fill it. Slowly I rebuilt my life, it took a long time but I got there. Could I really face losing them again? I couldn't do it. I wouldn't be able to carry on if they left me again.

I know why she left. It was painful to be around the house and her when they reminded me so much of him but it was so much more painful being alone and sat in a big silent house. That day was meant to be the happiest of our lives but instead it ended up being the worst. She was at in front of me staring into her cup. I was fixated on her face trying to memorise everything about it. It had been so long since I'd last seen her that my memories were getting hazy.

We fell into silence neither of us knowing what to say next. I sipped my coffee before starting.

"Jess," she took her eyes off the mug in front of her and brought them up to mine, "I've always understood why you had to leave. It was painful, almost too much to bear and it was everyday no where I went ever took it away. I wanted to get away from it as well, so much but I knew that where ever I went it would all still be there but why come back, why now?" She remained silent. I looked deep into her beautiful brown, warm eyes. They reminded me so much of all the good times we shared together. They had changed slightly since then. Now there was a small part of them which carried Harry and what had happened to him.

"It just seemed like the right time," she spoke softly and sadly. I wanted I comfort her but there was something unseen which held me back.

"I loved you both so much. I thought it was too much; I couldn't stand to loss you as well. We were growing apart; I couldn't bear for us to end up bitter and unhappy not after it had been so wonderful between us. I couldn't let that happen.

At first I resented you for saving me and not our baby. You should have saved him first and it took a long time for me to see that you just did the best you could in an awful situation. I wish it could have been different.

When I left I thought I could leave all of the memories behind, that they wouldn't haunt me as much if I was somewhere else. I was wrong only this time I'd pushed you away and didn't have you either. I'd lost you both when I could have held onto you. I've thought of coming back so many times but I couldn't stop the thoughts that you wouldn't want to see me and that you didn't love me anymore. I was scared you wouldn't want me in your life.

Linda could see how unhappy being away from you made me. She tried to talk me into coming back but I couldn't face it, not then, I wasn't ready. Slowly I learnt to live with out you but then I met this guy. He was sweet and charming but all I could do was compare him to you. That's when I knew I had to come back. I have to know where we stand, if there's still a chance for us. I don't want to rush into anything I've got Amelia and Lucas to think of. I just want to know how you feel; about everything." Tears fell down her cheeks as she spoke and all I wanted to do was to wipe them away and hold her but I held back and let her speak desperately wanting to know what she was going to say. She finished I didn't have to think of what I wanted to say I'd gone over this moment in my head thousands of times.

"I love you Jess. I always have. Even when you left I couldn't deny the fact that I loved you. Sometimes I think what you did was for the best. We were both grieving and neither of us was ready to talk to the other about what had happened. Other times though I can't believe you gave up on us. We could have got through it together. I've learned to live with what has happened and although it's painful and some days I have to force myself out of bed I'm living my life. Now I can smile when I think of him. That took a long time and my heart will never fully heal from losing him. I remember his cheeky little giggle when he got tickled under his chin, I remember how happy we were and all the memories we shared as a family." Tears were trailing down both our cheeks, both in happiness and sadness. Our memories were perfect but that's all they were, memories.

I stood and move over to Jess wrapping my arms around her giving her the comfort she wanted and receiving the comfort I wanted.

**Kirsty**

I'd been held up in the hospital for what seemed like years. I wasn't sure exactly how long it was, but it was defiantly was too long. I wanted to get out. Everyone was suffocating me; they popped in all the time before, after and during shifts and sometimes all three. Everybody had been to visit me, everybody apart from the person I really wanted to see. Every time someone entered my room I expected to see him but he had never come. Did he really not care? Or had he realised what I am. He was the one person I didn't expect to react the way he has. He thought he knew me but now he knows the truth he doesn't want anything to do with me. He knows that I'm a bad person he knows what I was trying to hide. I don't blame him but I had held out hope that he wouldn't mind when he found out the truth. I was wrong, he hadn't bothered to come and see me because he knows me better than anyone else. He knows what kind of person I really am, that I'm not worth it and now he wants nothing to do with me. It was all ruined. I could no longer spend time with him just being friends the best friendship I'd ever had but I wanted so much more from it than that but now it was over, destroyed forever and now I didn't even have his friendship his absence showed that much.

All I wanted to do was get out of bed find Adam and tell him the truth. Who really caused my injuries, to explain that it wasn't his fault, it was mine. They all felt sorry for me but if they knew the truth they wouldn't. They would know I deserved everything I got. It wouldn't be right to burden anyone with that knowledge. When it first started I didn't believe that it was all my fault. I didn't want to believe it was my fault but over the years I've excepted that it is. I just wish I knew how to change it to make it better, change it so what ever I did that was so wrong would be right again. I spent hours cooking and cleaning making sure everything was spotless but there was always a reason. Some of them seemed petty but the reason was still there and no matter how hard I tried everything I did was never good enough.

Everyone spent their time sat beside me trying to hoax me into talking and it was seriously grating on me. I knew I couldn't talk to them so I spent their visits restraining myself and trying to hold an empty look in my eyes. I kept questioning why I was doing this, why she suddenly had the same command over me Warren did but it was simple, because she knew. She had known this whole time and never once let on. She'd seen my injuries on many occasions and listened while I told my excuses to how I got them. She had backed her own son and to hell with me, the mother of her granddaughter, not that she showed that she even likes Nita.

Now she controls my life. She wouldn't even let me speak to warren when he had sat beside me lovingly holding my hand in his begging me to talk to him. Out of everyone Warren had been the worst one to ignore for two reasons. Number one is that he never shows me love and when he does I want to lap up every second of it knowing that it won't last long and number two being that Warren has always ruled me when I was around him. It felt so wrong not to be doing something he said. I kept expecting him to fly of the handle and 'teach' me to obey him, just like he had done at the beginning before I'd learnt it was best to do as he said simply to avoid the pain.

Kathy went about ruling me in a completely different way. She showed me no violence, not that she could have gotten away with it with me being in hospital but instead she threatened to expose me as a battered wife. There was no way I could have everybody looking at me that way so I did as she said. I might already be getting some of those looks because of the whole David thing but if they actually knew the truth those looks would be a lot worse. I would be seen as the weakest of the weak for letting David take the blame for something my husband did to me and they would hate me when they found out that it was my fault it happened, that they'd spent their time worrying about someone who wasn't worth it. Thankfully they hadn't caught David yet and people kept reassuring me I was safe and that he couldn't come back to get me. Little did they know that the person they thought was a million miles away from me now was sat beside me, hidden under a mask of deception and when I went home it would be to him and the bed we shared together.

In a way it was easier to stay quiet. I knew if I started talking I would have a mountain of questions to answer, questions which I have no answers to and I would have to start with the police. They had already been to visit me asking their questions and getting frustrated when I didn't answer them. In the end they gave in knowing that they couldn't force me to talk to them and there was nothing more they could do.

Warren had been fighting my corner whilst I remained mute. He knew how much I would hate being stuck in hospital and kept trying to persuade them to let me come home with him. This morning he had finally won them around and I was being released this afternoon. It was a relieved knowing that I wouldn't have the twenty plus visitors a day but I was scared about how I was going to handle being at home with Warren and Nita. I didn't know if I would be allowed to talk to them there and if I wasn't would Warren beat me until I did?

Warren had accepted Kathy's offer to stay with us until I was back on my feet so she would be standing over my shoulder twenty-four seven making sure I didn't put so much as a toe out of place. I was nothing more than a puppet to them. Just as Warren has released the strings Kathy was there to pull them tightly back into place instead. It did however take of the burden of how I was going to explain what had been happening to me but I desperately wanted to talk to my daughter, to hug her back and mostly to tell her I love her just like I'd promised myself I would do while I was lying beside David. But I was unwilling to stand up to them. It would ruin Nita's life and mine. She would be devastated and shocked because she never saw it coming she would probably blame me and say I was making it all up. There was no way I could do that to her. I've stayed with Warren for fourteen years so that she could have a family so I'm not giving up on it now. So instead I'll just buy my time. I can't stay silent forever.

**I don't really know Jessica as a character so she could be completely out of character but I've tried to make her everything I've heard about her. I can rewrite this chapter if you're not happy with Jessica. I went for the evil 'step' mother hope you like it, she's about to get worse. **


	21. Chapter 21

**Emily**

I'd been to visit Kirsty everyday since I left the hospital a couple of days ago. I found it so hard to leave. I'd been there for over seventy-two hours, just over three days but it seemed like half a life time. I felt like I knew everyone, almost like I had become part of their family and I didn't want to give that up. I'd been home for less than twenty minutes in over a week. I'd run in packed a bag and run out again. I'd been crashing in Jay's spare room ever since, it was so much nearer the hospital than mine. I'd been going into work with him and Tess even suggested that I covered Kirsty's shifts. It felt weird, but everyone was so welcoming that the feeling didn't last long and soon it just felt like home. I popped up to visit Kirsty every chance I got. She was doing a lot better but still hadn't spoken a word. She still looked broken. It was awful to see her looking so small and lost under the white sheets. I'd noticed how thin she was, I'd been in her room a couple of times when a meal came in but she made no attempt eat, she didn't even acknowledge that it was in front of her. She'd been feed through a drip the whole time she was here and I'd wondered more than once how we would be able to get her to eat when she was discharged. I'd heard talk of transferring her to the psychiatric ward but most people were against it after seeing another colleague Ruth admitted just a couple of weeks ago.

I thought it might have been for the best if she went but nobody wanted to see her there. She obviously isn't dealing with everything and nobody seems able to get through to her and with out admitting her to the psychiatric ward I didn't see a way to break through the wall she had built. In the end she was allowed to go home in the hope that being there would make her feel more comfortable and speed up her recovery but mostly we hoped that being there would get her to talk sooner. One or more of us would be popping around everyday to check on her and change her dressings and monitor her recovery. I just hope that whatever it is that's making Kirsty hold her wall in place will stay at the hospital and won't go home with her.

**Warren**

Kirsty had woken but still refused to speak, even after I begged her to. I resorted to sitting beside her and holding her hand and being thankful that she didn't pull away. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if she'd have died. We both knew it was all my fault but I was going to spend the rest of my life making it up to her.

It had been a week since David had taken her and she was finally being allowed to come home. I knew how much she hated staying hospitals so I'd practically begged for her to be allowed home. She hadn't spoken the entire time, not one word, not to anyone. Everybody was worried but assumed that she would start to talk when she was ready. There was nothing more they could do, so just hoped that she would open up when she thought it was the right time. I wasn't sure, but I guess she had to talk sometime. Maybe when she was at home she would be herself. I hoped that was true. She would change when she walked though the door and be her old self again.

She didn't want to answer their questions. That's why she wasn't saying anything here. She would start talking as soon as she got home because we already knew what had happened and she wouldn't have to lie to us. She was just scared of how people would react to her now they knew what had been happening to her even if they didn't know the whole truth. She was scared of being tripped up and as soon as it was just us everything would be fine again. I tried to convince myself these were her reasons for staying quiet.

Mom had offered to move in with us until Kirsty was back on her feet again and although Nita wasn't happy about it I accepted knowing how much help we would need around the house. With out Kirsty Nita and I were lost, we'd been home at nights together while Kirsty's been in hospital but with out her there the house didn't seem right. Maybe it was the atmosphere that hung between us after I found out she knew about what I'd done. What ever it was it was uncomfortable and made anger build up inside me. I needed to let it out but with out Kirsty there I'd run out of options. I would never hurt my daughter. So I held it in trying to remember that I had promised never to lay a hand on my wife again but it was so hard and she wasn't even here standing in front of me, lying to my face.

**Nita **

I wanted to tell everyone what happened that it was dad that put her in hospital. I tried but he's got them so wrapped around his little finger that they wouldn't believe me if I told them. Mum was finally home. The house had felt wrong with out her. When she was in hospital dad and I were home alone. We didn't speak most of the time and it felt like our house had turned into grandma's house before she'd even stepped through the front door. I hoped it would get better when mum was home but grandma would be here as well and I'm sure she would be hanging her dark clouds over our house while she was here.

I thought mum would change when she got home, be her normal self again but she didn't. I understood why she was silent in the hospital. She wanted to hide what he had done to her, she was ashamed but we were home now, she should be talking. She should be her usual self again but she isn't. We got home about three hours ago and she's still sat in the same stop on the sofa. She hasn't moved a mussel, with not a work passing her lips.

Dad's being trying everything to get her to talk but she just sits there with a vacant look in her eyes. I could tell he'd been expecting her to talk when we got home as well. He's worried, were both worried because she's so unlike her usual behaviour of just getting on with it and pretending everything is fine. I can't believe that grandma offered to stay with us until mum gets better and I can't believe dad let her. It's going to be a nightmare and she will probably make mum worse not better.

I want my mum to get better so much. I never want her to go through this again or any of it but I don't know if we can leave dad now, not after the way he reacted after being told that mum had 'died'. He was devastated, he fell apart. I couldn't leave him like that and I knew mum couldn't either. I know he loves her; he just can't treat her that way. He might change now, after seeing how close he got to losing her. I hope that what happened this week has opened his eyes and he's realised what he has been doing is wrong. I hope he has otherwise we will have no choice but to leave him. He will have grandma to look after him and although it won't be the same at least he will have someone. I nearly lost my mum and there is no way that I'm ever going to let anything like that happen to her again, even if it means leaving dad.

Grandma moved in straight away, she couldn't wait to get her feet under the table. She's gone shopping now for food. She was appalled at what she found in our kitchen, neither dad nor I cared. Did she really not realise we had bigger things on our mind than going food shopping.

I've tried to talk to mum but it's so hard not to get a response. I'd given up in the end. It hurt too much to talk to her and get no reply, not even a glint of recognition in her eyes. Dad however was not giving up so easily and it put my mind at rest a little to see him really trying to get her to open up. I was scared about him getting angry at her. I know he wouldn't stand for her to be silent for too long before he lashes out in anger and hurt because he can't bear for her to be this way. It would just be an attempt to get her to speak; I needed my old mum back. I didn't was her to be hurt, I just needed her back.

There was a ring on the door bell and I when I opened the front door I found Jay and Emily stood in front of me.

"Hey Nita we've come to check on your mum. She said anything yet?" Emily spoke to me kindly and I shook my head as I let them in and led them into the lounge. I wasn't surprised to see mum in the same spot still staring in front of her ignoring everything. Dad was at her feet still trying to get her to talk but wasn't having any luck. The tone in his voice wasn't the same as usual and I could tell he was getting very frustrated with her. He got up and welcomed Emily and Jay in and offered them drink, suddenly changing into the model husband.

The three of them went into the kitchen. I could hear them discussing mum. They weren't going to let her stay here long if she didn't speak. The only reason they had let her come home early was in the hope that she would speak when she got here. It seems like that wasn't going to happen so what were they going to do next? I conversation continued but I couldn't listen to it any longer. I rushed up to my bedroom half slamming the door behind me turned on my radio and hit the volume increase button.

I lay on my bed tears falling freely over my cheeks for the first time since I'd cried at grandmas almost a week ago now. Why was she doing this? All she needed to do was talk one word and everything would be better but it was like she didn't even care anymore about anything, not even me. She was going to be taken away from me and there was nothing that I could do about it. The only person who could do anything about it was mum and she didn't care enough about me to do it. Why was this happening? Why was she refusing to speak? Had being trapped really been that awful? Or was there something else which I didn't know about? I had so many questions and no one to answer them. The only person I wanted to answer them was mum and she couldn't or wouldn't.

My bedroom door was pushed open slowly and Emily's head poked around it. Quickly and fiercely I whipped my fallen tears hoping they would go unnoticed. I could tell from the look on her face that they hadn't.

"Honey, its ok," she walked over to me perching beside me on the bed. She placed her hand motherly on my arm just like mum would have done if she found me like this. Then the tears came freely once more. Emily pulled me into a hug and stroked my hair. It was the most anyone had done for me all week. I closed my eyes and pretended that it was my mum that was holding me, comforting me not some stranger I'd met twice. The truth is Emily didn't feel like a stranger, she just seemed to fit.

"What's going on in here?" I tensed hearing my grandma's voice coming from the doorway. Emily felt my discomfort and spoke for me.

"We were just a little sad that Kirsty hasn't spoken yet." She sounded like she was talking to a small child and I could see that Emily had immediately got on the wrong side of grandma.

"My granddaughter doesn't need the likes of you to tell her how she is feeing. Us Clements's are made of tough stuff. Come on Nita I need a hand with dinner," and with that she strut out of my room expecting me to follow, I gave Emily a sorry look before I followed.

** Thank you so much for reviewing it means a lot to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading :D**


	22. Chapter 22

**I'm really sorry this has taken so long to post, I've had some problems since the last time I updated and I wasn't able to use my laptop so this chapter has been sat half finished for a while. Hope you like it. I will up date soon. **

**Adam**

Jess had brought back so many old memories. She was asleep in my bed while I lay awake on the sofa thinking. She'd come back to ask me how I felt and if there was still a chance for us but how do I tell her I have no idea what I feel or if there's a chance for us. She'd come looking for answers but I didn't know what they were.

We'd spent the last couple of days just talking things over. We didn't even left the house. I was meant to be thinking of Jess and coming up with answers to give her but all I could find myself thinking about was Kirsty. She haunted me. Every time I closed my eyes she was there. I saw flashes of her, some of her lying in the shower or being wheeled into rhesus, others where her in David's arms but the strongest ones were of her lying in the badly lit blood soaked corridor. The flashes were my reminder of her in the day, and at night there were the dreams. In these dreams I would desperately try to save her only to have her slip through my fingers and cruelly taken away from me.

I would wake covered in sweat gasping for that first breath and then all I could think about was Kirsty. Anything and everything about her, one of the more common thoughts was about the nightmare she had had and that I witnessed. I was having nightmares about her now. I'd phoned the hospital none stop asking about her when Jess was out of ear shot. I didn't want to upset her but I did have to tell her about Kirsty sooner or later. The only thing was Kirsty wasn't mine to tell her about. She was married they had Nita, nothing about her situation involved me but she was such a huge part of my life. I don't know how I would even start to explain to Jess about Kirsty. It was all so complicated.

**Jay**

The front door to Kirsty's house closed behind us and I turned to look at Emily. She was supporting the same look as me and we both erupted into laughter.

"God and I thought my mum was bad, never again will she hear a complaint from me. I now know how good I've got it."

"Yer, I've lumped down some tea cakes for my gran but did you see that slop she was calling food." We stood for a moment at the end of the drive grinning like school children at each other before I placed my arm around her shoulders and we started walking back to mine.

We were silent after that but it was a strangely comfortable silence. My thoughts quickly returned to Kirsty. She still looked lost and alone and nobody could reach her. We had all held out hope that being at home would change her, heal some part of her that couldn't be fixed whilst she was in hospital but it seems we were wrong. It's breaking her family. I could tell that Warren and Nita's relationship was heading from bad to worse and I didn't know how long they could carry on with out her. Their relationship looks so rocky and Kathy is only adding to that not making it any easier.

I couldn't understand why Kirsty had just shut down. She had apparently been living with it for years so why now? Was it shame or had it finally become too much and this was the only way she could deal with what has happening? I wanted to know I wanted to help, everyone did. We all felt guilty that we hadn't spotted the signs earlier; that we could have made a difference if we'd taken more time to stop and look, we could have changed it, so that it didn't have to end the way it did. But it had and now we were all trying to make up for not noticing but it was all too late. I was scared that it was too late and now we were going to have to section her. There seemed to be no other way forward. She wouldn't sleep or eat, she wouldn't even acknowledge anyone. There was nothing else we could do. She would be given a week at home, probably less but if nothing changed then what else could we do.

I sighed deeply causing Emily to stop and turn to face me.

"I know, but what else can we do. We can't force her to do anything. It just so frustrating not being able to do anything, we help, that's our job but when we can't," she paused looking for the right word.

"We feel useless," I finished for her.

"Yer," she sighed her blue eyes looking sadly into mine.

"Come here," I pulled her into a hug, resting my cheek on her forehead, "she will get there, it's just going to take longer than we thought." I hoped that we could get her through this; we just needed to know how.

**Kirsty**

I'd been sat motionless on the sofa ever since I'd got back from the hospital. I couldn't even get myself a glass of water let alone make myself a coffee. I just sat trying to hold my mask in place. I felt it slip ever so often before I pulled myself together knowing the consequences that I would have to face if I didn't.

The creak of a door opening slowly from above me made me tense with fear. The house had been quiet for hours now everyone had gone to bed. I listened as the footsteps came down the stairs and along the hall every inch of me screaming at me desperately to run but I was frozen to the spot. The door opened excruciatingly slowly. My heart was beating a million miles an hour and I suddenly realised how hot I was. My back was to the door so I had no idea who was behind me. Their hand rested on my shoulder. My stomach was churning, my mind racing, trying to think of ways to stop anything that was about to happen. My hands were clenched and sweaty in my lap, the heavy hand resting on my shoulder for a couple of second. My breathing was quick even though I tried to keep it under control. I couldn't show my fear. It made me weaker. I had something to concentrate on if I had to hold onto my strength.

"Mum," Nita's uncertain voice filled me with relief. I took a slow, calming breath but continued to stare in front of me. I'd expected the worst when it had just been my daughter. She came and sat beside me I could see her eyes wide with worry. Seeing her like this was making me want to cry, but it was for the best. She sat beside me for a while studying the side of my face.

"I love you mum." A giant lump caught in my throat at hearing these words, she loves me. Then she leaned over and wrapped her arms around me. She drew back too soon leaving nothing but cold air around me and I was once again left by myself. She kissed my fore head then headed back up stairs to her bedroom. The second I heard her bedroom door close I couldn't hold it in any longer. I wept silently, not letting so much as a whimper of sound out into the silent house. Tears fell down my cheeks, the lumps caught in my throat and I fought to swallow them.

I quickly regained control again and took a quick look around the room just to check that there was, in fact, nobody watching me. I always got a creepy feeling like somebody was when I was in this house. The house was dark with nothing but the light from the street lamp outside coming through the window. Lots of the corners were pitch-black and I looked at them nervously, scared at what might jump out at me. Shadows hung from everything making the room feel daunting. All I wanted to do was hide under the covers or run and turn on the light. I felt like a child, a frightened little defenceless child. One who runs through the darkness to the safety of their own bed and hides under the covers from 'monsters.' Only now the monster from my childhood doesn't lie in the void under my bed or hiding in my closet waiting to pounce; now he lies in my bed waiting for me to come to him, as I always do.

I don't have my mum or dad to come running to me to dry my tears when I wake screaming in the night after a nightmare, I have him, the one who caused my nightmares. I can live with it though, for her, as long as he isn't causing her any of these things. I could give her a family; I do give her a family. We would have a family for as long as I held it together.


	23. Chapter 23

**Jay**

I slumped onto the staffroom sofa and glanced at the clock, I still had four hours to go till the end of my shift. It had been a particularly busy day in the ED, well morning but it felt like it had been so much longer. I sighed before getting up and flicking the switch on the kettle.

"Is there one going for me?" I smiled as soon as I heard her voice.

"Depends," I turned away from the kettle to see Emily walking towards me.

"On what," The cheeky glint in her eye turning my stomach into jelly. Crap now I had to think of something.

"Dinner?" I asked hoping that she would say yes. I already knew where I wanted to take her, I had it all planned out. I was just waiting for the right time to ask, this seemed to be it.

"Depends," she said cocking her head to one side as she grinned at me.

"On what," I couldn't contain my smile and it widened to match hers.

"Where were going?"

"That would be a surprise." I teased but was still unwilling to tell her where I was taking her.

"Really?" she questioned her eyebrows rising mischievously.

"Yes, really," I wasn't backing down I wanted it to be a surprised.

"Well it looks like I'm making my own coffee then doesn't it." I stood staring at her for a second wondering what just happened. Not knowing quiet what to do next I stood in the same position as she moved around me and stole the now boiled water from the kettle and poured it into her mug.

"Hey," I regained control of my body.

"You snooze, you loose." She replied looking over her shoulder at me as she sunk into the sofa. I looked at her disbelievingly before turning back to the kettle and refilling it. Where did that go wrong?

**Kirsty**

Nita was at school and Warren had gone out somewhere I think it might have been to the shops, I'm not sure but I did know that I had been left alone with Kathy and she wasn't happy with me. I'd done everything she asked, I'd stayed silent for this whole time never uttering a word to anyone apart from her. I'd ignored my husband and daughter on her word because she'd threatened to expose Warren. Thinking back on it now it seems stupid for course she wasn't going to expose him. She'd known this whole time and never stuck up for me once. She'd always had his back but I couldn't work out why she was doing this. Why was it so important to her for me to stay silent? I had no idea and now she was shouting at me, her face red and crunched angrily. Spit flew from her mouth and she reminded me of spike my family's dog when he played tug of war. What had I done to make her so furious? I'd never seen her like this before.

"You think I don't know." I stared at her blankly not having the foggiest about what she was on about. Lucky she didn't stop for an answer.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid that I wouldn't notice?" still my blank look continued and as she paused for an answer I started to panic realising I didn't have one.

"Don't play dumb with me, I know about your little mid-night meetings with Nita and I'm telling you now they have to stop." I knelt up on the sofa to make us of more equal height, my forehead on level with her nose. I tilted my head back trying to show her that I wasn't afraid of her and looked daringly into her eyes. I cut across her speech.

"But how, if I can't talk to her how can I tell her to stop?" I questioned angrily.

Rage filled her eyes and I was so fixated on them I didn't see her fist flying towards me. I heard the sickening smack of her palm against my cheek as the force knocked me sideways onto the sofa and I found myself curled up in a ball trying to protect myself from any further blows that might or might not be coming. I let the tears fall over my cheeks not caring anymore whether she saw them or not. She was still stood over me as I let out a loud sob. This was too much I couldn't do this anymore. I wanted to speak, to move, to do my job, see my friends but most of all comfort my daughter. I carried on sobbing loudly and she just stood over me looking down on the mess that I'd become, and I just didn't care any longer.

**Warren**

I struggled through the front door with arms full of shopping. Mom had given me a long list of groceries she wanted me to get; the only trouble now was finding cupboard space to put them in. I dumped the plastic bags in the hall and started to make my way back out to the car when I heard crying coming from the living room. I swapped directions and made my way into the living room unsure of what I was going to find. Kirsty hadn't done anything for the past couple of days but was crying a step forwards or backwards? I turned the corner into the living room and was shocked at the scene in front of me.

My mom was stood angrily over my bawling wife who showed no signs of stopping.

"What happened?" I asked concernedly, the change in Kirsty scaring me slightly. Mom looked up at me guiltily before walking away from Kirsty to look out of the window. I went to Kirsty's side not knowing what to do.

"Kirst, it's me." I spoke softly. I brushed the hair that had fallen across her face and at once noticed the red mark across her cheek.

"Mom you didn't," I stood and turned to face her, "How could you be so stupid?"

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to get her to open up. It's so frustrating, she's so frustrating. I lost my temper, it won't happen again."

"How we going to explain that, bruises don't magically appear and since she hasn't moved since she got home you better get thinking." After everything I've held back she could have just ruined it. What was she doing hitting Kirsty in the first place?

**Nita **

I couldn't sleep; all I could think about was my mum. She was sat down stairs in the dark by herself. I didn't know what she had been through in that hospital but for her to act like this it must have been awful. I pulled back the covers and tip toed down the stairs carefully not to make anyone aware of my movements. I was unsure how grandma would react if she found me out of bed. It had only been a week and already my home wasn't mine anymore. I have no idea how mum put up with living with grandma from the time her parents kicked her out to some time after my first birthday when they found a house of their own. She really had lived through hell all these years and she had put up with it mostly for me. I opened the door slowly peeking around it to find her still sat in the same spot. I placed my hand on her shoulder hoping that she would turn around and greet me but she didn't. I moved in front of her but still her gaze didn't falter. I sat with her for a couple of minuets before I headed back upstairs to bed.

The rest of my night was restless. I tossed and turned trying to sleep and expel thought from my mind but I just couldn't sleep. I was thinking of mum and what would happen if she continued to make no progress. They thought I hadn't heard them earlier when they were talking about her in the kitchen. They were talking about their options, but basically they were running out of them. If she carried on on this path with out making any effort or improvement then they would have no choice but to section her. She couldn't carry on being vacant and not eating and sleeping and to them it's the only way to go from here. They wanted to take her away and lock her in some unit for crazy people and dad was going to let them. He would have grandma move in with us permanently and we would carry on lying to each other and dancing around the facts. I knew he had been hurting mum I just don't know how everybody else doesn't. She'd been in hospital surely they had seen her injuries so why were they not questioning him? Why were they being nice to him? He must have fed them another story just like he told Adam that crap about mum's parents. That nightmare was because of him, it was about him; I'm sure of it, not what he told Adam. He was just covering his tracks, making sure that he would never be found out and making it impossible for mum to leave him and to push a wedge between her and Adam.

I've got no idea how the hell he'd got away with it but he had but he was going to have a hard time trying to explain the latest bruise on her cheek. She hadn't moved from her stop on the sofa so how was he going to explain that one away. No doubt he would though and they would lap his story up like a dog laps up water on a hot day.


	24. Chapter 24

**Warren**

Kirsty's colleagues wouldn't leave us alone. I was surprised that Adam hadn't put in an appearance, were they not really that close? Did he not care about her? He brought her home that day but he did say that Tess had made him and that he had a girlfriend. Was there really nothing going on between them? I couldn't help but go over and over that question. I'd been asking myself it ever since I found that text from him but it looks like there was nothing going on after all.

Unfortunately the rest of her work colleagues weren't leaving us alone that easily they were visiting all day everyday and I wanted to scream at them to leave us alone but I had to hold up my concerned and caring husband act. I was concerned this was nothing like Kirsty but I was getting more and more frustrated and angry at her. Why was she doing this? Did she even know what she was doing? I didn't know what to think.

Mom was the one keeping me sane. She kept the house clean and tidy and she was putting meals on the table, everything Kirsty should have been doing for our family but wasn't. Mom would have never done this to dad and I, she was always there doing the right thing for us putting us above her just like Kirsty should do but doesn't. Kirsty puts her job over us, Adam over us, most things over us. Not like mom, she always had dinner waiting on the table for us the house was always spotless. Why couldn't Kirsty be more like her? Why couldn't she care about us as much as mom cared about dad and I?

Nita has spent most of her time locked in her room or out with friends. I haven't seen her probably in days. She knows the truth now and wants nothing to do with me. I can't even make Kirsty talk to her; I can't even make Kirsty talk to me. I've tried and a couple of times I've been a grain of sand away from loosing it with her but I'd managed to hold back and restrain myself, just about. I knew that her friends were hanging around too much for me to get away with it; they would pick up on almost any new injuries quickly and start asking questions and with her just sat there not moving there wouldn't be much if anything or anyone to blame it on. I could tell they felt guilty about not noticing before now and weren't about to let anything else happen. She was on their radar and not about to fall of it anytime soon, especially because she'd become a shell that doesn't talk, eat or sleep. They wanted her better, we all did and they weren't giving up on her. I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing. It's good because I know that they will give her the best treatment so that she can get better and go back to being Kirsty but on the other hand they are going to make her see a counsellor and be interfering in our lives for ages yet. The bad out weighed the good but there wasn't a lot I could do about their new presents in our lives, just hope that Kirsty starts talking soon so we can all get back to normal.

Things weren't going to be easy to fix with Nita either. I could tell she hadn't known for ages but I don't know how she did find out. She refused to talk to me, look at me or even be near to me. Mom thinks that she's not coping with the way Kirsty is reacting, or not reacting to her and I'm not about to put her straight. I've listened when mom's gone on and on to Nita about how she shouldn't be taking the situation out on me and that it's Kirsty who is refusing to speak to her and she should be glad to have a parent who is willing to be there for her and loves her unlike Kirsty. I've even listened to her tell Nita that Kirsty doesn't love her. Nita refused to believe her at first but mom kept saying it and saying that if Kirsty did love her then why was she doing this to her. I'd stepped in a couple of times when she really did go too far but I needed Nita to see that I was all she had at the moment and I was there for her whereas her mother wasn't. I wanted her to know that I would never ignore her because I loved her too much to do that to her whereas Kirsty didn't. I needed to be the good cop again. I couldn't stand to be the bad one in my daughter eyes. She's my whole world and I couldn't stand to be seen that way, not by my daughter.

In a way Kirsty was making it easier for me to get Nita back on side. I used her silence as a symbol that Kirsty didn't care for her as much as I did but it didn't seem to be working. If anything it was making her resent me more. I'd seen her biting her lip through every single one of mom's 'little chats' and if it was me I would have snapped a long time ago but she hadn't. It amazed me that she managed to showed so much restraint even when it was my mom talking to her, I know how bad she can get when she's trying to tell you what it right and what is not when you don't believe her but in the end she always gets her way and you start to believe what she is telling you right or not. I'd seen her do it many times and it always scared me a little the power she had over people no matter who it was but in this case it was a good thing and something I needed to get my daughter back and I was going to use it to my full advantage.

**Tess**

After my shift I went over to Kirsty's. I had no idea how to get through to her. Nobody else had managed to so far and I didn't think I was going to have any more luck than them. Kirsty and I had never really seen eye to eye. She was always fighting to get the best for her patients and go above and beyond to get the best for them. I never really understood why she fought so hard for this until I found out about the abuse. At first I didn't believe it. I thought there was no way that Kirsty would put up with that. Not after the rough talking too's she gave to others like her who came in. But then I thought back over the time she had been working at Holby. She'd been in her fair share of scrapes. I know better now than to believe she was mugged that evening. She was so sketchy about the details, I should have realised before. She insisted she didn't see anything and not to involve the police. I should have pushed the matter further but she seemed in control. She was a little shaken but that was all.

If I ever got my hands on David now I couldn't be held responsible for my actions and I'm sure it would be the same for everyone around here. Although sometimes misguided, Kirsty had a heart of gold, one that he took advantage of. I can't see why Kirsty put up with it. She's the most unlikely person I would have thought of to put up with it and yet she did. I'd spent quiet a bit of time over the past couple of days thinking about it. If I hadn't seen the injuries for myself I would have had a hard time believing that she let that happen to her. She was always fighting to get the best treatment for abuse victims and urging them to leave their partners and yet all along she was one of them and did nothing about it. Ignoring the advice she gave to others and demanding that they make the change in their lives for the better when all along she was too scared to take her own advice and to do it for herself.

It was going to take along time before she got back to her old self, if she ever did. If the past few weeks were anything to go by I didn't hold up much hope.

The first thing I noticed when I saw Kirsty was a fresh bruise on her cheek. Apparently she hadn't moved since they had brought her home so how did she get it.

"I don't know," I hadn't spoken out loud but I guessed I'd been staring at the bruise and Warren had seen me, "I came down this morning and there it was. I can't work out how she did it but if she's up and moving around that's a good sign isn't it?" he look hopefully at me as I nodded slowly.

I left Kirsty's house feeling slightly uneasy. I hadn't managed to get a word out of her or even look at me but there was something else, something more was wrong but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. There was the bruise for starters but it seemed to be more than that. I poured myself a glass of wine and settled down on my sofa flicking on the TV trying to concentrate on something else.

**Kirsty**

Everyone had been to visit me. Noel and Big Mac came yesterday they didn't stay long. It got very awkward very fast when they could find nothing to talk about with Warren and Kathy was giving them dirty looks from the doorway, they soon made their excuses and left. They had tried to talk to me and told me what I had missed and all the gossip, which earned them even more dirty looks and even a couple of tuts which made me very close to letting out a laugh luckily I swallowed it but they had given up before they came knowing that we weren't very close and the chances of them being able to get me to speak was very slim.

Tess had come this morning she noticed within milliseconds of seeing me the new bruise on my cheek but she brought the story which Warren undoubtedly had ready for when the questions came. She hadn't given up as easily as Noel and Big Mac she sat with me talking about the ED how everyone misses me and she even spoke about Emily and Jay and how everyone can see that there perfect for each other but they are still unwilling to admit it and giving each other the run around. I was happy for them. I think they would make a perfect couple they seem so well suited. They have come over here a couple of times together they have never come apart and they look and sound like a couple already. Just like Noel and Big Mac, Tess gave me little up-dates on everyone but they all failed to mention Adam. I desperately needed to hear about him and hoped every time the door rang that it would be him coming to visit me but it never was. I'd got to the point of sitting through peoples 'up-dates' praying that they would mention Adam but no one ever did. Did he just fall of the face of the earth?

Nita hadn't been down for one of her midnight visits for a couple of nights. It was most likely because Kathy had found out about them and had put them to an abrupt stop. I couldn't imagine how hard all of this was on Nita but I knew it wasn't half as hard as finding out the truth. At least I could still protect her from that. I smiled slightly as I heard the familiar sound of a bed room door opening. She was coming to see me. She slipped into the room and found her usual spot beside me. She was quiet for a couple of minuets before she started.

"Mum, its ok to talk to me. I'm on your side I always will be. I need you to get better. If you don't how will we ever get away. You can't carry on like this. What are you going to do sit here in this spot for the rest of your life? I know, everything. I'm not going to let it continue. I love you, that's why we have to go." She reached up gingerly and gently touched the bruise on my cheek, she'd thought Warren had done it to me; she knew.

For the first time in weeks I acknowledged someone other than Kathy. I turned my head in shock to look at her.

"You know?" I whispered like a small child with a secret. She nodded not being able to bring herself to speak. "I'm sorry, so, so sorry. You were never meant to know. I never wanted you to know." I couldn't believe she knew. I knew things had been bad between her and Warren since I'd been home but I'd had no idea why. Tears slipped down my cheeks both in sadness and relief. She didn't hate me but she should never have had to live with this burden.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart." I cupped her face in my hands holding on desperately to the feel of her warm cheeks under my cold hands, hoping that it wasn't going to fade away like all the times I'd imagined this moment whilst sat here.

"No I'm sorry mum. I should have known. I shouldn't have always taken his side." I cut her off there this was not her fault and I was going to make sure she knew that.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me." I looked deeply into her eyes telling her that none of this was her fault. I knew she would need more reassurance than this but it was a start. I pulled her into a hug and never wanting to let go and then I whispered the three words I'd so badly wanted to tell her for what seemed like an eternity.

"I love you."

"I love you to mum," and with that more tears fell over my cheeks.


	25. Chapter 25

**Adam**

At long last I had been able to sort out my head. I knew what I wanted I just couldn't have it; but I knew I couldn't go backwards either. Having Jess here for one week had been hard enough, I don't think I could face seeing her long term. It has taken me a long time to get to the point I'm at now but I can feel myself slipping backwards. I still get the feeling that she blames me for not saving Harry. She says she doesn't but it's all I can think about when I look at her. Does she really not blame me anymore or is she just saying it? The thing is when I look at her I blame myself. I can't help it she makes me feel guilty and I can't live with facing her everyday. I failed to save our son, our baby boy; I made a choice, one which cost him his life. If I'd made the other one I could have lost both of them or saved both of them.

I can't carry on thinking it over and over again, eventually I just have to say I made a choice, I can't change it now and that choice saved Jess. I don't know how I'm going to tell Jess. How am I going to tell her that I'm not strong enough to see her everyday, that it hurts too much to see the memories of that day but it's all I can see when I look at her. Her lifeless form was cold to touch so near death, just like Kirsty's had been when I found her over a week ago but I longed to go and see her even if it was to just watch her from a distance but she had been discharged now and my chance had been lost. She still wasn't speaking and it worried me deeply. Everyone was doing everything they could to help her and I hadn't even been to see her once. It's not that I didn't want to go and see her, I did more than anything; I just found that I couldn't. If I went and she still look so broken and lost I don't think I could hold it together. Everyone would know, if they already don't; how much I love her and that would cause nothing but trouble.

I keep thinking in circles, going round and round, thinking between Kirsty and Jess. I had one horrifying day with Jess but I had a handful of those awful memories with Kirsty where she was, or I thought she was dead or dying and still all I wanted to do was look at her, hold her and be near her. It just wasn't the same with Jess, not any more. I hadn't seen Kirsty for too long and I found myself thinking about more and more. I could barely get through a minuet with out one thought or another about her. Jess noticed how distracted I was as well. Even when we were talking I would find myself daydreaming and being snapped out of is with Jess looking at me expectantly. I had to explain.

**Nita **

I didn't dare turn my bedroom light on whilst I packed, I fumbled around in the darkness trying to find everything I wanted pack. I knew we could never come back so anything I wanted to keep had to be packet now. I was opening and closing cupboards and draws at a snails pace trying to keep silent, scared that any noise I made would wake dad or grandma and I would be found and ruin any chance we had of ever escaping. I pulled out my school sports bag and replaced my gym kit with clothes. I couldn't believe we were actually leaving, we'd moved lots of times before but this just felt weird after tomorrow I wouldn't see my dad again, ever. I was worried about mum as well she hadn't spoken in weeks and now we where running away. Was it too soon would she be able to cope? When she finally did speak she sounded ok which made me question why she was silent in the first place but she must have had her reasons. I couldn't see her not speaking to me just because she didn't feel like it. I tucked a photo album down the side of my bag and zipped it closed. I was packed.

School went extremely slowly yet amazingly fast at the same time. I was waiting but at the same time this was my last day. I watched the clock go around in lessons every second feeling like two or three. I couldn't tell anybody that I wasn't going to be here tomorrow and almost certainly never see them again so I lapped up ever second I could with my friends and used lunch time to take pictures on my phone of us all together. I don't know how I got away with it but they all seemed to think it was a great idea. And then it was three thirty and the end of the day bell rang. The usual smiles appeared as school was over for another day and students pilled out of the school gates. Good bye school.

**Kirsty **

We were finally getting away. I'd finally got the courage, well Nita gave it to me, and we were going today. It meant the world that Nita knew and understood the reason for us leaving and she supported the decision to leave. Nita was meeting me outside McDonalds after school. She'd told Warren and Kathy that she was going to a friend's after school so wouldn't be home for tea so everything was in action all I had to do now was get some things together and get out of the house while Warren and Kathy were out.

I would never again get to see Adam. I don't know why I care about him so much; he obviously doesn't care about me. He's the only one who hasn't been to visit me this whole time, yet he was the only one I really wanted to. If he had visited I don't know if I could have held everything together. I would probably have broken down the second he held my hand. He could have been the one to break through to me but he didn't even try. He didn't care. I blinked back a couple of tears which were threatening to fall. Warren and Kathy couldn't see them. They weren't leaving for a while yet but I kept going through and through exactly what I was going to do when they finally left.

I waited nervously continuing to hold my mask in place. My mask would soon be shed and I could be myself again but the thought of it scared me more than anything. I'd spent the best part of two weeks doing anything apart from being myself and soon I could let life enter my eyes and be able to respond to simple questions and the freedom was daunting. What would Warren and Kathy do when they found out that we had gone? What would we do once we had gone? It's not like I had a lot of money or anywhere to go. Tonight we would be alone in the world, running and scared hoping and praying that he would never catch-up with us but I couldn't back out now I'd promised Nita that we would get away that he would never hurt me again so that's what we were going to do. I was meeting Nita at four, I looked at the clock, it was twenty minuets past one, Warren and Kathy should be leaving any minuet now. My heart started beating faster in anticipation.

Finally the front door closed and I was left alone. I waited a couple of minuets just to be sure that they weren't coming back for anything they had forgotten and then I slowly stood from what had become my spot on the sofa. I looked around everything looked the same. I made my way cautiously to the door and peered around the frame just to check I was alone. Seeing nobody I broke into a full speed run up the stairs and into Nita's room closing the door firmly behind me. She'd packed a couple of bags which she had stashed under her bed and I bent down to fish them out. I placed them on her bed before running across the landing into mine and Warren's room and started searching for my rucksack to stuff some clothes in before getting the hell out of this house before Warren or Kathy came home.

The quiet creaking of the en-suit door opening behind me sent me into panic. I turned eyes wide with shock to see warren stood in the doorway looking like the cat that got the cream. Roots grew from my feet into the floor making it impossible for me to move. I was frozen with everything moving in slow motion. I watched as Warren stepped out of the bathroom and got closer and closer to me. Still I couldn't move; there was no escape even if I could muster up the courage to move. He stood between the bedroom door and the en-suit door I had nowhere to go but further into the bedroom. I watched as his hands moved from there casual hanging place at his sides upward, reaching out for me.

**Sorry but I never saw Adam and Jess together so I've kinda sunk that ship and I love Adam and Kirsty. Thank you for reviewing. **


	26. Chapter 26

**Nita**

I pulled back the sleeve of my coat to look at the time on my watch again before pulling my coat around me tighter trying to protect myself from the bitter February weather. She was late, but she was coming; she'd promised.

I stood on the corner of the high street outside McDonalds. The smell of the food was making my tummy rumble. Hurry up! Trying to pass the time I watched people going about their lives. There were some girls from the year above me at school in the hairdressers across from McDonalds. They were larking around and reading magazines. It was common knowledge that the salon was owned by the Joley twin's mum and they hung around in there most days after school and weekends with their mates.

I checked my watch again, quarter to five. Where is she she's forty-five minuets late? She's not coming. She's chickened out. She was too scared to leave him. Up until last night she was too scared to talk. It was too soon I should have known that she wouldn't go through with it. I thought she'd stayed with him all these years for me but the whole time she was just too afraid to leave. Maybe it was all too fast for her. She is going to leave, she promised she would. Maybe she just needed more time, to think, to plan, to get money and a place to stay, somewhere to go when we finally did go. That was it, it was more sensible than just running away with nothing but a couple of bags. I had to go home act normal and we would leave soon just not now when we had no money and nowhere to go.

I sighed and took one last look down the high street before turning and pushing the door open to McDonalds. I was at Amy's house for tea so I had a couple of hours to kill before I could go home. I pushed my tray onto an empty table before sliding into the plastic seat. I had this horrible feeling that something wasn't right. What if dad had caught mum trying to leave? What if that was the reason she hadn't come because he had done something to her to teach her a lesson for trying to leave. Would he know that I was going to go with her would he be waiting for me when I went home? I was panicking slightly, she had promised but then again she'd made a lot of promises to me over the years and not kept them. It probably wasn't her fault that she didn't but it didn't change the fact that they were broken. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised that she hadn't turned up. She wouldn't be leaving if I hadn't asked her to. She might not even want to leave. No she had to want to leave, to get away. She couldn't want to stay, not after what he's done.

"Nita." My name woke me from my thoughts and I looked up to see who had called it.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Emily asked as she and Jay approached me.

"Eating." I was being rude but I didn't care. I had more on my mind, I wanted to go home and check if mum was alright.

"Alone?" Jay asked even though it was obvious that I was.

"Yer," I used my hands to jester around me asking them do you see anyone else.

"Do you mind if we join you." Emily asked taking the seat opposite from me. I shrugged, she'd already say down I couldn't really say no now. Jay left Emily and I and went to order.

"How's you mum?" She was just being kind but I really wasn't in the mood. We were meant to have gone and be far away from here but here I was waiting to be able to go home not knowing what to expect when I got there.

"Fine." I replied not looking up from my food.

"How are you?" She asked gently resting her hands on top of mine on the table.

"Fantastic," the sarcasm was strong in my voice and I pulled my hand out from under hers, "everything's fantastic."

"Nita."

"I'm sorry," I butted in, "I just didn't want to be at home." I shrugged my shoulders and looked back down into my food.

"Is it that bad?" I shrugged again not trusting myself to answer.

"Nita your mum will get better it's just a matter of time."

"I know; it's not that, its," I paused wondering if I could really tell her but she spoke first.

"Your grandma; I know that she's difficult but your dad needs her. He's trying to be strong for you and your mum but he's hurting as much as you are and he needs someone to look after him too." That would be a no, she'd already brought into dad's absurd stories just like everyone else, was there anyone who didn't believe him?

After that Jay came back with their food. Jay and Emily spent most of the time talking about the hospital and I sat opposite them listening to them and thinking what a cute couple they would make. Are they a couple? They looked like it but nobody had said anything about them going out. I'd heard that people thought that they would be well suited and I had to agree. They seemed so comfortable with each other and at ease and comparing them to mum and dad just made them seem even more perfect together and taint mum and dad even more.

"Right then shall we drop you home Nita?" Jay asked while pulling his jacket on.

"No, its ok I'll walk it's not far."

"It's freezing out," Emily said trying to make me accept their offer.

"I'll be fine," I said stopping myself from adding I'm not a baby.

"No we insist, it's on our way." Jay spoke firmly and I knew that I would be getting a lift whether I wanted one or not.

"Ok, I'm just going to the loo." They both eyed me cautiously as I made my way through McDonalds to the back where the toilets were. Heaven forbid I would actually need the loo.

**Emily**

As we pulled onto Kirsty's drive Nita rattled around on the back seat searching for her keys. She found them and pulled them out of her bag but when she looked up she looked scared and nervous.

"You ok?" I questioned wondering why she seemed so agitated.

"Yer." She shrugged it of quickly before quickly getting out of the car and making her way up the front stairs towards the front door. I looked at Jay before following her.

"I'm home," Nita called out into the quite house, "Emily and Jay are here too." For a moment we stood in the hall as if waiting for a reply and when one didn't come she lead us into the kitchen. We were sat around the kitchen table while she made coffees and gave them to us and then watched as she fumbled around looking for the biscuits we said we didn't want. Eventually she found them, platted them and placed them in front of us on the table.

"Thanks," Jay and I said in unison causing us to smile at each other.

"I'll be right back," Nita said before practically running out of the kitchen closing the door behind her. The door to the living room was closed when we passed it and now I thought of Kirsty sat in there alone. Nita returned not even a minuet later with seemingly on reason as to why she left.

"Did you want to see mum?"

Picking up our coffee's we followed her into the lounge. The first thing I noticed was the new bruise on Kirsty's cheek but otherwise she looked ok.

"How did that happen?" Jay questioned.

"I don't know, it happened a couple of days ago. Tess has seen it. She still won't speak though. You're going to section her now aren't you," Tears welled in her eyes but she didn't let them fall, "I heard you talking about her, just tell me the truth."

"Nita," I stepped closer to her, "your mum can't carry on like this and we can't let her. Sectioning her is a last resort but we will have to do it if she doesn't start talking or communicating with us." I was suddenly aware that Kirsty was still in the room with us but still she didn't batter an eye lid. Maybe she couldn't hear us maybe she was that detached from what was going on around her. I stepped forwards again and wrapped my arms around Nita.

"I'm sorry but there's nothing more we can do." Nita still didn't cry she just held me back. Jay joined the hug wrapping his arms around both of us.

**Thank you to anyone who's reviewed. It's great to hear your thoughts and suggestions. Next chapter is what happened when Warren found Kirsty!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Kirsty **

Warren thrust me backwards onto our bed pouncing on top of me a fraction of a second later as my body was forced into his by the rebound of the bed. He groaned at the second's worth of pleasure as I sank back into the mattress wanting desperately for it to swallow me. It didn't and I wriggled trying desperately to get out from underneath him. I used both of my hands pushing franticly at his chest hoping that I could get him off me and make a run for the door but he didn't seem to notice my efforts. I looked across at the bedroom door, it was open and I looked out into the hall. Gathering all the strength I could, I shoved him as hard as I could and made an attempt to move from underneath him. My attempt failed and he grabbed me, his hands were clamping around my wrists and he moved them roughly above my head. He held them tightly above my head pushing them backward into the mattress making my shoulders crying in pain.

For a couple of seconds he glared at me. I lay frozen as he held my eyes in his, daring me to beg or call out for help. His breathing was heavy in excitement; I was surprised not to smell alcohol on his breath. He would always have a drink before we came up stairs, but not today. Today it hadn't started down stairs; it hadn't started with kicks and punches and accusations. He hadn't had to drag me upstairs by my hair. Today was different but there was something different about him. Something more than how it had started but I couldn't put my finger on it. He was on top of me, his body weight bearing down on me. Danger glinted in his eyes; his leering grin taunting me telling me there's nothing I could do to stop him. This was nothing new but it was completely different and new at the same time. Then it struck me like a pile of bricks, he hadn't been drinking and somehow it made everything so different. He wasn't fumbling around; he knew exactly what he was doing. His movements were strong, powerful and precise.

I'd lost track of the last time I'd eaten, I'd felt weak running up the stairs, so I knew I didn't have the strength to put up a decent fight. My eyes welled with tears as I waited for him to take what he wanted. My eyes clouded before the tears fell over my cheeks and into my hair line. He started grinding his hips against mine, still looking me straight in the eye.

"Please," I whispered. It was almost inaudible but he'd heard it. He stopped instantly releasing my sore wrists. I could see the anger in him before he spoke.

"So we can talk," he spat, the anger he showed frightening me making me shake underneath him. Rage took over him and he grabbed my arms again pulling them higher, both of them burning with pain. The cast doing nothing to support my arm now and the burn was still tender to touch. I'd lie to him and ignored him and now he knew. I tried to turn my head not daring to look into his eyes any longer and ignore the burning pain coming from my shoulders, arms and wrists but all I could do was stiff back the sobs. Why had I spoken? Now he knew I could speak, he knew that I'd been ignoring him and everybody else for over a week, now I would pay for it. He'd been harbouring his anger, and the rough, vicious movements he was making showed every bit of it.

He'd removed most of my clothes, and his with little effort. I was panting for breath, the little amount of resistance I put up draining most of the energy out of me. I'd never been this exhausted before and never dreamed of not putting up much of a fight but I simply couldn't. My arms felt heavy and even when he released my wrists they felt like they had extra weights attached to them. Still I fought against him with everything I had landing blows anywhere I could on him but he didn't even flinch. I gave up not having the strength to carry on. He'd never been this aggressive with me before, biting, pulling, pushing and all I could do was lie there feeling everything but trying to feel nothing. I was breaking on the inside. I don't know why I held out hope of him changing, he proves that he will never change again and again but still I don't want to believe it. I've know deep down that he never will; but to actually admit to myself that I know he won't change felt like I'd just been handed a death sentence. I tried to block it out just like I tried to block out every single second of what he had already done to me. I lay there trying to think of anything apart from what was happening to me, about how I was powerless to stop it.

We had to get out. I couldn't carry on living like this. It was going to stop. I'd promised Nita that it would. I'd promised Nita that I would be there. I was meant to meet her. What would she think of me now that I hadn't turned up? I couldn't tell her why. I never wanted anyone to know what he was doing to me and now our daughter knew part of it. I'd promised myself that she would never find out, that I would always protect her from it. She should never have had to know. I should have walked away before she did. But it was all too late now; I'd fail, she knew and now I had to find a way to fix what had become of our lives. The only problem was I had no clue where to start. We were going to run but he'd found me before I got the chance to even get clothes in a bag. What was Kathy going to do now that I'd shown Warren that I'd been fine this whole time? What was Kathy going to do full stop? I still hadn't been able to come up with a reason, however far fetched, as to why Kathy was so hell bent on keeping me quiet. It made no sense, what benefit could she possible get out of all this. She scared me more than Warren. I dreaded Warren and Nita leaving the house. I hated being alone with her and especially after she showed her true colours to me the other day, now I know where Warren gets it from. I don't know what she's going to do next. Warren cunning and scheming but Kathy is on a whole other level. I'm sure Warren doesn't even know what she's up to.

Thud, I gasped for breath, warren knocked the wind out of me as he pushed me of the bed and onto the floor, landing heavily on top of me. Waves of pain washed over my back as it took the force of the fall. I was dazed for a minuet or too as my vision blurred along with the rest of my senses. They returned slowly and I immediately wish they hadn't. I wanted to feel numb, I wanted everything to fade way. Anything was better than what was happening to me right now.

He was finished. He stood towering over me, looking down at me. I felt as worthless as his look told me I was.

"Get dressed." He snarled at me throwing my shirt at me. I made no attempt to catch it. I just lay still scared that any move I made would be punished.

"Now." He bent over me and snatched a hand full of hair pulling me to my feet. I grabbed at his hands trying to get him to release me. He launched me into the chest of draws and I slid into a heap on the floor at the bottom of it. Too exhausted to even attempt to move I let my body sag in the same position not even aware of where Warren was.

I woke in the same position coming to the conclusion that I must have blacked out. I glanced cautiously around the room looking for signs that I was not alone. I was and I pulled my self upright using the chest of draws to steady myself. I pulled on my long sleeved and long legged clothes as quickly as my aching body would allow refusing to look at the new bruises that were appearing on my body. Once I was dressed I stood in our bedroom wondering what I should do with myself. Should I return to my spot on the sofa or should I start cooking dinner? I wasn't sure but first I had to pluck up the courage to leave the bedroom.

I took a deep breath and pushed on the door handle slowly telling myself that I was being stupid for being so scared of leaving a room. I creped slowly down stairs looking around waiting for someone to jump out at me, nobody did. I was alone. I returned to the sofa pulling my knees up to my chest. They would be home soon and I had to act like the last two days had never happened. Now they all knew I could talk but nobody knew that anybody else knew. I was just waiting for them all to return and to see how everything would unravel in font of me.

**Sorry this has taken me so long to write and upload. Thank you for reading, it would be great to hear what you think. **


	28. Chapter 28

**Nita **

I don't know why I did it! I covered for him when all I wanted to do was scream the truth from the roof tops, it just wasn't that easy. When I was faced with it I chose the easy option and I don't even know why. It was the perfect opportunity to tell them the truth, just blurt it out and they would know. They were listening to me for the first time ever and they would have actually listened to me and it was the first time they would have believed me too; if I'd told them, but I didn't, I lied. I let the opportunity slip through my fingers and now there would probably never be another one again.

I didn't even know what I would do if I had the opportunity again. I would use it to tell the truth? I probably wouldn't. I would chicken out and just let the world carry on as it is. Everyone would carry on as normal and not even realise that what they see is tainted. Not by glass but by him. His lies, his make believe, his world where he's in control, where what ever he says goes and amazingly everyone believes him. They don't question one word that comes out of his mouth; they just take it as the truth.

If I had used that opportunity I could have turned my life around but I would have turned upside down other lives including my mums to get what I wanted. Which was the right choice? To lie even though as a child we are taught to never lie or to tell the truth with devastating consequences.

**Adam**

I had to tell her, just get it all out in the open. I was dying to see Kirsty and telling Jess was the only way I would be able to. Jess was asleep; she looked so peaceful her dark hair lying across the pillow behind her. Watching her sleep I could imagine that our lives had turned out so differently but then where would Kirsty fit into that life? She didn't, it was simple she wasn't part of my old life like Jess was she was part of my new life and hopefully of my future.

I moved quietly from the doorway and made my way into the kitchen. Leaning against the kitchen units I sighed bringing my hands up to up head brushing them through my hair. I didn't want to hurt her but I had to tell her, I had to see Kirsty.

"Morning." I looked to see Jess hovering in the kitchen doorway watching me just like I had been in the bedroom doorway watching her.

"Sleep well?"

"Mmm, like a baby." She still sounded half asleep although she was dressed. I sat down at the kitchen table and watched as she moved around the kitchen firstly making her self a cup of tea before starting on her 'can't start the day with out it' porridge. She added a drizzling of honey to the top of her bowl and finally took her seat opposite me. It was going to be a difficult conversation but it was one I couldn't put off any longer.

"Jess, it's been really great to see you again, it really has and I'm glad that we've been able to talk about everything and we can finally both try and find a way of living more easily with everything that has happened," I paused trying to find the right words.

"Don't say it."

"Jess I…"

"Please don't," her voice was pleading with me not to continue, she hung her head and I watched as a tear dropped from behind her fringe and onto the wooden table, the bead off water glistening before she swiftly wiped it from the table with the sleeve of her light blue jumper, she sniffed before she continued, "I know what you're going to say; I know. It hurts, it hurts too much. I thought I could do it but I know we can't live like this. I just wanted a couple more days before we said goodbye, before I had to admit that we could never go back to the way we were before. I wish we could, more than anything but everything has changed now, I know you feel it too. I don't know why I thought we could go back to the way things were before but I had to come back to find out that they couldn't be otherwise I would have always been wondering. I love you Adam, I always will but I know things can never work with us, not now.

It was just nice to spend sometime with you, I still miss you. I still think of you everyday. When I think of Harry your always there with us, I think that's what makes it so hard. The memories are entwined, there's no Harry without you so when ever I see you I'm looking for Harry. I know you feel it too you've been so distant, always lost in your thoughts since I've been here and it made me realise that we could never go back, we could never be together again, the memories are too raw. I know this was what you have been trying to talk to me about, what you were about to try and tell me and its ok. We used to be perfect for each other but things have changed, we have changed and now we lead separate lives but he will always connect us no matter how far apart we grow our little boy will always be remembered and loved." She stopped her soft brown eyes glistening with tears. I nodded in agreement a lump in my throat stopping me from speaking.

Jess stood abruptly causing the chair to screech across the kitchen floor. It caught me off guard and I simply stared up at her wondering what caused her to act so suddenly.

"You know how bad I am at goodbyes so I thought we could rip the plaster off quickly." She still had tears running down her cheeks and my heart went out to her but I was too stunned to get up and hug her. Was that it? Was she really leaving now, maybe even forever?

"Your going now?" I asked, feeling a little like child who was being abandoned.

"It's for the best. Its only hurting us more the longer I stay. Goodbye Adam," and with that she walked past me towards the front door and it took me a couple of seconds to react.

"Jess," I jumped up catching her attention but not knowing what to say once I had it, "uuurrr," I failed to find what I wanted to say.

"It's ok," she stood in front of me slowly caressing my cheek with her hand, "it's time," and with that she tenderly placed a kiss on my lips before picking up her already packed bags from beside the door and climbing into a already waiting taxi. The whole time I stood silently and watched her go not able to find the right words, in fact any words to say to her.

**Kirsty **

Nita arrived home first with Emily and Jay in tow. I desperately wanted to talk to her but I couldn't not with Emily and Jay around. I heard them chatting in the kitchen whilst Nita made them drinks before I realised that Nita didn't even know if I was home. She answered most of my questions when she quickly popped her head around the door before letting them in to see me. She didn't even look at me probably just glanced to see if my body was there, she thought I had let her down, that I didn't care. I had let her down; I let her down the moment that she found out about Warren and what he'd been doing to me. How was I ever going to make up for it? I couldn't protect her any longer. I couldn't pretend I was staying for her, now I was simply staying because I was scared. He didn't even know I was planning to leave today. I couldn't imagine what he would do if he found out, I didn't want to imagine what he would do but it was all I could find myself doing. There was no way out now. Not after today, I Kirsty Clements am too scared to leave; even to protect my daughter. I left hot tears run down my cheeks not caring now that Emily or Jay might see them. I couldn't protect her, not from him; I couldn't protect myself so how could I possibly protect her? I could only see one way out from here but could I really do that to Nita.

**Sorry if Jess is completely OC. So what's Kirsty's way out? Good or bad news? Thank you so much for reviewing it makes my day! Please let me know if you have any suggestions they are greatly appreciated, thanks again. **


	29. Chapter 29

**Nita**

After Jay and Emily left I watched mum from the hall. She was so lost in her own little world she hadn't even realised that they had left or that I was stood watching her now. I watched as tears rolled down her cheeks. She made no attempt to wipe them away and they just fell into her lap or continue rolling down her neck collecting on the neck of her black long sleeve top. I didn't want to know what bruises were underneath it but I was sure that there were more than those which she had left the hospital with. I was so engrossed in watching her that I didn't hear the door open and close.

"Nita, what you doing standing in the hall? Don't you have homework to do?"

"Grandma," I turned shocked by her sudden appearance, "n-no, I finished it all at Amy's house."

"And your bedroom?" she didn't get and answer, I just turned away from her and headed up the stairs to make sure it was clean before she had something else to moan to me about. I trudged up the stairs bad mouthing her in my head not having the guts or energy to say any of it to her face. I lent on my door and it snapped open revealing my room exactly as I had left it this morning. I never expected to be back here. I never thought I would see the inside of my room again but here I was and her it was and it felt so normal but surreal at the same time. I'd set it up in my mind, what was going to happen this evening and now that it had fallen through it was hard for my head to catch up or was it go backwards. I just felt lost. I slumped onto the edge of my bed staring at my feet. How could she do it? Did she even try to leave?

I flopped backwards spreading my arms cross the length of the bed and was surprised when one of them collided with my gym bag. I shot up staring wide eyed at my two bags sat on my bed, defiantly not where I left them. She'd got them out, she was going to meet me and we were going to go. But what went wrong?

"Nita." Grandma called my name from down stairs and I hastily shoved my bags back under my bed before heading down stairs to answer her.

I appeared at the bottom of the stairs a second before my coat was thrust my way. I caught it but looked up questioningly in my grandma's direction.

"Were going out for dinner, go and wait in the car," It was frosty even for my grandma and I stood staring at her, "do I have to repeat myself." I shook my head before leaving the bottom step whilst pulling my coat on at the same time aiming for the front door.

"Keys," I turned and took them off her muttering a word of thanks before opening the front door and quickly stepping out into the frosty February weather.

**Adam**

I stood staring at the closed door. Had she really just left me again? Even though she said everything that I wanted to say to her but had been putting off I still felt abandoned. It's silly really, however much I didn't want to say those things to Jess, I felt like she had just robbed me of something. That she had just picked me up when she wanted me and then dropped me again, like a child would do with a raggedy old teddy bear. I would have felt awful saying those things to Jess but now I just felt empty and I couldn't work out why.

For a while I sat alone in the kitchen looking at Jess's half eaten bowl of porridge. My head rested in my hands while I pondered whether I would ever see Jess again. She had given me what I had wanted and I hadn't even had to try and break it gently to her but now the house felt empty once again. I listened to the silence occasionally hearing zooms from cars which were driving too fast down the street at the front of the house. For the first time in a couple of weeks I was alone and a little bit lost.

I hadn't been to visit Kirsty this whole time. I hadn't seen her since that night when I'd found her lying in a pool of her own blood. I thought she died that night, I thought I'd lost her. I'd given up. I didn't think that one last shock was going to bring her back. I thought she was gone. I'd been given a miracle. The sense of relief I felt when I saw that line on her monitor spike is something I've never felt before, and hopefully won't have to feel again and after I'd been given her back I hadn't even been to see her, not once. I felt guilty; I wanted to be with her but there wasn't a place for me in her life. Had I left it too late now to go and see her? Would she even want me to go and see her?

I grabbed my jacket from the hook by the door and my keys of the hall table and sprinted to the car. It didn't matter, I needed to see her. I needed to talk to her I needed to try and get her to open up. I hoped that I would be the one she opened up to. As I drove I thought about what I was going to say to Kirsty and how she would react to seeing me and what I said. It didn't always end the way I wanted it to but I had to give it a go, I'd left it too long already. I screeched to a halt out side Kirsty's house. I slammed the car door shut and sprinted up the front stairs hastily knocking on her front door. I shifted my feet waiting for someone to answer, feeling the nerves eating away at me but then I heard the door unlatch. It opened slowly a brown head of hair peering around it.

"Hey."

**Warren **

Opening the front door I found the house dark and strangely quiet. It wasn't like it was normally loud but there always seemed to be something going on. It was only about seven but the darkness made it seem much later. I didn't bother calling 'I'm home' into the house. Kirsty or Nita did that, I did not. I flipped the light switch on the hall wall immediately bringing the house to life but it was still empty. Not knowing quiet what to think I walked into the kitchen turning on the light. Again I found it empty then I realised where Kirsty would most lightly be if she were home. I burst through the lounge door fully expecting to find Kirsty sat there with that stupid empty look on her face but she wasn't. The room, from what I could see from the hall light, was again empty.

Had I pushed her too far this time? Was she still passed out on our bedroom floor? I charged up the stairs not being able to wait any longer to find out where she was. She better be in this house. The bedroom door was open and I slammed my fist onto the light switch which revealed another empty room there was a small pool of blood beside the dresser but that was it. I turned to face the hall my angry growling at me to let it explode but I kept it below the surface flicking off our bedroom light and starting a search of the whole house.

It was like playing a game of cat and mouse but with more of an adrenaline rush. I made myself take slow loud foot steps as my brain screamed at me to search faster but also telling me to go slower and louder. I creakily opened the door to Nita's room and this time slowly reached up to the light switch. After the rooms I'd searched this was where I thought she was mostly likely to be but yet again the room was empty. I turned again exiting the room only to look across into our room to see the light from the en-suit shining under the door. I defiantly hadn't turned it on making it the only light on in the house before I came home.

The excitement grew in the pit of my stomach as I got closer and closer to the door. Everything was silent and my hand shook as I reached out for the door knob. Twisting it slowly I couldn't stop a smile spreading across my face. I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Suddenly I burst through the door ready to pounce on an already cowering Kirsty but instead I found something that will be etched on to my memory, haunting me forever.

**So what will Warren find? Thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter I love how I've got you all guessing. All will be revealed in the next couple of chapters as to what Kirsty was thinking and what everybody else has planned for her! I love hearing your ideas they inspire me to keep putting in twists and turns, hopefully I won't put in too many and confuse the whole thing. Thanks for reading it's great to hear what your thinking. **


	30. Chapter 30

**Warren**

"Kirsty," I called her name from the doorway too shocked to do anything else. My feet were frozen and it took what felt like a life time before I could take the couple of steps across the bathroom to her side. In that time I couldn't tear my eyes from the scene in front of me. The light in the bathroom wasn't bright; the beige coloured tiles gave the room a soft, warm feeling. Her back was lent against the side of the bath, her head cocked to one side, tilted backwards onto the ledge. Her arms and legs hung loosely from her body. Her face was pale but you couldn't miss how stunningly beautiful she was. She was sat in the middle of the dark chocolate coloured bathmat her eyes closed and she looked so peaceful. In contrast with the deep chocolate colour were little spots of brilliant white which were scattered carelessly around her.

Tears escaped my eyes. How had it come to this? Why had she done this? Did we mean nothing to her? Regaining the use of my feet I dropped on my knees beside her bringing my hand up to her face and cupping it slowly hoping for a reaction. I didn't expect one but it didn't make any less hard not getting one. I released her head and it flopped forwards like a rag doll. I then trailed my hand all the way down her arm to her hand which loosely held my pill bottle. I took it from her lifeless hand instantly feeling that it was empty. Quickly I counted the strewn tablets finding only eleven from a bottle of forty-seven. She meant business. She knew my tablets; she knew what they were like, how they affected me. I'd started a new bottle only two days ago which left her with about thirty.

I grabbed her head with both hands screaming at her to wake up but her eye lids didn't so much as flicker. I tucked my arms underneath her and lifted her up. She was lighter than I remembered, smaller than I remembered, even from back when she was fourteen. I looked down at her lifeless body in my arms, she looked so vulnerable. I remember how she was when I first met her. Our position mimicking the first time I properly looked at her. How I stood hugging her to my body; trying desperately to protect her. How even through the cloud of smoke and dusk it only took me to look at her once before she'd captured my heart. In that one moment time stood still and I fell in love. She wasn't just some school child I'd just happened to save, it was fate, we were mean to be together forever.

So much has changed since that day. Yet she still looks like that little missing girl lost in the destruction of her school but she wasn't. We have a daughter, a life together. We'd got married and now she was throwing that all way. It had been almost half a life time since that day but I could remember it like it was yesterday. It started like every other day. I got up, I went to work, we got called out on a shout. Everything was normal until we arrived on scene.

Thousands of children packed the playgrounds of St Mary's senior school some had red blankets wrapped over their school uniforms. It was chaos. Teachers were trying to control the hysterical teenagers and failing. Most formed huddles crying and staring in disbelieve at their school alight in front of them.

As soon as we opened the fire engines doors we were bombarded with teachers, each of them trying to explain what had and was happening. We were thrust registers, I don't know how they managed to collect them and get them accurate in the chaos that surrounded us but they had. The registers had found that three children were still uncounted for, missing amongst the vast set of corridor and classrooms that the old building supported, all were girls.

The guys set about trying to control the fire, shooting powerful jets of water onto the blaze. I watched their efforts from behind a table supporting the plans for the school. Somehow it had been narrowed down and we were told the three girls were somewhere along the math corridor on the second floor. Garry, Jeff and I we told exactly where to look and sent in to retrieve them. We walked through the main entrance and took the stairs up to the second floor. Thick smoke hung in the air from the fire blazing in the classrooms to the left, flames flickering into the corridor. Sweat clung to my forehead and the inside of my helmet.

I followed Garry and Jeff to the left as we headed towards the maths corridor. The first thing we heard was one of the girls calling for help and with out thinking we ran towards her cries. Rounding the corner we were met with a smoke filled half caved in corridor with two young girls sitting amongst the fallen ceiling. Of course Kirsty being Kirsty neither one was her. She always liked to make things difficult even thought I didn't know it back then. Our pace quickened, the girls were covered in dust and soot. They were huddled together, coughing and struggling to breath. I was the last to reach them and started looking for the last girl who was seemingly still lost. We didn't need to stop and talk about what we were going to do we knew. Garry and Jeff lifted the girls and started heading out of the building getting them to safety, whilst I stayed shouting and searching for the last girl. I could feel my lungs filling with smoke and still I hadn't found the girl, I didn't even know what she looked like.

I ducked, hearing more of the plaster board ceiling caving in behind me. I was running out of time I had to find her now or leave her behind. The latter wasn't an option. I'd never left somebody behind before and I wasn't about to start now. I speed up searching classroom after classroom before I only had two left. I chose the one to my right and sighed with relief as I saw a small lifeless body slumped against the far wall. She wasn't moving my relief quickly turned into panic as I rushed to her side hoping that I had reached her in time. With out thinking I pulled her into my arms. I looked down at her my heart breaking but welling at the same time. She was beautiful I watched her for a second and my heart jumped when I saw her chest moving up and down indicating that she was still breathing.

I've thought about that moment so many times over the years. I thought about how I sat by her bedside for days before she woke up. She was fourteen, I was nineteen so things were difficult to started with. Her family and friends didn't approve and tried everything to keep us apart, to poison her against me but we stayed strong because we knew that we were right for each other. When they found out that Kirsty was pregnant they didn't want to know her anymore and we were allowed to be together. We spent a couple of years staying with my mom and dad whilst we saved enough money to get our own place and eventually we had our own place to call home.

Coming back to my senses I walked into our bedroom placing her on the bed before calling an ambulance. Had I wasted too much time thinking? Was I already too late?

**I always wanted to work in how I thought Warren and Kirsty met and although I wasn't meant to be in this chapter it just seemed to fit in. Thanks again for reviewing **


	31. Chapter 31

**Adam **

"Hey Nita, is your mum home?" It was a stupid question seeing as she hadn't left her house let alone the sofa since she came home from the hospital. Nita stood with her head popped around the door making no attempt to open it further. Looking at Nita further I saw that she had tears lining her eyes and her bottom lip was quivering.

"What's wrong?" I stepped closer to her, "Is Kirsty ok?" She was worrying me. She bit her lip and shook her head, her eyebrows crinkled just like Kirsty's did when she was upset.

"What happened? Where is she?" I asked frantically pushing towards her and into the house. She stepped aside as I threw open the lounge door to find the room empty. I turned back to Nita taking her shoulders in my hands.

"Where is she?" I looked into her eyes hoping to find the answer she was unable to give me.

"Hospital." She whispered and I stared at her in disbelief.

"What happened; wait tell me in the car, lets go." I stood out on the street waiting for her to move. "Come on Nita, lets go." Suddenly she ran out of the house and hopped into the passenger side of my car.

"Nita get back here this instant." Kathy's voice came from the house before she appeared at the door her face alive with anger. Without thinking I threw open the car door jumped in and barely got the door closed before we were driving away.

"She's guna kill me." Nita spoke from beside me startling me slightly.

"For what, going to see your mum? That's not a reason!" I glanced at her sideways and she genuinely looked worried about leaving. "I'll talk to her when I take you back, hey," I nudged her, "don't worry no one can resist the Trueman charm." A smile broke onto her lips as she rolled her eyes at me.

"Hey don't mock the Trueman charm." I said pretending to be hurt by her gesture.

We pulled into the ED but before getting out of the car I turned and asked Nita what had happened to Kirsty.

**Kirsty**

There comes a point in your life when you have to say enough is enough. That you can't take it anymore and that it's got to stop at whatever cost. For me, today was that day. I'd hurt my daughter too much already to let it continue a day longer. She was scared. I hated that. I'd always tried to protect her but now I couldn't. I was going to do the only thing I could. Her life would be bad at first but eventually things would go back to normal. She would always remember but that's all it would be a memory. She wouldn't have to listen to the screams, the sound of skin hitting skin, the sickening silences which followed, or the sobs in the night. Everything that I'd heard and wished that she would never have to. I wished we both never had to hear it but that was not the case but today we would both be free.

Today I was going to man up and do what was best for my daughter, to give her life that she deserved. It was too late to go back now. She would never forget what he'd done to me so all I could do was minimise the damage and make sure that there was nothing else could happen for her to know about.

"Drink" Kathy demanded, breaking me from my thoughts as she pushed a glass into my face. I looked up at her towering over me. Soon I would never have to see her again. I took the glass in my shaky hand realising why I was been given a drink. Kathy never let go of the glass. We both knew that I would not be able to hold it steady, if at all, if she did. Instead she guided it up to my lips and waited patently as I swallowed the content. It was the kindest she'd ever been to me and although I didn't want to I found myself wondering if she was as bad as I first thought. Maybe things were looking up. Maybe Warren had spoken to her and just maybe she was going to treat me better and I could get 'better.' I felt like a phony and a fraud I'd been lying to everyone about how I was coping with everything, making them worry when really I've been fine this whole time. They've spent hours visiting me, trying to help me and they were basically wasting their time. I wanted to tell them I just felt like my hands were tied.

I savoured the cool, soothing feeling as the water slide down my throat. It was one of the best feelings I'd had in a long time. I felt sick almost immediately after finishing the glass my stomach not used to holding so much water. I could feel it resting heavily in my stomach and it struck me just how malnourished I must be if a glass of water was too much. I looked down at my hands only now noticing how bony they looked.

How had I not noticed things were getting this bad before? No wonder I'd been sat staring into space. Why had everybody let me sit here and starve to death? What were they going to do leave me here to waste away? I sat studying my hands and legs and my loosely fitting clothes when I heard the front door slam shut. I jumped automatically assuming Warren was home. I waited for the door to the lounge to open but was surprised when Kathy walked in.

"Come on Kirsty," she hoaxed me to my feet wrapping my arm over her shoulders hauling me up supporting most of my weight knowing that I would need help if my legs were as shaky as my hands. We struggled up the stairs the gap between the wall and the rail not really big enough for the both of us. My feet kept falling off the steps as my vision failed to coordinate with my feet and the task seemed endless. I was trying to catch my breath when we got to the top of the stairs. My head was woozy and my vision blurred. I really needed to eat something, water was not doing the trick.

"Please," I gasped unable to go any further. She didn't take any notice of my plea and I wondered if she'd even heard me. She continued to drag me into mine and Warren's room. We got half way across the bedroom room before I couldn't feel my legs any more. They were like jelly. They didn't feel like my legs, I couldn't move them. The room was spinning as Kathy dragged me across the bedroom floor and into the bathroom. My head pounding as she leant me against the bathtub. My body wouldn't obey commands; all I could do was watch as she placed an empty pill bottle in my hand and then sprinkled a handful of tablets around me. What was she doing? My head was pounding too loudly for me to think, the room spinning too fast I wanted to throw up but I couldn't do anything, my body was frozen but it wasn't in fear like usual, this was something different something new. I could feel the darkness taking me; all I could feel now was the uncomfortable position of my neck on the edge of the bathtub and the black, emptiness reaching out for me. I tried to keep my eyes open but they were so heavy and eventually they won and I saw nothing but darkness.

** So not what you were expecting? How evil is Kathy? Will she be found out or continue making the Clements's lives hell? Thanks to anyone who reviewed it's great to hear from you. **


	32. Chapter 32

**Adam **

We were in the hospital car park. I sat stunned into silence. Kirsty would never do that. I refused to believe it. I looked over to Nita who was sat also silently beside me; this must be so hard on her. She was staring out of the windscreen sat ridged in her seat. She looked like she hadn't had a good night sleep in weeks. I reached over and gently squeezed her arm. She looked at me and I forced a small smile to try and reassure her.

"Come on, I know she will want to see us." I went to get out of the car but stopped when Nita started to talk.

"Why are you here? You haven't bothered until now, she thinks you don't care." I turned to look at her surprised. What did she know about Kirsty and I? I sighed.

"It's complicated, I've had a lot on my plate the last couple of weeks and I am really sorry that I haven't been able to be here for her but it's all sorted now and I'm not going anywhere."

"What if it's too late now?" Nita questioned; her voice quivering as she spoke. She refused to look at me and continued staring straight ahead.

"It's not; she's going to be fine, she has to be." This provoked a reaction. She turned to face me a mixture of anger and sadness over riding her features.

"No she doesn't. She's been through so much and I don't know how much longer she can carry on, and neither does she." Nita was almost shouting at me now and my heart broke for her. She shouldn't have to go through this, she's only a child.

"She will, lets go and see her and you can see for your self." I knew it was stupid to make those promises to her when I didn't know but I refused to believe that Kirsty would have done that, not after she'd had such a close call with death only a couple of weeks ago. She'd held on and fought so hard to do so, to make it back to me and her family. She wouldn't have thrown it all away. God I hope she hadn't!

**Warren**

"Paramedics." A woman's voice called out whilst she knocked on the front door. I was torn, do I leave Kirsty alone to answer the door or wait for them to knock it down? Deciding that I would only be away from her for less than a minuet I made a quick dash for the front door to let the paramedics inside. I threw open the door.

"She's up stairs; please you've got to help her." I lead the way back up the stairs and into our bedroom immediately dropping on my knees beside Kirsty who I'd placed on our bed. I could see her chest slowly rising and falling assuring me that she was still breathing. I heard one of the paramedics gasp when they realised who was lying in front of them before the moved forward trying to help their friend.

"Kirsty it's Dixie and Jeff sweetheart. Can you hear me?" They got no response and turned to me.

"What happened?" Jeff questioned.

Panic took over; I barely heard what Jeff said. All I could do was watch as Dixie tried to get a reaction from Kirsty. Her head lolled to one side, her face was facing me. She didn't look dead; she just looked like she was sleeping peacefully, something I haven't seen her do for a long time. I reached out and brushed a brown bouncy curl off her face and found myself almost surprised when she didn't flinch away from my touch. I immediately felt guilty. She was scared of me, of my touch.

I barely noticed as Dixie and Jeff moved around the bed tending to Kirsty or when they moved her into the ambulance. In fact the whole ride to the hospital was a blur. Kirsty was still unconscious but breathing. She lay still covered in a blue blanket with an oxygen mask over her face, her eyes closed. I could hear the sirens and soon the sound turned into a faded background noise that was also barely noticed like it was the most normal sound that my life would be empty with out.

When they stopped it was like I was snapped out of a trance. The sirens stopped, the doors were pulled open and Kirsty was wheeled out. Doctors and nurses stood around the gurney talking about Kirsty like she was just another patient. I was stood by her side holding her hand and moved with the gurney when it started moving towards the ED doors. My eyes were transfixed on Kirsty and it was like the rest of the world had faded away for a couple of seconds.

Then the moment was broken and suddenly everything speed up and it was all happening so fast. I found my self pushed a side, left stood out side rhesus looking in as figures blurred around her. She looked so small lying there attached to all their machines. They had given her something to counter act the drugs she had taken. They were monitoring her carefully to see how she responded and just waiting for her to come round. They said she should be fine but something made me doubt them. She might be fine physically but mentally was completely different. If she could do this would she even want to come back? Were they even going to let her come home once she was better?

**Nita**

Adam held the door to the ED open for me. I looked up at him. He was surveying me, trying to work out if I could handle seeing my mum in here again. I took a deep breath before walking through the door holding my head up high trying to convince Adam, and myself, that I was fine and that if I was then everything else would be too.

The ED looked the same as always. It was surreal how everything else carried on so normally when people died here everyday. Adam looked as nervous as I did. Neither of us knew what to expect and my mind was running away with scenario after scenario of what could have happened to her. Adam led the way to reception and leant on the counter waiting for Noel to finish on the phone. I stood behind him not knowing what to do with myself.

"Noel,"

"Hey Adam, what can I do for you today?" He stood smiling cheerfully at Adam and I before his face dropped slowly and I couldn't help but let out a small smile but it quickly disappeared.

"What's happened?" He asked changing his question to go with our expressions.

"We're looking for Kirsty she came in in an ambulance about an hour ago maybe two," he looked at me for conformation and I nodded at Adam before returning my attention to Noel waiting for him to direct us in the right way but Adam turned and strode away from him before he had time to answer. I took one last look at Noel before running to catch up with Adam who was frantically searching rhesus looking for her. I was stood in the doorway watching his efforts to find her and was struck by how much he cared for her.

He circled the room checking each bed for her before quickly moving to the next one. When he came to the last bed he turned striding impatiently towards me as he subconsciously ran his hands through his short hair. He looked extremely stressed and worried and it made me wonder what exactly was going on between them.

**A big thank you to Emmylovett my beta reader and everyone who reviewed, sorry it's taken so long to get to you. **


	33. Chapter 33

**Nita **

Adam had taken me to see mum but I wasn't prepared for what I saw when I got there. She was lost in the bed her pale skin blending with the sheets. Everyone was rushing around her in a sense of disbelieve. How could she do it? How could she leave me? Did she not love me at all? She promised that we could go; get away from here and him. I thought we could be happy together, I didn't think it would be easy but I thought she would at least try. Instead she gave up on everything.

Adam and I stood shell shocked when we first entered rhesus. Neither of us wanted to believe it but everybody else did. It wasn't surprising since the way she's been acting since she almost died.

As soon as we were told mum would be ok dad practically dragged me out of the hospital and home to face grandma. Adam was nowhere to be found to explain to her why I left so I sat in silence in the taxi dreading what she was going to say to me when I got home. Well, what did I expect? Adam was still at the hospital, where I wanted to be, looking after mum. Not like dad who just left her there like he didn't care. He always held up appearances even to me and always in public, so why the sudden change of heart? He must have known that he drove her to it, if not by the way he treats her then by having grandma living with us.

We pulled up outside the house and I sat frozen looking at the house reluctant to accept my fate and go inside.

"Nita." My dad's gruff voice stirred me causing me to slowly open the door and step out onto the street. He got out beside me and limped up the stairs and opened the front door, still I didn't move from the curb.

"Inside now." His voice filled with impatiens and irritation.

I quickly ran up the stairs slipping in between him and the door into the house unwilling to angry him further.

Just as I expected grandma was waiting for me and stood hands on hips in the hall and I knew what whatever I was in for it wasn't one of her run in the mill telling off's. I gulped in fear taking a step backwards only to bump into my dad.

"Sorry." I murmured half heartedly keeping my eyes trained on my grandma. I saw my mistake in her eyes and I quickly looked down trying to avoid what was coming next.

"That is no way to speak to your father. Look at me when I'm speaking to you." I quickly brought my gaze up. Her face was red with fury. I'd never seen anyone that angry not even my dad and it was then that I realise what could happen. I was alone with them with no one to help me. What if she took her anger out in the same way as dad did? Surely dad wouldn't let her touch me? Would he?

My shield fell and so did my tears as I found myself feeling vulnerable and helpless stood in between two people I was supposed to trust, but didn't. As my grandma advanced on me my only option was to back away and hope that my dad would stand up for me. After a couple of small shuffles I banged into him again but instead of trying to talk to grandma on my behalf he grabbed my shoulders pushing me towards her before moving around us and up the stairs with out even a backward glance.

I couldn't believe that he had left me alone with her. I didn't know what she was going to do but in the pit of my stomach I knew that it was going to be something dreadful. I was stood centimetres away from her trembling with fear. I jumped as she grabbed hold of my shoulders an evil smirk appearing on her lips radiating to her eyes.

"So, I can finally teach you some manners." It terrified me how thrilled she looked at the idea of what she was going to do to me and she reminded me of how Miss Trunchbull looked when she was locking Matilda in the chokey. She grabbed the arm of my hoodie tugging it sharply towards her so I fell at her feet. I looked up at her not knowing what to do. I'd never been treated this way. I'd heard it happening to mum and sometimes even witnessed it but I was never the victim of the anger and violence and now suddenly I was and I didn't know what to do.

"I-I-I'm sorry." I stuttered trying desperately to make up for what ever I'd done to make her so angry.

"What for?" I starred at her tears silently running down my cheeks. Normally I would have cared if she saw me crying I would have tried anything not to do it in front of her but at this moment I was too scared to care. All I cared about was getting the correct answer to her question, if there was one.

"I-I'm sorry for, for leaving with Adam I know I shouldn't have but I really wanted to see mum. I wanted to make sure that she was alright. I'm sorry." She seemed please with my answer but she wasn't quiet finished yet.

"What about your father?" I looked at her blankly. When she realised I wasn't going to answer she went back to her furious state glaring down at me enraged.

"You need to apologise to your father."

"What for?" before I realised what had happened I was lying face down on the carpet holding my stinging cheek. I looked up at her new tears welling in my eyes, I knew I shouldn't have spoke back.

"You will apologise to him; and me for being so rude and when you are finished you will start on dinner." I didn't move. "Go." I scampered up from the floor standing timidly in front of her.

"I'm sorry for being so rude."

"Now your father." I didn't want to go anywhere near him, but I did as grandma told me to and trailed up the stairs and knocked on his bedroom door.

"Come in." I opened the door slowly and edged into the room a couple of inches before stopping. Dad was laying on the unmade bed his hands under his head. I quickly looked around the room and was appalled to see a blood stain on the carpet beside the dresser.

"I'm sorry for being rude earlier." He didn't acknowledge me so I turned and left heading down stairs to start on dinner.


	34. Chapter 34

**Emily**

It was late and my shift had finished over five hours ago but I stood in the dim lighting, which the hospital used at night, leaning against the doorway to Kirsty's room. I watched Kirsty sleep peacefully her feature scarcely visible as Adam slumped in the chair beside her bed. Neither knew I was stood there watching them. Adam held Kirsty's hand in two of his using the pad of his thumb to stroke the soft skin on the top of her hand. I was the only person apart from Adam who knew how he felt about her and it was so sad to see them like this. I had no idea if Kirsty felt the same way about him but I had an ink link that she didn't feel that way about Warren. I'd never really seen Kirsty awake with Adam but still I thought that they would be perfect for each other. I knew a side to Kirsty that the others had never seen and when I tried to explain it to Jay I couldn't make him understand it the part of her I'd seen.

It was sad to think that Kirsty would be going down to psych and not being able to go home but it seem like it was for the best. I couldn't understand what drew Kirsty into trying to take her own life but I had a feeling that Warren wasn't telling us the whole story. There was something with the way he rushed out of here earlier dragging Nita unwillingly behind him that made me question everything I knew about him, which I had to admit was not a whole lot.

I was stirred from my thoughts by Adam restlessly changing position. It was time we both went home but neither of us was going to go. Jay was starting his shift in a couple of hours and I knew that he would have a lecture for me for not going home but this is where I wanted to be. He was just looking out for me and it was sweet he cared enough to try and persuade me to go home but I really couldn't be bothered to try and defend why I should stay. I wanted to; couldn't that just be enough?

I couldn't explain why I felt such a strong connection to Kirsty so I didn't expect other people to understand my need to stay and make sure she was alright, it was just something I felt I had to do.

I sensed someone behind me and turned my head to find Zoe stood behind me also looking in on the scene in front of us.

"Hey," I almost sighed it had been a long day.

"Do you think they know?" She spoke quietly her eyes never leaving Adam and Kirsty. I turned to face her fully.

"Know what?" I whispered back.

"How perfect they are for each other." A small smile erupted onto my tired face, so I wasn't the only person who thought it. My gaze went back to them.

"She's with Warren." I said stating the problem, although they seemed a happily married couple that's how I saw it.

"Mmmm." Zoe agreed like she had been thinking the same thing.

We stood side by side both fixated on the same corner of the room in front of us.

"Do you think she will remember doing it?" I asked.

"I don't know, probably not with the amount she took. I can't believe we didn't see this coming. We should never have let her go home in the first place she should have gone straight to the psych ward."

"Are they taking her there tomorrow?"

"Yer, just waiting for her to wake up." She sounded deflated.

"All we ever seem to be doing is waiting for her to get better with out really doing anything to help ourselves." I said annoyance creeping into my voice.

"I know but we've been trying to get her to talk but we can't force her to, she not ready yet but we will be there when she is." She pulled me into a hug needing it as much as I did.

**Adam**

I looked at the clock as it ticked on the white pristine wall, it was almost 3 am. My eyelids were heavy and it was becoming increasingly harder to stop them from dropping but still I couldn't bring myself to stand up from the chair beside her bed and leave her.

Instead I restlessly changed positions in what was probably the most uncomfortable chair in existence, no wonder there are visiting hours, they didn't want visitors ending up in beds beside the patients because of these chairs. Unable to settle in one position I pulled myself forward from my slouched position against the back of the chair into a sitting position resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. It was defiantly time to go. I couldn't fall asleep here, people would start asking questions and if Warren came back and found me beside her I didn't want to face his questions, especially after I didn't visit her when she was at home.

Warren and Nita had left hours ago only staying to make sure she pulled through before making a quick exit, but I couldn't help questioning how they had managed to tear themselves away, I couldn't. I didn't even want to think about leaving her here but the thoughts kept pushing their way back into my head. The last time Kirsty was here David had shown up. He was never caught, which means that he's still out there now, somewhere on the loose. He wouldn't be stupid enough to come back here, would he? After all there were no guarantees that he wouldn't. Even if he didn't come back I still didn't want to leave her but in reality I knew I would have to soon but at the moment I could just sit and watch her.

She lay beneath the white sheets that were just a fraction of a shade lighter than her. Her bouncy, dark hair was the only thing that stood out boldly on the bed. She looked inches away from death and it was terrifying, the only things convincing me she wasn't was the rhythmic bleeping of her heart monitor and the steady rise and fall of her chest. She had become even thinner than the day where I'd carried her lifeless and bloody body through the hospital. That memory still haunted me, I just couldn't shake it, all I had to do was blink and there it is and in the last couple of weeks her situation hadn't improved much. I desperately didn't want to believe that Kirsty could do this to herself but I couldn't deny it any longer. Her test results had come back and confirmed that she'd taken an extremely high dosage of Warren's medication which meant that she meant business. It seems that Warren had gotten to her in time because after tests there didn't seem to be any permanent damage.

I looked down at her face; it was completely drained of colour making her barely recognisable. How did we let it get this far?

**Hey, I'd like to thank everyone for all the positive review lately it's been great to hear that your liking it. I'd be really grateful for any ideas about how to get Kirsty out of psych; I've got kind of stuck about the whole thing but I don't want all to be revealed just yet because I've got an idea about how I want it all to come out. Thanks for reading xx**


	35. Chapter 35

**Nita**

I felt like I had no one. Dad had stay in his room since last night even shouting at grandma when she told him to come downstairs for dinner. I'd never heard him talk to her that way and it shocked me when she didn't retaliate instead returned to the kitchen table silent. I'd never seen her give up and not get the upper hand either. Something was off; I was going to find out what it was and get mum home. Dad and grandma refused to let me see her. They wouldn't even let me mention her name. Why had they suddenly disowned her? There was something I was missing, but what?

I rolled over looking at the glowing red numbers on my alarm clock, 5:48. Nearly time to get up for school. My alarm would go off at 6:10 and normally I would hit snooze as many times as possible not wanting to wake but today that wasn't going to be a problem, I was wide awake. I sat up knowing that sleep wouldn't come to me in the next twenty minuets. I looked around my room it was still dark only vaguely lit by a street lamp through my bedroom curtains. I always hated the winter time when I had to wake up when it was dark but compared to recent weeks I felt like I'd been complaining about nothing.

I threw back the duvet might as well start the day now. I stepped along the landing trying to find all the spots that didn't creak when you walked on them hopping to make it to the bathroom with out waking anyone. I closed the bathroom door silently and breathed a sigh of relief. Why was I so nervous about making noise in my own house? I knew the answer. It was because of her. I pulled the cord bringing the bathroom light to life and squinted through the bright light to look at my reflection in the mirror. My cheek was a dull purple colour but it was still visibly a bruise. Now I would have to do what my mum did, use make-up to cover it up. Part of me didn't want to just to say to hell with it all and if people asked be scarily honest with them. But now I was in my mum's position I knew how she felt. I didn't want people to know that I let it happen to me either. So grudgingly I pulled her make-up bag out of the cupboard and started rifling through it to find what I needed.

**Jay**

I yawned as I entered the ED as my restless night catching up with me. I headed straight for the staffroom craving my second coffee of the morning. As I opened the door I found Emily and Zoe curled up on the sofa together fast asleep. I smiled at them as I crept to my locker wanting to get to my phone out to get a picture before they woke. I grinned as I got the picture with out either of them stirring. One day this picture would be very useful!

"Jay," I didn't need to turn to know it was Tess collaring me for being late.

"I'm just coming," I say pulling on the rest of my scrubs and taking one last look at them peacefully sleeping, at least they were managing to get some sleep.

The first person I bumped into when leaving the staffroom was Adam, talk about unfortunate. Not that I didn't like Adam or anything, far from it but ever since Kirsty first came in and her abuse came to light he'd been a nightmare to be around. He was always lost in thought, with a serious expression on his face that nobody, not even Lenny, Big Mac, Noel and I could budge. I hated to see him so unhappy he obviously cared a lot for Kirsty, more than I first realised but there comes a point where you try to avoid him because you don't have a clue what to say to him because everything you do say will end in the same sad and disappointed face which makes you feel like you've fail him in someway.

"Morning," I said ducking my head as we passed each other, me coming out of the staffroom him going in. He looks up at me for a second as if seeing me for the first time and I could see raw emotion in his eyes surrounded by heavy black bags indicating that he hadn't sleep probably, if at all in the last couple of days.

"Is it?" he questioned sounding lost but didn't wait for a reply just carried on into the staffroom flicking the switch on the kettle starting to made a cup of coffee. I had no more time to think about him as Tess called over to me telling me that we had incoming in less than a minuet and she need me in rhesus.

**Kirsty**

I felt like I'd just back tracked a couple of weeks as I woke to the sounds of steady, rhythmic bleeping and the usual hustle and bustle of the ward. But strangely I felt more at home here than at my actual home. I blinked my eyes opened quickly trying to get a quick glance of what was going on around me only to be met with bright lights forcing them shut again. How had I got here? What had happened? My memories were blurry; I remembered flashes of what Warren had done to me. Why was he so violent? I forced my self to concentrate on remembering. I remembered the beginning of my day, we were going to run. Did he catch us? Was Nita ok? Fear struck me and I tried to sit up pulling at the oxygen mask trying to remove it from my face. How far had he gone?

"Kirsty calm down, you're at Holby. You're going to be ok." Tess's normally calm voice sounding stressed.

"Nita, is she ok?" My voice was raw and scratchy. Tess looked down at me for a couple of seconds surprised that I was suddenly talking after weeks for silence.

"Yer, she fine," I relaxed back onto the bed relieved that no harm had come to my daughter, "she and Warren went home last night." I tensed at Warren's name earning me a curious look from Tess. "I'm sure they will be in to see you soon." She didn't sound convinced though.

"What happened?" I asked remembering that I still couldn't remember why I was here.

"Don't you remember?" she asked in a voice I'd heard her use before to patients who had done bad things. I shook my head thinking back through everything I could remember. What had I done?

Tess breathed in deeply before sighing. She took my hand looking down at it trying to avoid my question but really just biding herself time.

"Tess, why am I here?" she looked up at me sadness filling her eyes. Did she know about Warren? I panicked when she still didn't answer me.

"Warren found you," I released a breath I didn't realise I was holding, at least she didn't know the truth I just had to go along with whatever he had said. "He came home and you were in the bathroom," she paused briefly looking away from my questioning look. "You, you had taken his medication; a lot of it."

I stared up at her trying to take in what she had just said.

"Wh – no, no I wouldn't do that; ever, what about Nita? No you're wrong, no; I didn't, I can't have." My voice trailed off. Tears stung in my eyes.

I tore my hand out of Tess's unwilling to except what she had just told me.

"Kirsty," she tried to touch me and give me comfort but I shrunk away from her touch. It was my natural reaction and it scared me that I'd shown it to her.

"I want to be by my self," I whispered not wanting an angry reaction, "please."

"Call me if you need anything." I nodded and she turned and left. As soon as the door closed I rolled over with my back to the door and let out the tears I'd managed to hold in. I knew I wouldn't do that but I was questioning myself, Warren wouldn't have done this to me. I truly believed that Warren wouldn't have done this but I couldn't remember, what other explanation was there? There was one but I still couldn't bring myself to believe that I would do that. Even if I thought of doing it what about Nita I would never leave her?

I wouldn't have done this. I was going to tell everyone. I knew Nita wouldn't like it but felt like I had to be free of this whole thing; it had gone on too long. As much as I really didn't want people to know what I had been going through for the past thirteen years I didn't want to spend the next thirteen years like this even more than the shame of them knowing. I just needed to remember, I was so confused and every time I tried to remember what had happened I got more and more frustrated. Why couldn't I remember?

**Huge thank you to Dudeybob and Sararah for their wonderful ideas, only problem is that I can't decide between them! I'll probably try and put them both together, not really sure how yet though. Thanks for reading :D xx**


	36. Chapter 36

**Tess**

It was heart wrenching to try and explain to Kirsty what she had done. I'd expected that I would have to because of the side effects of Warren's medication but it didn't make it any easier seeing her trying to deny that she would ever do that. She'd pushed me away; it was a lot to handle. I understood that but I hated to see her go through it after everything else she'd been through.

When I returned to the staffroom I found Jay, Emily, Noel and Zoe sat together on the sofa's each with a cup of coffee in hand. Jay saw me first.

"How is she doing?" he asked turning everyone else's attention to me.

"Not good. Like we thought she doesn't remember taking the tablets and is denying that she would ever do such a thing. She's going to be transferred to psych later today or tomorrow morning." We all knew that it was coming long before she took the overdose but still two of our colleagues being in the psych ward at the same time, it was hard to swallow.

I looked at my colleagues and wondered what they had done in between finding out about Kirsty last night and ending up in front of me now on the staff room sofa looked dishevelled. I knew that Zoe and Emily had never gone home spending their night drifting around the ED helping out when ever needed and sitting in the staffroom chatting quietly to each other. Jay and Noel both looked like they hadn't gotten anymore sleep than the girls but I didn't know if they had gone home or not.

I couldn't blame them though; I couldn't bring myself to leave either last night and I'd spent my time in my office catching up on paper work and watching the ED working at night, it's not like I'd never seen it at night, I'd just never taken the time to probably look. It was the same thing with Kirsty I'd seen her and spoken to her even given her quiet a few telling off's but I never really took the time to see her and how much pain she was in under the surface. I knew she had hidden it well because nobody here excluding Adam noticed something was wrong but still, we all felt incredibly guilty for not noticing. I couldn't help but worry about her most of the time. Her steep descent from the nurse who was a 'force to be reckoned with' to the woman who I'd just had to tell she had taken an overdose just seemed so dramatic and hard to come to terms with and poor Nita had to deal with it all. I couldn't see Kathy having a kind word to say to her so I assumed that she had no one to talk to about any of this. For her, one day her mother was fine they had a normal live and then the next she had almost died and had been reduced to a silent shell of the mother she once knew and she didn't know why and really neither did we. She was so strong and suddenly she just gave up when her problems seemed to be fixed. Where had it all gone so wrong?

**Adam**

I watched, holding back the tears, as Kirsty was wheeled into the lift on her way to psych. I couldn't believe that she was actually going to have to stay there. The one thought that gave me comfort was that she had two familiar faces there, the first and best being Charlie, and the second being Ruth - who she'd never really gotten on with. I knew that Charlie would look out for her and get her the best possible care that he could but it was still weird to think that my Kirsty would be living here in the hospital with crazy people. I know I shouldn't say that but some of them are down right crazy and don't know black from white. How could she be put with them? She wasn't crazy; just lost and tormented.

I watched as she stared straight ahead refusing to look at anyone, unwilling to except her fait just yet. She still didn't believe that she had tried to end it all; in fact she down right refused to believe it and ended up working her self into a right state; so much so that she had to be sedated.

The lift doors closed and she was gone. For a while everyone stood in the same position continuing to watch the closed lift doors; at least she wasn't dragged out of here like Ruth. She really would have hated that. Nobody knew what to do now. The ED was strangely quiet. At first we looked at one another before one by one we turned attempting to get on with our jobs. In time there was only Tess and I still stood in the same positions neither of us attempting to move. She was about five meters away from me holding a couple of charts to her chest. She wore a distressing expression of sorrow, probably wondering how she'd ended up here again. Our eyes met, the same expression mimicked in each of our faces. I forced a fake smile onto my face trying to reassure her. She half smiled back at me before turning slowly and heading into her office closing the door behind her; this was going to be one tough shift.

**Hey, hope you enjoyed the chapter.**

**Dudeybob – I'm not sure how Warren's feeling I haven't given it much thought but I'm thinking he's going to be angry? When isn't he! Kirsty's been disowned because Warren couldn't believe how selfish she had been sorry if I didn't make that very clear, I'll write a bit about it to make it more clear and put it in in a couple of chapters time.**

**Sararah – yep, it's never going to be straightforward! But at the moment it's not Warren she should be worried about. ;D **


	37. Chapter 37

**Kirsty**

Charlie was the first person I saw as I was wheeled through the doors. He looked grimly at the doors but as he saw me coming through them he forced a small smile onto his face. It looked the same as any other part of the hospital but it wasn't; it was psych. I couldn't believe this is where I'd ended up. I sighed and avoided looking into Charlie's eyes. What should I do now? Neither Warren nor Kathy had been to see me since I'd woken up. It was now mid-afternoon and I had been left with no directions and I felt lost. Am I meant to still be silent? I'd kind of ruined that by talking to Tess when I'd first woken and just carried on but I did only talking when I had to. All I could think about was what I was meant to be doing. What would they want me to do? I was worrying about doing what they would want me to do, or not to. I questioned everything I did wondering if they would approve or disapprove of what I was doing. I wanted to be free but I didn't know how to be anymore. I'd gone straight from my parent's house to Warren's parent's house to his never once being full in control of myself and not knowing what to do.

Now I was all alone in the psych ward abandoned by them all because that's where they thought I belonged. But I didn't. I got here because I did as they told me to. I'd gone along with Warren and Kathy for all this time, maybe I did belong here after all. It felt like the right thing to do at the time but now I questioned myself and my actions everything that had lead me to this moment.

They knew I was talking now and that meant that there was no way back for me; I would have to answer their questions if I ever had a hope of leaving this place. Ruth had been here for weeks and apart from a card nobody had bothered to go and see her. I suppose it would be just the same for me, nobody wanted to see their colleagues held up in here, especially if they were a doctor or nurse.

I was dreading the questions that were coming and what was worse Warren and Nita hadn't been to see me; maybe they hated me now because of what I'd tried to do. I shook my head silently arguing with myself, I wouldn't do that. Did I really have to answer the questions? Could I get away with lapsing back into silence?

I had to get home but still the silence was simple. One easy rule, don't talk. I wanted to be there for Nita I really did, but did she want me to be there for her. I couldn't help thinking that she would be better of with out me. That she would hate me now for being so selfish. She deserved someone so much better than me but I was all she had. Well she had Warren and Kathy but could I really leave her with them trust them to bring my daughter up in a loving and stable home.

I almost laughed out loud at the thought of my mother-in-law and my husband playing happy families with my daughter, all the time with me rotting in here. The thing was that's all they would be doing playing at it. I doubted whether my daughter would ever be happy with them or safe for that matter, not just physically but mentally as well. I defiantly didn't want them messing with her head like they had been messing with mine.

I was still undecided about what to do - I needed to get home but desperately didn't want to answer any questions or sit for hours on end with a psychiatrist – when a knock came at the door. I could see Ruth through the panel of glass the door had in it but she hadn't opened it and was waiting for me to answer. I made no attempt to speak to tell her she could enter and we looked at each other through the glass before she took it upon herself to enter.

"Hi," she seemed shy, so unlike the Ruth I've seen around the ED. Still I made no attempt to talk back and moved my gaze from her to my lap hoping that she would get the hint and leave me to it, she didn't and took a seat on the bed beside mine.

The room was quiet spacious and minimalist with two beds, a desk, a sink and a window looking out over the car park (the blind was pulled up.) Ruth had been quiet for a long time. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her sitting crossed legged positioned directly at me examining me through her over grown fringe. I was also sitting crossed legged with my shoulders slouched over my knees. I peered over one of my shoulders to look at her properly her constant stare annoying me.

**Ruth**

At first I didn't believe it Kirsty admitted to psych, it just seemed wrong. I couldn't put my finger on why but I wouldn't fully believe it until I'd seen it for myself. Unfortunately when I did see her hunched over herself so thin and weak looking I realised just how far she'd fallen since I'd last seen her as the feisty nurse willing to stand up to anyone and everyone. It was something that immediately put her on my bad side but now looking at her all those bad feelings had vanished and where replaced by understanding.

Charlie had briefly told me the basics of what had happened to Kirsty and it intrigued me knowing that she had but up with the abuse for years and finally cracked when everyone knew but nothing he said prepared me for the woman sat in front of me her eyes haunted by ghosts showing the pain and confusion she was going through. I'm not one for giving hugs but at that moment I felt like I should hug her but I didn't because I was scared that any movement I made would make her retreat back into her shell.

We sat for a while in silence my eyes never once leaving her. She was pulling away from everything again, I could feel it but I had no idea how to stop her. Then she did something unexpected she turned and looked at me, recognition strong in her eyes and then it faded. She looked like she was looking right through me and goose pimples erupted over my skin. She looked so empty lost in her world of thought.

**I want to thank anyone who's taken the time to review. A special thanks to Harriet Shaw who's last review inspired me to write this chapter :D Hope you like it **


	38. Chapter 38

**I couldn't help it, it was niggling at me so here's another Kirsty chapter :D**

**Kirsty**

It's easy for the most abnormal things to become normal. I'd never been struck before Warren came into my life; my parents never even tapped my hands if I was naughty when I was little. But all it takes is repetition and time and before you know it the abnormal is normal.

For me, over time, it became normal to be beaten weekly, but more often daily. It became normal to act the clumsy airhead wife to the heroic fire fighter husband who could do no wrong. It became normal to cover the bruises, paste over the cracks and pretend it wasn't happening to me but it wasn't the injuries that were the scariest part of what was happening to me it was what came hand in hand with all of it, that was the scariest part of all. It was that it became normal to try and act normally and pretend none of it was happening. It was scary how normal it felt to be locked in a violent merry - go - round.

Eventually it didn't even feel like it was happening to me. That it was cut away from me, that that part of my life happened to someone else and was so far away from me that it was like a hazy dream. Unfortunately the one thing I couldn't change no matter how hard I tried was my involuntary reaction to loud crashes or shouting. It seemed that the harder I tried to change it, to stop myself from jumping at every little thing the worse I got. I was always on edge, but it was normal, I knew no different, that was until I found myself curled up in the warmth and safety of Adam's arms.

It wasn't even real. I've never been curled up in his arms no matter how much I've wanted to be. It was a dream, just a dream that changed my life, which made me believe that there was more to life than going through the motions from one beating to the next never being free from the fear. A dream that's all it took but it was the best dream I'd ever had. It wasn't spectacular or crazy just a simple dream. I was still in my hospital bed hooked up to machines and I felt scared and alone and there he was sat beside my bed holding my hand telling me everything was going to be alright.

I didn't question him I believed him straight away and then he crawled into bed with me wrapping his arms around me whilst whispering in my ear that it was safe to go to sleep because he was with me and wouldn't let anything happen to me. I smiled and rested my head on his chest breathing in his smell before drifting off.

It felt so vivid and I tried to hold on to it for as long as possible but already bits were fading. I could no longer smell him or feel him beside me and as the dream got further away the realisation of what my life had become flooded my thoughts. I didn't want this life anymore, in fact I never wanted in I'd just put up with it; but not anymore. I didn't want the fear in my life or Nita's and I was going to make sure that it stopped.

The thing you're least likely to see if you're in my situation is how normal fear becomes. How you can never really let go and live for yourself when you live in fear. How your can never really be yourself because you fear the consequences but once you find that person that you're so at home with that you are no longer gripped by the fear that's has been built over the years and years of shouting and flying fists it is nearly impossible to go back.

It was easy before, to move on with my days not even listening to my body crying in pain. Sometimes my secret would catch me unaware whilst I was doing the washing up or had a spare minuet at work and I would almost be surprised that that memory belonged to me and try to pass it off as someone else's, like one of the many women I see come through the ED all the time.

I had spent my life denying what he was like and who I had become because of him. I used to be able to banish those thoughts and memories so easily, sometimes they snuck up on me but no sooner were they remembered than they the roughly removed and locked deeply away again. But now they had grown stronger, more powerful and I couldn't keep them locked deeply away anymore. They wanted out and I was powerless to stop them.

I was a strong person when I met Warren but as his grip got stronger on me I weakened. That strong person I used to be became a shell and inside I felt weak and useless. He ruled over my life for over fourteen years and now I'm going to take my life back. It is mine after all. It's my life not his to push around from pillar to post as he wishes.

I was his wife when he wanted me to be, mother to his child, cleaner, cook and punch bag, well not anymore. I'm not going to let him do anything to me again. He can no longer just take it when he wants it or lay into me because he's had a bad day that's not how it ever should have been and now it never will be again. When I get out of here I'm going to take Nita and we're leaving and not him or his brother or even his mother can stop us.

**So strong words from Kirsty, is she going to follow through? I want to thank sararah, Harriet Shaw and Gillian Kearney Fan for reviewing my last chapter. After reading their amazingly kind reviews this just popped into my head and I just had to write it down. Next chapter should be with you on sat, but I'm very forgetful so it could be later :P Thanks for reading **** x**


	39. Chapter 39

**Ruth**

Charlie had put Kirsty in my room with me, hoping that a familiar face might help bring herself out of herself but nothing seemed to be working. I'd tried general chit chat standing in front of her even waving my hand in front of her hand I even resorted to clapping loudly beside her ear but nothing brought her from her trance and I was left wonder why Charlie and left her with me, I was defiantly not known for my people skills.

Giving up I sat on my bed pulling a book out from my bedside table and started reading from where I had stopped. I looked up in pauses of the story each and every time Kirsty was sat in the same place not having moved a mussel. At the end of one of the chapters I stopped, holding the pages between my fingers, I wondered how she had managed to sit so still for so long it had been almost two hours and it was very fast approaching dinner.

Had I failed? Would Charlie think that I hadn't tried? I didn't know what to do to help her, if I even could. I was still looking at Kirsty when there was a soft knock and the door opened. Charlie stood in the doorway not coming into the room nor walking away, just hovering. He looked at me first, I was looking at him with a grim expression knowing that Kirsty had closed off again. Then he looked over to Kirsty I followed his gaze. She still hadn't moved, he made no attempt to talk to her or go over to her. We were as lost as her, I didn't know where to start helping her and I guessed Charlie didn't either.

"It's time for dinner," he said softly reminding me of how my dad used to call me for my dinner when I was young. I acknowledged him by nodding then slipping past him leaving him alone with Kirsty. I looked back seeing Charlie close the door behind me, before heading to dinner.

**Charlie**

I closed the door behind Ruth and turned to Kirsty. I couldn't believe what she looked like sat on that bed. She was so thin that it scared me, her eyes hollow and empty but mostly it was the way she held herself, like she had totally given up. I walked slowly towards her she made no attempt to look at me. Did she even know I was in the room?

"Kirsty," I whispered into the silent room; no reaction.

"Kirsty its Charlie," this time I spoke normally as I moved towards her. I was close enough to touch her now and she hadn't acknowledged me with as much as a blink. I sat on the bed in front of her bending my head over to look into her face. I was hoping that she would recognise me and come out of her own little world. She didn't as much as blink when I was inches away from her face looking straight into her eyes. I'd never seen someone so disconnected from what was going on around them and it was worrying.

"Kirsty," I spoke again placing my hand on top of her cold ones, still nothing.

I spent a while sitting with her talking to her trying to get her to talk but I had the feeling she had no idea I was even here. I gave up trying to talk to her and spent the rest of dinner time just sitting with her my mind drifting between everything that had happened to Kirsty and how it was affecting the whole ED.

**Adam **

I took my break early unable to concentrate a moment longer, my thoughts flooded by Kirsty and what she was doing. She'd spoken to Tess, she'd come out of herself and was talking and I couldn't wait to go and see her and talk to her. It had been too long since I'd heard her voice or seen her smile. I was excited and was almost bounding down the corridor to psych. I knew she had a long way to go but at least now she was talking and was finally accepting what had happened.

I scanned my NHS card to get through the door and then realised I didn't know where Kirsty was. I stood looking around for a board with patient names or a familiar face so that I could find directions towards Kirsty. After about thirty seconds Ruth rounded a nearby corner coming into view.

"Ruth," I made a bee line for her, "how you doing?" I was dying to see Kirsty but I couldn't bring myself to be that thoughtless.

"Yer, ok." She said wrapping her arms around herself for comfort.

"Good, good. You don't happen to know where Kirsty is, do you?" She let out a small smile.

"Charlie's with her at the moment." She stopped as if pausing for thought but the pause went on too long.

"Ruth,"

"Hum," she looked up at me, "oh right; follow me." I followed her in silence until she stopped out side of a wooden door with a glass panel in it. Through it I could see Charlie and Kirsty sitting together on a bed.

"Has she spoken to you?" I questioned fishing for information. She looked at me for a moment before answering.

"No, she hasn't spoken to anyone since she came down here." My heart sunk and it must have shown in my face because Ruth reached out touching my arm with her hand.

"I'm sorry," she spoke softly and sincerely and I wondered what they had done with the Ruth I knew.

Suddenly a gut wrenching scream split through my thoughts scaring me back into reality; Kirsty.

**It's late, but not because I forgot. One of my friends gave me their virus! So what's happened to Kirsty? I want to thank Gillian Kearney Fan and PoppyNoble for reviewing they made me smile when I'm feeling so crappy. Also I'm starting my first Harry Potter fic and I was looking for a beta reader, so let me know if your interested. Thanks for reading :D **


	40. Chapter 40

**Charlie**

I was still sat with Kirsty and she still hadn't said anything or even moved. I looked at my watch thinking that Ruth should be back from dinner any minuet when Kirsty started making a mumbling sound. At first it was only just louder than a whisper but it grew and with it so did Kirsty's agitation. It was like she was locked in some kind of nightmare, but she was awake. She was shaking her head mumbling no over and over again. She started shaking, wringing her hands together; then she stood backing away from me like I would pounce on her at any moment. It was surprising how much it hurt for her to react to me that way but still I tried to calm her down. She'd backed herself into a corner crumbling to the ground when she realised there was no escape. She curled herself into a tight ball trying to protect her self from any oncoming attack as she blubbered to herself and who ever it was coming after her in her mind that she was sorry, that she would try harder and be better. It was incredibly hard to watch her so frightened probably replaying something that had in fact already happened to her. I didn't know how anyone could be so cruel to anyone begging them not to hurt them but it seemed that her attacker was.

Suddenly she leapt up letting out an air splitting scream filled with fear and pain and I dived at her in time to catch her before she fell to the ground unconscious. I fell to the floor with her on top of me holding her close and rocking her back and forth hoping to give her as much comfort as I could. I was completely unaware that Adam and Ruth were stood behind me until Adam let out an escaped whimper. It shocked me and I spun, taking Kirsty with me, to see who it was.

"Adam." I said, shocked to see him. Adam and Ruth were stood in the doorway stunned. Neither of them was looking at me but instead they were focused on Kirsty who was out cold in my lap.

"What happened?" Adam finally spoke breaking the uneasy silence that had surrounded us.

"It was a type of nightmare. She was reliving something that had already happened to her." I said trying to reassure them and myself that she was fine.

"What was it?" Ruth spoke out cautiously, intrigued about what had caused Kirsty so much distress.

"I don't know," I said as I shrugged I was as clueless as them. Kirsty's breathing had now calmed down and was almost back to normal. I stopped rocking her and looked down to see her sleeping peacefully.

Adam had moved forwards slowly and was now kneeling in front of us. He stayed in that position for a moment eyes focused on Kirsty, as if scared to come any closer before looking up at me. We didn't need to exchange words, we had worked together long enough to be able to read what the other was thinking in a time like this. Adam leant forwards tucking his arms underneath Kirsty's knees and around the back of her shoulders before lifting her up into his arms. I think he was a little surprised at how light she was but he soon got over it and laid her gently back onto her bed.

Adam pulled the duvet over Kirsty tucking her in and tenderly brushed a lose curl which had fallen over her face behind her ear. I felt like I was intruding on the moment and quickly looked away. My eyes found Ruth; she hadn't looked away but instead was looking at Adam and Kirsty with an expression on her face that I'd never seen. It looked like a mixture of sadness and wistfulness coupled with 'oh isn't that cute'. Definitely not an expression I'd seen on Ruth's face before.

I turned back to see Adam placing a kiss onto Kirsty's temple before taking a step backwards to look at her. That's when I realised that there was more to Adam's feelings than friendship. Another thing to make Kirsty's live more complicated than I had thought. Was there anything else that we didn't know about? How many skeletons can one person have?

**Ruth**

I was alone with Kirsty once Charlie and Adam left. She was sleeping deeply and didn't stir as I moved around the room getting ready for bed. I kept glancing over to her wondering if she would fall into another nightmare. I would be alone then, there would be no one around to comfort her like Charlie had holding her and rocking her, there would only be me and if that happened I had no idea what I should do.

I slept uneasily, tossing and turning, strange dreams drifting through from my sleeping state to my waking leaving me feeling apprehensive about being awake or asleep. So instead I went from one to the other trying to ignore my thoughts but failing. Kirsty kept weaving in and out of my thoughts being awake or asleep making no difference. She was sleeping peacefully and when I was awake I would look over to check that this was still the case.

I woke in the morning feeling like I had never gone to sleep, tiredness making my movements slow and clumsy. I sat on the edge of my bed facing Kirsty who hadn't even rolled over in the night. I carried on with my day as normal whilst Kirsty carried on sleeping. Every so often I would stop and look at her, some times checking to see if she was breathing, she always was and I quickly went back to whatever I was doing. I went to lunch and came back to find that someone had inserted a drip into her hand giving her some much needed nutrients.

It was hours before she woke. Lunch had long been, and then so had dinner and I was beginning to wonder whether she was actually sleeping or it was some type of coma but eventually she moved. It was only slightly at first and she lay still for a moment or two afterward, leading me to believe that I'd imagined it. I was just about to return to my book putting the whole thing down to an over active imagination when her eyes flickered open.

Suddenly panicked I didn't know what to do. I'd been waiting for her to wake up all day but when she opened her eyes I just starred back, running through my options in my head trying to find the best one.

"Do I really look that bad?" Kirsty startled me by speaking first, a hint of humour in her voice.

"N-no," I stuttered back stunned she'd even spoken to me. She pushed her self into a sitting position resting her back against the headboard, a smile creeping onto her face.

"It was a joke." She stated whilst I tried to compose myself.

"Yer, I know; its just yesterday, you were," I stopped mid-sentence trying to find the best way to explain her behaviour.

"Vacant?" She filled in for me, and I mentally sighed relieved that I didn't have to say it.

"Yes." I agreed with her quietly ducking my head a little.

We were interrupted by raised voices coming from the hall.

"Excuse me, you can't just barge in here to see patients when you want." Charlie's voice was significantly louder that usual. Kirsty and I looked at each other both with amusement in our eyes. I could tell exactly what she was thinking, she wanted to go and see what all the commotion was about. We both go up from the bed and were making our way to the door when a second voice spoke.

"If you think you can stop me from seeing my own daughter-in-law after what she's done your wrong." I looked over to Kirsty still expecting to see her face filled with life, amusement and curiosity but instead I found fear. She'd frozen to the spot, her eyes wide and staring at the closed door.

I was just about to question her about it when the door swung open dramatically, revealing a woman, who I guessed to be Kirsty's mother in law. Charlie was hot on her heel and nearly bumped into the back of her as she stood in the doorway glaring daggers at Kirsty.

I turned my head to look back at Kirsty. She stood like a rabbit in head lights. I looked back at the doorway. Charlie was studying Kirsty and the woman seemed to realise this with out turning around and looking at him. Then as quickly as the daggers had appeared they were gone and the woman rushed at Kirsty arms open enveloping her into a hug. I couldn't believe what I'd just seen and I was even less prepared for what I heard next.

"Kirsty, I've been so worried. How are you?" She pulled back from the hug holding Kirsty's an arm length away gripping Kirsty's shoulders in her hands. She was quiet for a moment and when Kirsty held the same expression and made no attempt to talk she spoke again. She turned to face Charlie pulling Kirsty to her and taking her with her.

"She still not speaking then? Not one word?" She sounded more like she was digging than really cared, which I assumed to be true.

"No." I spoke out quickly not giving Charlie a chance to answer but received a filthy look in return.

"I wasn't speaking to you." She spoke down to me, giving me an even filthier look than she'd given Kirsty, before turning back to Charlie for an answer. I held my breath waiting for him to answer. Charlie paused for a second glancing quickly at me trying to decide what to tell the woman in front of him basically tapping her foot waiting for an answer.

"No, I'm afraid not." He bowed his head not wanting to look her in the eye but I gave out a quiet sigh of relief somehow knowing if that woman knew Kirsty had spoken it wouldn't have ended well.

**I can't believe this has gotten so long, it was only meant to be a couple of chapters and it's turned into 40 with over 100 amazing reviews. Thank you so much to anyone who's reviewed and given me ideas and inspiration for this fic, with out you it would have fallen into the depths of unfinished fics. Thank you for saving it :D **

**Sararah – lol I read back what I had written and what I meant was that she'd given me her virus not my laptop :P I'm glad your enjoying it, I love giving you guys the cliff hangers because it keeps you guessing and the fic more exciting! xx**

**Gillian Kearney Fan – that would have been a great idea, I'm guna try and work that in later on. xx**

**PoppyNoble – thank you I'm relieved that you liked that she didn't just start talking, because it's never that easy although hopefully now she will talk to certain people, what do you think? xx**


	41. Chapter 41

**I think I cursed my self before because my laptop got a missive virus and crashed and it took me three days to get it working again. On top of that I've had trouble with this chapter, especially the interaction between Kirsty and Ruth. So it's not brilliant but I hope its ok. **

**Kirsty **

I couldn't believe it when I heard Kathy's voice in the corridor and I stood frozen to the spot. The more surprising thing though was when Ruth and Charlie lied to her about me speaking. I'm not saying that I wasn't grateful, I was very grateful; it was just a strange thing for them to do unless they knew more than they let on, which I doubted they did.

After Kathy left I stood in the same spot not daring to move unless she returned. Then Ruth shocked me again by coming up to me and placing an arm around my shoulder guiding my back onto my bed. I'd never seem her act this kindly to anyone before, like she actually cared and I turned my head to look up at her. She looked genuinely worried about me; Ruth. I blinked a couple of times but she remained in front of me her eyes full of emotion.

What now? I know she'd seen the way Kathy changed when she realised Charlie was watching her and that she'd made the mistake of thinking that she was just a loony with out a brain but did that mean that I could talk to her about it? After all she didn't tell Charlie the reason behind lying to Kathy about me talking.

Who knew, I was tired of thinking so much about what I should and shouldn't do but still I couldn't afford to make mistakes. I had a plan; it was just going to take a little longer because I was in here.

I looked up; Ruth had moved away from me slightly but was still sat on my bed looking at me her brow crumpled in thought. God knows what was going through her mind. Was she thinking about Kathy? She caught me looking at her; she looked a bit surprised that there was life in my eyes.

"How you feeling?" she asked and I couldn't help wondering if she thought I would reply or not.

"Fine." I said unsurely. She studied me for a second before replying.

"Good."

"How have you been?" I found myself saying. She looked as taken back as I felt.

"I'm getting there." She replied forcing a small smile.

"Good." I replied causing us both to genuinely smile. We sat in silence, me watching her, her watching me. She was shifting nervously under my gaze but I didn't look away because she didn't.

"Who was that woman?" She asked and I was glad that she had gotten straight to the point and not danced around it; though she was Ruth and probably didn't know how to.

"Kathy, Warren's mother." I replied with out thinking.

"And Warren's your husband?" I nodded conformation.

"And I always thought Cinderella had it bad!" We both fell easily into laughter and I almost forgot about where we were and who I was having this very light hearted but at the same time serious conversation with. If you had told me that I would have spilt my guts to Ruth Winter's then I would never have believed you, not until this very moment.

We were chatting like old friends. Gossiping about the ED and Ruth even mentioned Adam coming to see me and I was surprised when my heart jumped a little when I heard how he cared. Ruth seemed to pick up on this and went into extra detail about how he tucked me in and how obvious it was that he cared about me. I hung onto every word wishing it to be true.

**Nita**

It's been two days since I left the hospital with dad, the worst two days of my life, and neither dad nor grandma will even let me mention mum let alone go and see her. In fact they never spoke to me at all if I did try and start a conversation then I would get sharp short answers and if I asked any unwanted questions they were both amazingly good at changing the subject; sometimes I didn't even realise what had happened until I thought over it later. But I wasn't giving up that easily. I didn't care what mum had done I just wanted to see her and tell her that I loved her no matter what. I'd thought about calling Adam lots of times but I was just too scared of the consequences after what had happened when I came home last time.

I knew mum would never let either of them lay a hand on me but now she wasn't here there was no one to stop them. With everyday I thought more and more of her and how much she must have been protecting me from them and I'd always labelled her the mean one picking on dad and making him feel bad. How could I have been so wrong? I sigh dropping my pen on top of my open math book and headed across the hall to try and convince dad to take me to the hospital. I'd had this conversation with him about ten times now but with each conversation he seemed to mellow a bit suggesting that maybe he was coming round to the idea. This is why I was now tapping on the door to their bedroom. I was holding on to the slightest hope that he would cave and take me to see her.

There was no answer but I opened the door and walked in anyway. Tightly shutting the door behind me not wanting to be disturbed my grandma because then it would never go my way. The curtains were drawn making the room dark event though it was the middle of the day. And I stood just behind the door waiting for my eyes to adjust to the lack of light.

My dad was lying in bad, the covers drawn up to his chin. His eyes were open and he was staring aimlessly at the ceiling.

"Dad." He looked at me with out sitting up or saying anything. I moved closer to him. I cut straight to the chase.

"I want to go and see mum." I whispered not knowing what reaction I would get.

"I know; I want to see her too." I paused, confused; this was more than one step forward.

"Then lets go." I said cautiously. He sat up as if taking me in for the first time. Then slowly he nodded. My heart jumped, did this mean that we were going.

"Ok." It seemed too easy but I wasn't about to question his sudden change of heart and ran off to get my shoes and coat.

**Because I'm having trouble writing a chapter of interaction between Kirsty and Ruth I had the idea that anyone who wanted to could write the chapter or give me tips on what you want to happen in the chapter for me to write then pm me with it and then I will post it as my next chapter, of course giving you all the credit. Thanks for reading. **


	42. Chapter 42

**Kirsty**

I woke with a start; bolting up right, a cold sweat beading on my forehead and the back of my neck. I felt panicked and restless whilst my strange dream seeped into my consciousness. It seemed so real to me, like memories, but I would have remembered this if it were true. I could admit to myself that I was quiet scared of Kathy but I wouldn't say it out loud to anyone. But even so my dream made her out to be nothing short of evil. I tried to relax and snuggle back into the soft bed, willing myself back to sleep but it didn't work. I gave up after a couple of seconds, too riled to even keep my eyes closed.

It was still dark out side making it difficult to see around the room, but I could work out the outline of Ruth sitting up in her bed looking sleepy my way. I'd woken her. I could imagine the concern in her eyes, even though it was to dark to see.

"I'm fine, it was just a dream." I said trying to convince her as much as myself.

"You were talking." She said quietly as she slipped from underneath the covers and came to sit on the edge of my bed. As she came closer I could see her more clearly. Her eyes were wide but not with concern.

"What was I saying?" I asked dreading the answer, hoping that the wide eyes weren't because I'd just spilled my darkest secret.

"Well," she paused like she didn't want to tell me and I held my breath waiting for her to continue, "you weren't, you were."

"Just say it." I said not being able to bare the tension any longer.

"Begging; you were begging." She stopped there watching my reaction carefully.

"For what?" I asked clueless, and impatiently.

"I'm not sure, you kept saying: don't leave me, don't do this, what about Warren and Nita, you can't do this." Suddenly my body tensed. Those words struck a memory inside of me and abruptly I was torn away from the comfy bed where I sat and instead I was limy propped against the bath on the cold bathroom floor watching Kathy place the bottle of pills in my hand, then smile cruelly at me before turning and walking away.

It wasn't a dream!

How could she do that?

"Nita," I had to get to Nita now.

I threw back the quilt and launched myself off the bed already looking for my clothes.

"Kirsty stop." I stopped and turned to see Ruth looking horrified. "You can't leave they won't let you."

"You watch them try and stop me." Was angry and it showed clearly in my voice. I hadn't been strong enough to protect my daughter. Ruth moved to stand in front of the door.

"If you try and leave now they will think you've had some sort of episode. They will drug you and you'll be in here even longer." God, when did Ruth become so level-headed, it was her trying to drill into somebody's brain the other week.

**Ruth**

I could see Kirsty milling over her options in her head. I was still ready to catch her in case she made a run fir the door. I'd seen enough of this place to know that would be a bad move. Finally she sunk onto the end on her bed and I let out a sigh of relief, at least she'd listened to me.

She promptly brought her hands up to her face resting her elbows on her knees. Tears silently fell from between her fingers and her body shacked with silent sobs. I walked over to her cautiously thinking that she might still make a dash for the door but she didn't and I sat next to her on the bed placing my arm around her shoulder. I'd never been any good at comforting people but I still tried and was shocked when she turned and pulled me into a hug. I, Ruth Winter's did not hug just anyone.

Slowly I brought my arms up and placed them around her small body but she quickly pulled back, looking at me through red, teary eyes.

"It wasn't me." She choked out her body still trembling with sobs. Was I meant to know what she was talking about?

"I didn't do it, I didn't take those pills. I didn't try to kill myself." Strangely I believed what she was saying but she sounded like she was convincing herself as well.

"What happened then?" I asked intrigued as to why she was so confused about the whole thing. She'd calmed considerably, determined to tell me. Then just as she was about to start her face formed a small frown.

"I don't know, well I do know; but I don't know all the details." She said still sounding very confused. I stayed quiet waiting for her to elaborate.

"It was Kathy, she drugged me. She made it look like I'd done it but I really hadn't, you've got to believe me." She was begging me now, holding my hands in-between hers. Her expression was so desperate that there was nobody in the world who wouldn't have believed her at that moment.

"I believe you. I saw the way she treated you when she was here yesterday, I believe you." She looked so relieved but part of her questioned whether I really did or not, I could see it in her eyes.

"You really, honestly believe me." She asked wide eyed.

"Yes, I really, honestly believe you." I almost giggled. Then she relaxed and let her relief flood her. She turned to me again, a small smile plastered on her face.

"Thank you."

**So Kirsty remembered, what next? I want to thank PoppyNoble for her awesome feed back. It's great to hear what you think should happen and I've tried to work it in. Thanks for reading :D xx**


	43. Chapter 43

**Warren **

I can't believe Kirsty would do this to us. I'd questioned everything in the last couple of days after finding her there on the bathroom floor surrounded by my tablets. I hadn't left our bedroom since I'd dragged Nita away from the hospital. I knew she was desperate to see her mum but I didn't care. She was going to leave us both so why did she deserve us to do and see her? She didn't. Every time I told Nita no though and I saw the look on her face I soften to the idea. I felt myself doing it even though I didn't want to.

I knew that the next time she came and asked me if we could go and see her I wouldn't be able to say no. I wanted to see her but part of me hated her for what she did. Then there was a small knock on the door I didn't answer knowing that my mother would never knock like that leaving only one person who it could be, Nita.

She opened the door slowly, stepped through then closed it behind her.

"Dad." I didn't move to acknowledge her knowing that she would come right out and ask me what she wanted. Then it came.

"I want to go and see mum." She said in a small voice afraid of what answer I would give.

"I know; I want to see her too." I surprised her by admitting what I wanted.

"Then let's go." She said cautiously and I sat up to look at her. She looked scared and my heart broke how could we have done this to our daughter we always vowed to protect her from all of this. That's when I knew I defiantly couldn't deprive my little girl of seeing her mother if she wanted to so I nodded in agreement. I was her question my nod before realising not to question it.

"Ok." She said before she turned and ran off to get her shoes and coat.

We were out the house and down the road before my mom even knew we intended to go out. We had another silent journey in the car and all I could think about was how we used to be. Nita and I would always be chatting, about anything and everything. Now though everything was different. The only reason she was sitting by me was because I was taking her to see her mum other wise she wouldn't want to be anywhere near me.

I pulled into a hospital parking space and Nita got out the car. She didn't wait; instead she started walking towards the entrance. She didn't look back to see if I was following her and I just watched her walk away from me, something she'd have done already with Kirsty if she hadn't turned mute.

I caught up with Nita out side the Psych ward. She was waiting to be let in. She looked nervous. A young nurse opened the door and led us inside. We followed and she led us through to Kirsty.

I told Nita to wait outside for a minuet or two. I knew she wouldn't be happy with it and the expression on her face told me I'd thought correctly but I didn't want her getting more hurt than she already was, so I needed her to stand outside while I was Kirsty first. I pushed the door open and stood hovering in the doorway unsure of how she was going to react to my presents. She looked so thin and fragile sat in that armchair and I wondered if she was even going to look up to see who had entered the room.

I waited for half a minute and she didn't. I sighed loudly. I didn't want Nita seeing her mother like this, but what could I do? As I was thinking about Nita I closed the door behind me and stepped further into the room. It was quiet light with the afternoon sun streaming through the window. I stopped a pace or two from Kirsty.

"Kirsty." I spoke softly. I saw something change in her eyes although she didn't turn to look at me. I knelt in front of her taking her hands in mine.

"I know you can hear me. I need you to talk to me, I can't lose you and neither can Nita; you have to talk to her at least she's outside waiting for you." She looked into my eyes as I spoke and I felt like I had my old Kirsty back.

"Kathy." She whispered. I barely hear her.

"She's not here." I said confusion filling me. Kirsty visibly relaxed.

"You want to see me? Nita wants to see me?" I could see the joy in her eyes. I cupped her face with my hands, stroking my thumb across her soft cheek. This was probably the softest moment we'd ever had together.

"Of course we want to see you." I said slightly confused by the whole conversation.

"It wasn't me." She suddenly burst out. She stopped, looking at me to see my reaction. I just looked at her even more confused.

"I promise it wasn't me. I didn't try, I promise." I knew exactly what she was talking about now but it just created more questions than answers.

"Who then?" I asked unsure whether I believed her or not. She didn't answer straight away staring into her lap, making me question the truth in what she was saying even more.

"Kathy." She finally whispered.

** So the part of the truth is out. What's Warren going to do now? Sorry this has taken so long, I started two new fics with out thinking about not having time to write them all. I love it when you review **


	44. Chapter 44

**Kirsty **

I heard the door open but I didn't look up in case Kathy was stood there. I knew who I wanted it to be, I wanted so badly to be given a chance to explain to Warren and Nita that I didn't try and leave them but I feared it was all too late and they wouldn't listen to me now, would anyone believe me?

They hadn't been to see me since I was admitted so I doubted whether they would come now. Whoever it was, stood in the doorway looking at me. I could just about see them out of the corner of my eye but I still didn't dare look even if I didn't think it was Kathy. They sighed rather loudly and I held my breath as the slowly stepped towards me.

I could tell it was Warren and he spoke my name softly as he came towards me. I blinked a couple of times to check whether I was imagining him or not. But he was still there and he was kneeling in front of me gently holding my hands in his. A lump caught in my throat and I struggled to swallow and hold in the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I know you can hear me. I need you to talk to me, I can't lose you and neither can Nita; you have to talk to her at least she's outside waiting for you." I looked into his eyes as he spoke and he seemed to different and genuine compared to the old Warren.

"Kathy." I wanted to tell him what had happened but I was scared that she was around.

"She's not here." He said and I relaxed.

"You want to see me? Nita wants to see me?" I asked bewildered that they would still want to see me after what they thought I had done. He cupped my face with his hands, stroking his thumb across my cheek. This was probably the softest and most loving moment we'd ever had together.

"Of course we want to see you." He said and I felt my heart leap.

"It wasn't me." I suddenly burst out, unable to hold it in any longer. I waited to see what his reaction was before I continued. He just looked at me, looking confused so I carried on.

"I promise it wasn't me. I didn't try, I promise."

"Who then?" He asked and I could see that he wasn't sure whether he believed me or not. I didn't answer straight away. Instead I stared down into my lap, not wanting to have to tell my husband that his mother had tried to kill me and then made it look like I'd tried to take my own life.

"Kathy." I whispered, and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

He looked at me for a second taking in what I'd just said before he sprung up and practically sprinted out of the room. He didn't believe me!

**Warren**

"I'm sorry," she hung onto my arm begging for my forgiveness, "I just wanted to be part of the family, you never phone me or come to see me anymore." I just scoffed.

"I wonder why, could it be that you threatening my wife, hitting her and then nearly killing her and all the time making out like she was the crazy one, not you. Kirsty may be far from perfect but you you're a crazy vindictive monster who needs to stay away from me and my family. I want nothing more to do with you; I mean what did you expect? That it would be all hugs and kisses everything forgiven."

"Warren please, you don't mean this you're angry if you just calm down we can talk." I couldn't hold in my angry and longer and I did something I'd never done before to my mother; I lashed out, sharply catching my mother's cheek with my hand. She didn't fall but held her cheek with her hand tears glinting in her eyes.

"Get out of my house now." I bellowed at her. She'd nearly ruined everything. She'd destroyed my hold over Kirsty and I was barely holding onto her and Nita. I was not going to lose them because of her.

"Now!" When she didn't move I roughly grabbed her arm pulling her with me towards the front door. I pulled it open, shoving her out onto the street slamming the door in her face with out looking at her.

"Dad." Nita's wary voice came from the stairs put I was too angry to look at her.

**Nita **

I'd over heard every word that has been exchanged by dad and grandma and I sat at the top of the stairs in shock. How could all this have happened? How had my perfect little family turn into this? I guess it had never been perfect, I'd just not seen the whole picture. How could my mum have out up with this all these years and never done or said anything about it? Why had she done all of that for me? I wouldn't have let her if I'd have known.

We would have been gone, but now my dad wasn't even the bad guy anymore; but he wasn't the good one either. I was so confused. I could hug my dad for slapping grandma but I was repulsed to think that that's the way he treated mum, but worse.

He wouldn't look at me after it happened. I suppose it hurt him to find out what his mother had done. He wouldn't speak to me either. He just turned and went to the kitchen and pulled a beer out of the fridge. I turned and headed back up stairs, thinking that I should stay out of his way if he was drinking, I didn't want to do anything to provoke him.

**Sorry Sararah he believed her I couldn't imagine him not; after all he does love Kirsty, he just looses his temper. Dudeybob I've used what you said in your review as what Nita is feeling, it just seemed to fit that she would be confused about the whole thing and unsure of who to trust. Thanks for reviewing Lucymoosey123 it's great to hear that you're enjoying reading it. thanks for reading :D **


	45. Chapter 45

**Kirsty **

I hadn't expected him to believe me, not over his beloved mother, but I was shocked about how much it hurt to see him stride out of the room, unwilling to look or talk to me any longer. It was like all the wind had been knocked out of me and suddenly I was struggling for breath.

I'm not sure how or when Adam arrived, I don't even know when I realised it was him that was holding me, rubbing circles on my back and telling me everything was ok, and to breath. But I was calming down, listening to his soft voice in my ear. I sagged against him, his chest moving up and down with each breath. The tightness around my lungs and chest vanished and I dragged oxygen into my body in long, deep breaths.

Once my breathing was back to normal I expected Adam and pull away from me and start asking questions about what had caused my panic attack; except he didn't. He kept hold of me, his arms wrapped strongly around my back, keeping me close to him. He didn't want to let me go either. My hands were balled against his chest gripping onto his scrub top and I realised that my knuckles were white from the force of my clutch on him. Slowly I opened my fists releasing my stiff fingers from his now crinkled green hospital top.

He must have felt me do this because he gently took my shoulders in his hands and pulled me away from him so that we could look at each other clearly. For a moment I lost my self in his wonderful eyes. In that moment I wasn't scared about the questions he was about to ask me and my answers to those questions, or how he would react to anything I did or said, it was just me and him sitting in the middle of a room, it didn't matter which one, we were just sitting. He was giving me so much comfort and all he was doing was looking at me and being close to me.

I lost all time, nothing seemed to matter. I could see the same expression in my eyes reflected in his and everything in the world seemed right. That was until we were broken apart by the sharp rapping of Charlie's knuckles on the door telling us that our time was up.

We stood wordlessly and headed out of the room and into the bedroom Ruth and I shared. It was empty s I sat on my bed and Adam sat on Ruth's. Now when I looked into Adam's eyes I could see all the questions he wanted to ask and I suddenly felt like a small child with so much to hide. I nervously looked away choosing to look at the bathroom door instead of at Adam. I think he could tell I was trying to avoid the inevitable questions because he stood up and came to sit beside me taking my hands in his.

"Kirsty," he used my name to try and get me to look at him again but it didn't work as I kept my eyes firmly on both of our hands curled together. "What happened?" He asked after a small pause and realising that I wasn't going to look at him just yet.

"I didn't do it." I said quietly but firmly. I needed him to know that, probably more than I needed Warren to know.

"I believe you, I really do but how did it happen then?" I looked up at him now trying to work out if he really did believe me. I looked deep into his eyes and he was doing the same to me. I could tell he believed me but I was unsure at to why he did. Warren never believed me about anything, even when I was telling the truth.

"What happened?" He repeated gently.

"She drugged me."

"Who?" Adam cut across me looking rather angry.

"Kathy. I swear I didn't know what I was drinking. I wouldn't have drunk it if I did I promise, I wouldn't do that. Not ever." I started to panic now I'd told him. He just had to believe me.

"It's ok. It's ok," he soothed me, cupping my face with his hands. His nose was so close to mine and I could feel his warm breath on my face. We fell back into each other staring endlessly into each others eyes.

Oh how I wanted more but even in the moment I could never forget that Warren and Kathy were at home waiting for me and I wouldn't dare act on it when they were alone with Nita. It would be their brilliant excuse to turn her against me, if they hadn't already.

"I believe you." He finished and tears sprung in my eyes, well at least two people did.

"Warren doesn't." I blurted out not knowing was possessed me to tell Adam that.

"What," Adam sounded angry and I cursed my self for my little out burst. "How can he not believe you?" He questioned me and I sat searching my brain for an answer that would help shed a better light on him but I couldn't come up with anything so had to settle for,

"Well she is his mother." I was unprepared for Adam's reaction to this and ended up jumping backwards as he let out a loud and rather frightening,

"and you're his bloody wife." His face had reddened and a pulsing vein had appeared on his forehead and I sat looking at him wondering what he was going to do next. I never thought he was going to hurt me but I'd grown so accustom to Warren's violence that I couldn't help but cower and then try to move backwards slowly.

Adam took one look at me and immediately calmed. He'd noticed my reaction to his sudden mood change and it was enough to stop him in his tracks. I'd seen Warren do it a couple of times at the very beginning of our relationship but he would soon start shouting again questioning my why I was scared of him. But Adam hadn't started shouting; in fact he hadn't said anything at all. He was stood like a statue, not even blinking, as if he was scared to make his next move.

I was curled up against the headboard of my bed and Adam stood at the foot. He'd taken a tiny step towards me and moved his hands out in front of him as if he was going to hug me but had stopped again. I wanted him to hug me, to wrap me in his arms and never let go; but I had just flinched as he tried to approach me. I've no idea why, I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened and now there was no way for me to take it back.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered complete bewildered by the whole situation. I'm Kirsty, I'm strong. I don't flinch or cower from people at work. Home is home and work is work, two separate places for two completely different Kirsty's.

"Hey there's nothing to be sorry about you've been through a lot, it's ok to let go." He'd moved closer to me as he spoke and sat in front of me look at me with concern in his warm brown eyes. "You can talk to me you know."

**Sorry it's taken so long I'm having to sort through all my files because my laptops old and slow and its taking the mickey, I know exactly what I want the next chapter to be, and started it so it shouldn't be too long :D Thanks for reviewing PoppyNoble, I'm still up in the air as to whether Nita will warm to him a bit. Not really sure if she should or not. **

**And omg I can't believe Kirsty left, I knew she was going to but I was still hoping that maybe it wouldn't happen. Now there will be no more Kadam ****, and I love that Kirsty sent Tess flowers and Adam looked up and knew that she was gone. **


	46. Chapter 46

**Adam**

I sat watching over Kirsty as she slept. She looked so peaceful now and it was hard to imagine her as she was less than half an hour ago. How could Warren not believe her about Kathy? Did he not know her at all?

A tear leaked from beneath her closed eye lid, even asleep she couldn't full escape. I gently wiped it away with the pad of my thumb all too aware that she could wake at any moment from my touch, but I couldn't watch it fall any longer.

I could tell it was getting late because darkness had fallen outside but Ruth hadn't returned yet so I stayed beside her. If only things had been different. I could imagine us meeting when we were younger, our first date even getting married and having kids. I had to keep reminding myself of the hard truth. She was married to Warren and they had Nita, their daughter to look after.

"Hi," Ruth's small voice caused me to look around at her to see her hovering in the doorway.

"Hey, sorry I was just saying goodnight." I blurted out stupidly scared that she would have been able to read my thoughts. I dipped down placing a kiss to Kirsty's forehead before standing, saying goodnight to Ruth and walking, in a daze out of the psych unit.

I found myself out in the cold night's air. It was quiet around the side of the hospital and lit with a yellowy orange light. I could tell it was him. A black silhouette strutting towards me in a way that I'd only ever seen him do. Suddenly I was angry as I remembered Kirsty sobbing into my arms distraught that he hadn't believed her about his mother. How could he not believe her?

He'd seen me to, I know he had. He was heading to the main entrance but had changed his course and was now heading towards me. I felt my hands balling into fists, my heart beating faster, my face tingeing red. He was not going to get away with not believing Kirsty over his mother.

I started striding towards him in the same aggressive demeanour he was striding towards me with. My fist itched at my side and the second it was in range of Warren's face it struck out. Warren stumbled backwards one of his hands clutching his cheek, but he managed to regain his balance and quickly recovered the couple of paces between us.

"How could you not believe her?" I questioned angrily.

"What?" He quickly lost the look of anger he had and it was replaced by confusion.

"How could you not believe Kirsty over your mother?"

I was transfixed by how quickly the look of confusion changed into the intense the look of anger that literally flicked onto his face. It was at if his eyes had turned red. His mouth was snarling and he look as if he was foaming at the mouth and he reminded me of my childhood when I was attacked by the neighbours vicious dog.

While I was distracted by memories of that dog I missed Warren's fist flying towards me and was caught unaware when it collided with my face with such speed and power that I was thrown to the floor.

He didn't stop and wait for me to get up instead he showered me in blow after blow from either his feet or his fists. I could feel blood trickling down my forehead and my vision was blurry, my body ached all over and my ribs were screaming out in pain.

I must have lost consciousness at some point because the next thing I knew I was waking up in rhesus with Tess hovering over me.

"Adam, you gave us quiet a scare you know." She spoke very motherly.

"Sorry." I said before attempting to sit up. I winced as my ribs prevented me from moving probably.

"Don't try and sit up. You've got a couple of broken ribs." Tess informed me and I felt like informing her that I was a doctor.

The rest of the day went painfully slowly I couldn't wait to get discharged I hated being the patient not the doctor. Colleagues came and went giving me well wishes and telling me that they hoped that they caught who ever did this to me. I knew it was Warren but I wanted to talk to Kirsty before I told the police. Tess had told me that the police had arrived to take a statement from me a couple of hours ago but I told her I wasn't up to it yet so they were coming back in the morning.

I needed to talk to Kirsty. It was as if someone had switched a light bulb on in my head because I suddenly saw things clearly. Warren had been playing us all. It wasn't his brother that had been abusing Kirsty; it was him, and now I knew and I was going to make sure it stopped.

I was just about to do my last check before making my way down to the psych ward to see Kirsty when the door opened and Ruth's head poked through the small opening.

"He's in here." I heard her whisper back out of the door, into the corridor then Kirsty slipped inside closing the door behind her.

"Hey," she sighed not having the guts to look me in the eye, she knew exactly what had happened.

"Hi." She stepped further into the room and I saw she looked awful. Her eyes were swollen and red indicating that she had been crying recently and at the sight of her my heart melted and all the bad feelings I'd been harbouring about Warren disappeared.

"I'm so sorry I should never have spoken to you earlier, I didn't mean to it just sort of happened; I'm so sorry. I promise it will never happen again. Please don't tell anyone, I swear he won't come anywhere near you again. I promise." She blurted out and it took me a couple of second for me to process what she had said.

She was covering for him. I shouldn't have been surprised, she had been doing it for years and years but it never struck me that she would try and cover for him now so instead of answering I just sat staring at her with my mouth open not having a clue how to answer her.

"Ok." I finally answered feeling that I had to say something. I wasn't really sure as to why I had just agreed to it but I had.

"Really?" She questioned obviously surprised by my answer.

All I could do was nod.

"How are you feeling?" She asked changing the subject.

"Ok." I answered knowing that she would have received much worst over the years and never complained about it.

I could tell she didn't believe me but I didn't expect her to retrieve my notes from the end on my bed and start reading through them.

"Kirsty, please I'm fine." I said making a move to grab the notes from her but I didn't get far before I gasped from the pain erupting in my rib cage. She was at my side instantly lying me back down and tucking the covers around me.

"Shall I go and ask for more pain killers for you, you must me in agony?"

"It's nothing compared to some of the breaks you've had." I stated and she stepped back, hurt clear in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Kirsty," I reached out my arm for her but she didn't move to reach for it so I moved to get up to go to her.

"Adam you have to slow down. You're not well enough to get out of bed. You'll hurt yourself more." She spoke caringly as she re-tucked me back into bed but I didn't pay any attention to her tenderness instead I focused on the fact she was being the biggest hypocrite in the world.

"How can you say that to me? You carried on like normal, acting like he wasn't hurting you. I've seen you're X-rays. I've seen the damage he's done to you, old and new. Some of them happened while you worked here and I saw you everyday and you never let on, just carried on coming to work even though the pain must have been unbearable. So you do not get to lecture me on how much I can and can't do." I regretted the words almost immediately, knowing that I had gone too far. I'd taken all my anger out on her and the look on her face made my heart hurt ten times more than my injuries.

Tears welled in her eyes and for a moment she stood not knowing what to do and then, in a split second she'd turned and run. I knew I couldn't catch her so I just watched her go, not know what I would say to her if I could.

**I'm really sorry it's taken me this long to upload this chapter but my life took a turn for the worst and its taken me this long to find my feet again, sorry again hope you enjoy it. **


	47. Chapter 47

**Warren **

What right did she have to tell that jumped up doctor our business? She didn't. It was ours and no one else's. Did she really believe that I didn't believe her? Stupid woman, of course I believed her I knew what my mom was like. I did grow up with her after all but I never thought that she would go this far. That was why she was now out on the street.

I had been going to see Kirsty but that stupid doctor had been there. I knew she wouldn't be happy with me for laying into him but who was he to tell me about my life. He knew nothing about it; he was stupid enough to believe my brother had been the one hurting Kirsty.

Well now he had probably clocked onto the truth but I knew I could count on Kirsty to keep him quiet. I could tell that she had him wrapped around her little finger and while I hated him and her because I could see that they were close, too close never mind how much they tried to deny it, but I knew nothing had happened.

Well not yet anyway because he would have know about the bruises much sooner if it had. Now it would come in handy to keep him quiet and I was going to make sure that nothing would ever happen between them.

I smirked at the thought of him lying unconscious in the hospital car park. He thought he could take me on, he thought he could beat me and now he was just a crumbled body lying motionless on the floor.

No matter how angry Kirsty was at me it was worth it just to remind him that Kirsty was my wife and there would be severe consequences for him if he ever touched her.

**Kirsty**

It had been three days since I'd seen either Adam or Warren and Nita and I was beginning to think that I'd been forgotten about and left in here to rot. I knew that there was nothing wrong with me but I was too scared to try and do anything about it in case Warren didn't want me to.

There was a time when I would have just done what I wanted to do anyway and accepted the beating because I would have gotten one anyway for something else but now I was just tired.

It was kind of nice being in here anyway. Ruth, I know that no one would ever believe me, was becoming a great friend and an amazing confidante. After years of never telling anyone what when on when I was at home it was strange telling her but it felt amazingly good to finally get it off my chest.

I was sat in the day room not paying attention to anything around me when I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder. I reacted naturally and sunk away from it the muscles in my back tensing. Fear had already kicked in before I realised where I was and that whoever had their hand on my shoulder would not be able to do anything in here.

I turned slowly to see Warren stood above me. I couldn't work out the expression on his face but I was quickly distracted as I saw that Nita was stood beside him. I was about to jump from my seat and embrace her in a hug but I stopped myself and looked to Warren for approval before I moved a mussel.

He nodded slightly and a smile erupted on my face as I threw myself at my daughter. She was slightly taken back at first but then wrapped her arms around me and held me as tightly as I was holding her.

I buried my face in her hair, smelling the shampoo she always insisted on buying. We pulled away slowly and I took in her appearance for the first time. I could see that she was wearing make-up and my eyes immediately fell on her cheek. I'd covered up enough bruises in my life to know exactly what was under that make-up.

I grabbed her hand pulling her behind me and turned to confront Warren.

"No mum," Nita tried to pull me around to face her but I wasn't having any of it. He promised me that he would never lay a hand on her; he promised.

"It was grandma." Nita shouted at me and it broke through my rage. I turned to look at her tears filling my eyes. I moved my hand up to her face and cupped her bruised cheek.

"I'm so sorry, I should have been there, stopped her."

"Stop mum." She said firmly and I did.

"She gone now, I threw her out and she's never welcome ever again." Warren spoke and I turned to look at him proud that he had thrown her out to protect his daughter from her.

"Thank you." I spoke meaningfully tears glistening in my eyes once again.

"We've come to take you home mum." Nita said joyfully and I turned again to see a huge smile on her face. I glanced over to Warren to check if this was true and found him smiling not only at Nita but at me as well.

"Yes, we've come to take you home." He said and I felt like the perfect little family we tried to seem from the outside.


	48. Chapter 48

**Charlie **

"You can't just check patients out of here whenever you please Mr Clemence. She has to go through assessments and be confirmed as having a fit state of mind before she can be signed out by two doctors, and I certainly wouldn't want to discharge her before I thought that she was able to cope with the outside world." I tried to explain that he couldn't just waltz in here and take Kirsty home whenever he felt like it but it didn't seem to be going down well.

"But she my wife and I want her at home with me and Nita, where she should be." He stressed the end of the sentence but it made no difference to me. I wasn't going to let her go home today and probably not any time soon.

"I'll fill out whatever paperwork you want but she's coming home with us today." He continued when he realised I wasn't going to budge and started telling me what was going to happen.

"It doesn't work like that she's been committed and two doctors have to sign off on her stable state of mind before she can leave and we would have to see a dramatic change in her behaviour. We would want her talking and eating and lots of therapy sessions under her belt so that she starts to deal with everything that has happened to her." I tried to keep my cool and explain to him but Warren's face was turning redder by the second.

"I want her transferred to a private hospital then, so she can get the best care." He said snootily openly implying that they weren't giving his wife the best care.

"I really don't think that is necessary Mr Clemence, or in Kirsty's best interest." I tried to reason with him. I highly doubted that Kirsty would want to be moved to a different hospital where she didn't know anyone.

"Who are you to tell me what is in my wife's best interest? I'm going to go and tell Kirsty what is happening, and then I'm going home to arrange it." And with that he stalked off towards Kirsty's room probably to tell her what was going to happen.

**Warren**

Who was he to tell me Kirsty couldn't come home? He didn't know anything, about her or about her life. She was fine. All she needed was to be back at home, away from my mother and her work colleagues.

I was fuming by the time I reach Kirsty's room and I pushed the door open. It swung easily on its hinges and slammed against the wall behind it. I stepped into the room boldly looking dirtily at the young woman sat on the opposite bed to Kirsty.

I took hold of the door and slammed it closed in frustration.

Kirsty jumped in her seat which was on her bed, a look of panic and fear on her face. I strode over to her bed and noticed how she cowered away from me slightly, but I didn't care.

"I'm having you transferred to a private hospital so you can get the best care. I really don't think you are receiving it here." I smeared the word 'here' showing just how little I thought of it.

She looked shocked for a second before she had taken in what I had said. Then she just nodded in submission. That was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I thought she was going to put up a fight. I thought that she would have wanted to stay here and would have had the courage to say that to me while we were in a public place and knew that I couldn't do very much to her with out drawing attention and suspicion to myself.

But she hadn't she just nodded in agreement her eyes looking coldly into mine. I don't think I'd ever seen her look so coldly at me before. She'd been angry and upset but never icy cold. It was shilling and a small shiver went up my spine. I managed not to shiver noticeably and instead made it look like I was stretching.

"You're moving first thing in the morning so I'll pack your bag for you." I said moving to pull her bag out from underneath her bed. I did and placed it on the bed beside her. She made no movement to help me while I placed her clothes and toiletries into the bag instead she stared blankly at the floor in front of her and I wondered who this show was for, me or the woman scrutinizing my every move.

I could feel her room mate's eyes burning into my back. She was watching every little thing I did but chose to ignore her completely. I was so close to turning around and losing my temper with her and I had to keep reminding myself where I was and what would happen if I did. So rather than create a scene which might possibly stop me taking Kirsty to the private hospital tomorrow I finished packing her bag and zipped it closed.

I sat next to Kirsty taking her hands in mine. I wanted to speak to her but her room mate stayed exactly where she was even when I asked her not so nicely to leave us alone. She was in a psychiatric ward after all; she could well have mental problems.

I sat with Kirsty in silence for about five minuets glaring up at the woman opposite us from time to time but she never seemed to get the hint. In the end I gave up and tucked Kirsty into bed. I pulled the duvet over her then snuggled the sides in for warmth.

"Sleep well, you've got a big day tomorrow. I love you." I said with little to no emotion. I placed a kiss to her forehead before getting up and leaving the room. If only she knew how big it would actually be.

**A big thank you to Gillian Kearney Fan for reviewing my last chapter:D Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think Hope you enjoy!**


	49. Chapter 49

**Kirsty**

I sat in the car beside Warren not really paying attention to where we were going. It didn't really matter it would just be to another hospital, but one where I had no friends to visit or familiar faces for comfort. I had no idea how long I would have to stay in this one either. I knew the system and if I wasn't careful I could be lost in it for a year or more.

I wanted to go home to my Nita, my precious daughter, nothing else in the world matter to me now, nothing apart from her. That's why I was with Warren, that how I had ended up here.

I didn't know what to think about Adam. He hadn't tried to talk to me since I had gone to see him. Had I over reacted to his words. After all he was bound to be hurt that I hadn't been able to confide in him, and he was in a lot of pain but still his words stung and kept replacing in my mind.

Warren pulled into the curb and smoothly brought the car to a stop. I didn't even bother to look where we were. Adam's harsh words were taking over my mind until I could barely breathe. I could feel my chest tightening at the thought of Adam never wanting anything to do with me ever again. I flung my left hand to the side and clawed at the door trying to find the door handle in my panic.

Eventually I felt the cool metal under my hand and tugged at it swinging the door open quickly and throwing myself into the fresh, warm summer morning. Fresh air hit my lungs and I immediately felt calmer and more in control, I desperately didn't want to make a bad first impression at this new hospital. I wanted to be in and out as quickly as I could so I could get back to my normal life with Nita.

And the beatings.

I would take them everyday, and I did just to be with her.

I regained my composure and for the first time I took in my surrounding. I stopped breathing. Were we really here? How on earth did this work? I looked down the familiar street, at the two rows of houses lit by the sun. I was home.

I scanned for Warren and found him at the top of the stairs to our house with the front door wide open his eyes transfixed on me. His key was still in the lock and he pulled it out viciously indicating that he wasn't in a good mood and I should hurry up and get into the house.

I grabbed my bad from the car slammed the door and scurried into the house. I could barely believe I was home. I'd been wishing to be here for so long and suddenly I was here with no warning what so ever.

I stood just inside the door looking around not really knowing where to go next. Warren pushed past me and made his way into the kitchen. I heard him flick the switch on the kettle on from my place in the hall but I didn't move. What should I do? I hadn't been in this house and allowed to be myself for what felt like half a life time and I was too over whelmed, and scared to allow myself to make myself at home.

"Are you just going to stand there all day?" Warren's annoyed voice startled me and I quickly made my way into the kitchen. Warren was leaning with his back against the kitchen counter and eyed me with what looked like amusement as I stepped into the room.

"Aren't you going to thank me?" He questioned but I was surprises because there was no hint of anger in it.

"Thank you," I said immediately, "But how?" I questioned still in a mild state of shock, I was actually standing in my kitchen. I had thought that this day would be so far way but here I was and my head just couldn't seem to grasp the concept.

"Your private hospital only has one patient." He grinned at me congratulating his own brilliance, yes he was actually grinning.

"Ohhh," I let out the small noise as I fell into his understanding. I had no idea how long he was going to be able to keep this charade up but I didn't think it would be long. Then I realised where I was and who I was talking to.

"That's brilliant." I said trying to make myself sound believable. He seemed to buy it, or he was too caught up in thinking how brilliant it actually was to take notice of me. He was going to hide me in my own house. Maybe people wouldn't clock on as quickly as I first thought.

All I wanted to do now was see Nita. I didn't know whether she was home or not. She probably wasn't as it was a school day but part of me hoped that Warren would have kept her off so that we could see each other.

I didn't think I could wait till three thirty to see her. Sitting around the house watching the clock wait desperately to see her. I'd probably have chores to do but the whole time my mind would be on her. If Nita was home she would have come down to meet me by now, I realised and my heart sank. Waiting till three thirty it was then.

**I can't believe I'm on chapter 49 - nearly 50! Huge thank you to DennisDaMenace and charliecharlie for reviewing my last chapter. I'm so glad you're enjoying it, sorry about the cliff-hangers, I just can't help myself ;D hope you like it xx**


	50. Chapter 50

**Kirsty**

Warren had been receiving calls all morning. Every single one of them had been about me. Tess, Charlie, Jay, Noel, Zoe, Emily had called twice and even Adam had phoned.

I could see Warren getting more and more wound up. He hadn't banked on everyone being so nosy and checking up on me so soon and asking when they could visit. I could see it coming, there was no way all this anger they were creating wouldn't be directed at me at some point.

I tried to lay low, cleaning, cooking hoping that being the best wife ever would stop the inevitable but I might as well not have bothered. I jumped as the phone stared ringing again and I prayed that it wasn't another person trying to check up on me.

My prayers were unanswered as Warren answered the phone and sprouted out the web of lies he had concocted and told everyone else. He waited for them to hang up the vein on his forehead already bulging with anger.

He slammed the phone back into its rest causing both parts to break under his fist. This only increased his anger and I prayed that Nita would stay in her room for the evening whilst Warren vented his anger.

His hand loosened around the broken pieces of phone and they fell into a pile on the counter, another household object that I now needed to replace. He closed the door slowly behind him letting me know that I was trapped.

I thought that I would at least get a couple of nice days at home with him where everything would be good and calm when I returned, but I had been very wrong. At least all of my old injuries had healed and I was all shinny and new just waiting for more punches and kicks to break me again.

He advanced on me, and I backed away from him. It was only when I no longer had anywhere to go that I stopped, my back firmly pressed against the wall. That's when his face turned into a smirk and I knew he would enjoy what he was going to do to me next.

"It's been a long time Kirsty, and I've been waiting for this. You may have gotten lucky recently; but your luck had just changed. I'm going to make sure that your friends don't want to see you any longer. Then it will just be me, you and Nita all the time." He sneered at me. He knew exactly where to hurt me. He was going to take away all my freedom and leave me with nothing but my home life with him and Nita.

I would have no friends; no work, no nothing. I would never have anything that I could escape to again. At that moment it felt like my life was about to end. I couldn't live like that, with nothing but a daughter; who hated me, to live for.

"No." I don't know why I said it. It just slipped out but it was too late.

"You are my wife, you do as I say. That is how it is." Warren raised powerfully, his voice at me not quiet shouting. He moved forward leaning over me and the second he was finished speaking his closed fist connected with my jaw with a sickening thud.

I leant into the wall and managed to use it to stay on my feet. I cupped my throbbing cheek with one hand and looked up at him, fear in my eyes. I had nearly died the last time he had laid into me. How could I be sure that things wouldn't go too far this time?

My thoughts were cut in half by Warren's knee connecting with my stomach. I couched and gasped for air as he gripped my shoulders stopping me from doubling over and falling to the floor.

It took me a while to recover and I wondered why Warren was just holding me upright with out attacking me further. I looked into his eyes daringly. He was glaring at me, waiting for me to look away first but I didn't. After a couple of seconds it was clear to both of us that this had become a battle of wills and I could see that there was no way on earth that Warren would lose to me, and even if he did he would probably kill me for it.

There was no other option for me but to look away; but I couldn't bring myself to do it. No matter how much Warren really did scare me I wanted to prove that I still had some of the backbone that I had when we first met.

So we carried on staring at each other neither of us willing to look away I could feel the tension rising in the room at an alarming rate and we stayed that way until it was almost unbearable.

We were in complete silence the only noise being the faint sound of traffic coming from the road at the front of our house. I could feel myself beginning to sweat under his gaze. Warren's hands were still on my shoulders although his grip had loosened and it seemed they were just resting there.

Thud. I saw stars as Warren gripped my shoulders once more brought me closer to him and then head butted me. My forehead was on fire but I was too stunned to do anything but collapse onto the floor as Warren released my shoulders, like they were on fire.

I didn't manage to sit up either and I ended up lying at his feet. I couldn't see straight, just the blur of lights around me. I left a foot connect with my thigh and I gasped in pain taking my hands of guard from my face, to my leg leaving my face open for the next kick and it went straight for head. I didn't even feel the pain, the black, emptiness took over immediately.

**I can't believe it has taken me so long to up-date this, especially when you've all been so lovely with your reviews. I finally made it to chapter 50 as well my longest and most successful fiction so far so I want to thank everyone who has been reading and reviewing, you are all awesome. I think there's about ten more chapters to go so if anyone has any amazing happily ever afters, or maybe even a sad ending let me no :D Thanks for sticking with me for so long, Lucy xx**


	51. Chapter 51

**Nita**

I heard a sickening thud but it was the silence that came after it that scared me the most. Normally after a thud like that I would hear mum scream out in pain, but there was nothing, no sound what so ever. I shot up from my foetal position on the stairs and raced down them, jumping the last few. I used the banister to swing around in the hallway and make my way towards the kitchen.

The door was closed but I didn't give myself time to think about what I would find on the other side as I threw it open. I had only just got my mum back there was no way that I was going to lose her again.

I stood in shock in the doorway as I saw my mum, unconscious, at my dad's feet; but my dad hadn't stopped. He was still kicking her; he was so engrossed in beating the life out of her that he hadn't noticed that I was stood watching him in horror.

"Stop." I yelled as another kick landed in her stomach, no wonder I was an only child. His foot was raised ready to kick again but he had stopped and was looking at me. He didn't know what to do. There was no way that he could deny what was going on but I could see him trying to think of something to say to make this situation alright.

**Kirsty**

I woke yet again on the kitchen floor, but this time around it wasn't to the silence of yet another early morning. Instead there were raised voices around me. My eyes shot open as I recognised the voices of those as Nita and Warren.

I sat up sharply making my head spin but the horror of what I saw focused it immediately. I scrabbled to my feet desperately needing my legs to support me. I didn't make it to them in time and another punch landed in my daughter's stomach.

"Nita." I screamed drawing both of their attention to me. That's all I wanted, to keep my daughter safe. As long as his attention was on me Nita could get out, she would be safe. I staggered towards them and fell into the table. I managed to keep myself upright as I used the table for support.

Warren was still holding tightly onto Nita but she had stopped struggling to get away from him and was watching me in shock. It was then that I realised that she had never witnessed any of his violence before, she may have heard it but being in the middle of it and seeing what was going on was bound to be shocking.

Not only was she witnessing it for the first time, but it was also the first time her father had ever laid a violent finger on her. I lent on the table dragging ragged breaths into my body.

"How could you? You promised me that you would never lay a finger on her." My voice came out louder and stronger than I felt, but I was furious. How could he have laid a finger on his own daughter?

"You, cheating slut," he spat at me, "do not get to tell me how I treat my daughter. If she's got what's coming to her, she's got what's coming to her." He sounder venomous and I watched as his grip tightened on her arms and she started to struggle against him again. I was racing towards them as fast as I could, trying to think of a way to get Nita out of this house safely.

Warren moved away from me taking Nita with him. He pushed her up against the far wall and I watched as tears rolled down her cheeks. This was the moment I never wanted to see but the one I had been having nightmares about for years. I never wanted to believe that he would hurt her, but there was always that little feeling of doubt in my mind.

I didn't reach her in time to stop yet another fist flying into her small body. I let out a cry as I watched my daughter double over in pain and drop to the floor as I had done thousands of times before. I knew what was coming next, I couldn't even count how many times it had happened to me but there was no way that I was going to let him do that to her.

I needed to get her out of the house safely. Nothing came to me in the time it took me to move across the kitchen. I reached her just in time to throw myself in-between my daughter and my husbands work boot as he swung it towards her.

His boot connected with my hip but I barely felt the pain. I had to get Nita to safety. I quickly pulled myself up off the floor facing Warren. Nita clutched onto the back of my jeans, like she used to do when she was a small child. With one of my hands I reached behind me and pulled her to her feet, all the time watching Warren making sure that I was ready for his next move.

And then it came, a right hook. It landed squarely on my jaw and I fell backwards into Nita. I caught my balance after a second or so but it was Nita's scream that had affected me the most.

Warren wasn't just going to leave it at the one punch and the second one landed in my stomach before my eyes had focused again. I doubled over, winded and started gasping for breath. This gave Warren his opening and he reached over me and grabbed the front of Nita's tee-shirt and pulled her around me to stand in front of him.

I stood up and tried to push my way in-between them again but Warren was shouting at Nita. I couldn't make out what he was saying as my head was still swimming, but I did see him reach over and grab at a glass on the counter top.

He was still holding on to the front of Nita's tee-shirt with one hand and using the other to bring the glass forcefully down onto her head. I threw my arm across her head and winced at the glass broke against my arm, breaking the skin.

His focus changed then, from our daughter to me. He released Nita, his eyes burning into me. Warren grabbed me by the throat and pushed Nita aside to pin me against the wall.

"Get out Nita." I tried to yell to her but I came out spluttered.

"You leave now and you'll never see your mother alive again." Warren spat his face centimetres from mine as he spoke to Nita. I knew that she wouldn't leave now.

I managed to find the strength to bring my knee up between his legs he doubled over shouting and cursing in pain. I used this opportunity to grab Nita's arm and make a run for the front door.

I got to the front door first pulling Nita behind me. I yanked open the front door and pushed Nita out of it in front of me.

"Run as fast as you can and don't look back." I told her as I felt the iron grip of one of his hands on my shoulder and the other buried deep into my curls; I knew I wasn't going anywhere.

**A big thank you to lucymoosey123 for reviewing the last chapter, I'm glad that your enjoying it, hope you like this one to! Sorry about the cliff hanger, I'm just mean :P, Lucy xx**


	52. Chapter 52

**Nita**

I ran out of the house with out looking back. I knew mum was trying to make sure I was safe, but I knew I had to get help as fast as I could. Dad nearly killed her last time, now I had no idea how far he would go but it terrified me to think that he could and would kill her this time.

I knew exactly where I was going. I didn't have much time. As I rounded street corners I didn't notice people staring at me, I didn't care I just had to get to Adam and fast. And then there he was pulling out of the hospital car park in his 'cool' car.

I jumped in front of his car with out thinking. Adam slammed on the brakes and skidded to a halt inches from me.

"Nita?" He questioned jumping out of the car and racing to see if I was hurt. After the once over he decided I was fine.

"What the hell were you thinking? I could have killed you." I didn't answer him for once I needed an adult to listen to me.

"Mum, you have to help her. Dad's gone mad, he's going to kill her." I added the last bit in a small voice and Adam suddenly looked panicked.

"At your house?" He questioned quickly already making a move towards the driver's seat. I couldn't bring myself to say yes. Instead I nodded and moved to the passenger side of the car throwing the door open and jumping in.

We were driving towards my house before I had time to click my seatbelt into place. I sat silently beside Adam as he changed gears and turned corners. I watched the digital clock in his dash board cringing every time the small number at the end would increase.

I concentrated on the clock, I couldn't bare to think about what he was doing to her; how much he was hurting her. Adam skidded to a stop and I looked up to find that we were outside my house.

"Nita you have to stay here. Do not come into the house." He spoke to me slowly and firmly looking me directly in the eyes. I nodded and watched him unbuckle, jump out of the car and run up the front steps.

He kicked the door in with out a seconds thought and sprinted into the house, going to save my mum. The second he was out of sight I wanted to leave the car. But I couldn't bring myself to go back into the house and see what had become of my parents.

I didn't want to see the damage my dad had done to my mum. I knew that it would be bad I just sat praying that Adam had reached them in time.

**Adam**

I hit the brakes as I pulled up outside Kirsty's house. Then I turned to Nita ready to tell her what I had been practicing on the way here, trying to keep my mind off what that bastered was doing to Kirsty.

"Nita you have to stay here. Do not come into the house." I spoke to Nita slowly in a firm voice whilst looking her directly in the eyes. I needed her to know that she had to stay in the car but I didn't have the time to argue with her. She nodded and made no attempt to argue back so I assumed that she had listened to me and when to save Kirsty.

I smacked my hand against the seatbelt buckle and it clipped open. Jumping out of the car I didn't glance back as I sprinted up the stairs that led to their front door.

I used all the strength I had to kick in the front door and the second the door was out of place I was inside the house searching for Kirsty. I ran straight into the living room, and then straight back out again as Kirsty and Warren were nowhere to be seen.

Next was the kitchen door. My hand went to the handle immediately and I pushed the door open with force. I froze in the doorway for a second horrified by what was in front of me.

Then my instincts kicked in and I dove at Warren tackling him to the ground. We both recovered quickly and found ourselves on our feet at the same time. Warren was smirking evilly at me then his eyes focused on Kirsty.

"I knew the little whore was having an affair. I had to teach her a lesson." That was it I snapped my fist went flying at his face and struck him forcefully in the jaw. His head cracked backwards and he fell heavily backwards onto the floor in a lifeless heap.

My attention turned directly to Kirsty. I spun around and threw myself on my knees at her side.

"Kirsty, can you hear me?" I asked her whilst cupping her head in my hands. She didn't respond so I started checking her over. A, B, C. Airway, breathing, circulation. She had all three, I drew in a breath of relief. I grabbed my mobile out of my pocket and dialled nine, nine, nine. After asking for two ambulances and explaining both of their conditions I began checking Kirsty over with more detail.

Within five minuets both of the ambulances had turned up Warren was quickly loaded onto a stretcher and placed, still unconscious, into the back of one of the ambulances.

Kirsty however wasn't going to be so easy. Her ribs had been once again broken but it was her pelvic that was the real concern. While I was checking her over I found the broken ribs, a broken ribs, lots of scratches and bruises, possible internal bleeding and what I was pretty sure was a broken pelvic.

This mean that we couldn't transport her as easily because we had to make sure that her pelvic was well supported before we moved her. Once she was all strapped up we headed outside to the ambulance. As we were loading Nita appeared beside me. I had forgotten all about her with my worry for Kirsty. I turned to look at her. Her face was red and swollen from crying, and the look of terror in her eyes made me want to break down and cry with her.

"She's going to be alright." I managed to choke out, even if I didn't know it was the truth. I helped her up into the back of the ambulance and we were on our way.

** A huge thank you to meddrama, lucymoosey123 and Emilouisex for reviewing my last chapter you are all too kind :D Of course Nita was going to get Adam to save the day, who else would! They wouldn't be Adam and Kirsty if he didn't come and save her 3 Thanks for reading, Lucy x**


	53. Chapter 53

**Warren **

I groaned in pain as consciousness came back to me. I squinted into the brightness as I opened my eyes to find that I was in the back of an ambulance. My mind raced as I tried to remember what had happened to me. I struggled to look around the ambulance trying to work out what had happened to me. Neither Kirsty or Nita were with me just a butch looking woman who was studying a machine beside me.

Then I remember what had happened. It all came flooding back to me in one go. I had no idea if Kirsty was still alive, but if she was I was going to kill her. She had been cheating on me this whole time with Adam, there was no way she was going to get away with it.

I had known all this time but she had denied it and foolishly I believed her. Well now they are both going to pay for making me look like a fool.

"Kirsty, where's Kirsty? Is she ok?" I reeled off to the paramedic beside me.

"She's getting the best care Mr Clements." So it didn't look good.

"I need to see her. She has to be alright." I struggle to sit up.

"Please Mr Clements you need to look after yourself first. Kirsty would want that for you." I nod in agreement with her statement even though it was about as far from the truth as you could get. I settled back down onto the gurney to plan my story for the police.

I arrive at the hospital and am quick moved into cubicles. Kirsty's colleagues question me about what happened and how she was doing and I spin off some story about how we interrupted a burglar who knocked me out. I was waiting desperately for news on Kirsty and it appeared that she was doing badly because Adam hadn't bothered to tell anyone that it was me who had injured her.

Kirsty's colleagues pandered to me whilst they carried out all kinds of test on me. All the time I was questioning them about Kirsty, waiting for news on her and keeping my eyes peeled on the door waiting for her to be wheeled in or for Adam to storm in ready to tear my head off because she hadn't made it to the hospital.

I was finally put out of my misery when Kirsty was wheeled through the door. She was connected to all kinds of machines and looked awful, but Adam and Nita where no where to be seen. I watched as she was wheeled straight into rhesus and they all set about saving her, again.

Finally they seemed to stabilise her and I watched as Nita raced to her mother's side at her first chance. Most of the doctors and nurses filtered out of the room leaving only a couple of nurses to watch over her.

I disconnect myself from all the machines around me and start making my way towards my family.

"Mr Clements." I stopped in my tracks and turned to find Tess, the woman Kirsty was so scared of being late for stood arms crossed behind me.

"Please, I just want to see her. I'll be quick." Her expression softened and I knew I had gotten my way.

"Very quickly."

"Thank you." I said to her and I meant it. I walked towards rhesus expecting to be tackled to the floor any moment but it never happened. Instead my hand came to rest on the cold metal handle to the door. I paused for a moment knowing what I was about to do then swung the door open with force.

Everyone turned to see who was entering and I heard Nita whimper at my presence. I stalked over to Kirsty's bed. Nita was sat on a chair that was pulled up to the bed. She had one of Kirsty's hands in both of hers and her eyes were puffy from crying. The gentle bleeping from the heart monitor caught my attention and I watched the green line spike several times across the screen.

I stopped directly behind Nita and I saw her tense at my presents but she didn't move to look round at me but kept her eyes on her mother. I rested a heavy hand on her shoulder making her know that she was going to go along with whatever happened now.

"Mind giving us a minuet?" I asked the two nurses on duty. They both nodded at me saying that they would be back shortly. The door swung shut behind them and I was left alone with my wife and my daughter.

I walked over to the door. There was no lock on it but I hadn't expected there to be, instead I scanned the room looking for anything that would help me to barricade the door closed.

I found what I was looking for and snatched up a pair of crutches that were leaning against the wall and slipped them through the door handles. I strolled back to the bed my eyes fixed on Nita who was watching me with terror in her eyes. I found a twisted smile for her but it was broken by shouting and banging at the door behind me.

I spun around; surprise, surprise. Who was stood there? No other than Doctor Adam Trueman himself. He looked like he was ready to murder me but he had one problem. He was on the wrong side on the door.

I watched his face fall as he realised that I had barricaded us in and fear creap into his eyes. I smirked at him knowing that he could only watch me now.

**I can't believe I haven't written for ages really didn't mean to leave you guys hanging for so long, so thank you for bearing with me. Thank you to Gillian Kearney Fan for reviewing my last chapter - and me I love Adam, especially when he's racing to the rescue! Thanks for reading :) **


	54. Chapter 54

**Adam **

The police were waiting for us when we arrived at Holby. I tried to follow Kirsty out of the ambulance but the police insisted that Nita and I had to talk to them straight away. I sat with Nita whilst she told them all she knew. The experience was heart breaking.

She didn't go into great detail just enough so that the police knew exactly what had happened. The only reason I was allowed to be with her while she was being interviewed was under the condition that I stayed silent and didn't try to add anything to her statement.

So instead I held her hand, the only comfort I could give her at the time. It wasn't any where near enough, but at least it was something. She was finished; tears rolled down her cheeks and I enveloped her in a hug as she sobbed against my chest for a minute or so but I was surprised when she recovered so quickly and pulled away.

"Can I go and see my mum?" She asked me, her big brown eyes pleading, reminding me so much of her mothers. They were now officially another two big brown eyes that I couldn't refuse.

"Of course you can. She will be in rhesus, but I have to stay and give my statement first. Are you going to be ok going by yourself?" She nodded and part of me knew that she had to go and see her mum; just in case this was the last chance she was going to get.

I hated thinking like that. She just had to be alive when I was finished. I had no idea how Nita and I would cope if she wasn't. I rushed my way through my statement trying to give them as much information as I could but my mind was focused on Kirsty. I needed to know how she was. Was she awake yet? Was everyone taking care on Nita if she wasn't?

I needed to get out of this office and go and find them both. I needed to be there for them. I needed to make sure that Warren didn't come anywhere near them whilst they were all here. I had no idea how far he would go.

"You've got police watching Warren, right?" I suddenly asked panic filling me. The two police officers in front of me exchanged glances. That was enough for me to fly out of my seat fling the door open and start racing towards rhesus.

I barely felt my feet touching the floor as I covered the surprisingly long distance between Tess's office and rhesus. I had no idea who or what I passed to get there my eyes focused on a figure stood near the door.

I didn't want to believe my eyes as I got closer and could make out his silhouette through the door. I could see Kirsty unconscious through the window with Nita sat at her side. She had her back to me so I couldn't see what she was doing.

It was defiantly him in the room with Kirsty and Nita. They were alone. How could this have happened? I didn't slow as I reached the door, I didn't even think twice about bursting in and surprising them. I just had to make sure that they were safe.

It was hard to describe how much they meant to me; my colleague and her daughter. They shouldn't be close to me, yet I felt strangely connected to them both. I slammed my body weight into the door the pain not even registering as the door stayed firming in its place.

Warren turned to face me, his feature erupting into the most disturbing smile I'd ever seen. He was gloating. He took a couple of steps backwards all the time smirking about what he was going to do now and how I couldn't stop him. He was wrong I was going to stop him. I wasn't going to let him hurt another hair on either of their heads.

He turned his back to me turning his attention back to his wife and daughter. He didn't deserve them. My heart was beating out of my chest in pure fear for them both. I started banging on the door attracting attention from the rest of the ED.

"Warren let me in now." I yelled my fists pounding on the doors. He paid no attention to me instead he was squaring up to Nita. She kept her head down looking at hers and Kirsty's hands trying to ignore her father.

Fire exploded in me when his hand went to her shoulder and he pulled her to her feet.

"Get your hands off her." I yell, my assault on the door getting stronger. The two police officers from before and a couple of members of security were now beside me finally trying to help me get to Nita and Kirsty.

Nita looked terrified as he towered over her. I couldn't hear what he was saying to her but whatever it was he wasn't going to be distracted by us.

**Nita**

I watched from the window as the doctors and nurses set about once again trying to save my mums live. I watched as they connected her up to wires and tubes. I couldn't take my eyes off their faces. They looked so worried and fearful. Would she be strong enough to pull though again?

I had started praying back in Adam's car and hadn't stopped since. How could he have done this to her?

Finally they allowed me into see her. I could barely remember who she used to be. She was so bubbly and fun loving once upon a time but slowly it faded. I didn't see it at first but looking back now I can see the dramatic change from my mum the force to be reasoned with, to this fragile, broken mum that was lying in front of me now.

She looked so pale and small get again camped up in a hospital bed. I tried to exclude all her injuries from my thoughts. She was going to be ok now, she was safe here with me, Adam and all of her colleagues and friends.

I stepped closer to her and I tried to will her to open her eyes but nothing happened. I sighed audibly before pulling the nearest chair up beside her bed. Slowly I stretched my hands out of hold her lifeless one in front of me. I was a little afraid to touch her but the need to hold onto her was much greater.

I held her hand in mine and closed my eyes, and once again spoke a prayer silently to myself. It wasn't long before I wished for Adam to be sat beside me. I already knew how much he loved my mum and that he would never hurt her. I had only been sat there a couple of minutes but time was dragging as I waited for Adam to finish his statement and join us both.

I don't know what it was about him but I immediately felt safe when he was around. I didn't have to walk on egg shells and wonder if one little slip of the tongue would result in my mum getting another beating.

The door swung open and I looked up expectantly, hoping for it to be Adam. Dread and fear filled me as I saw who it was; my father.

**Nearly at the end now, can't believe this turned out to be such a long fic. Hope you like it, thanks for reading, Lucy x.**


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